The tradition continues!
Yesterday, at a Christmas Day family gathering, the scent of a silent-but-deadly bunker blast was twice briefly detected. As is usually the case, cries of accusation sprang up throughout the room, but no suspects could be indicted for this impeachable offense.
This was nothing compared to the uproarious marathon of Christmas flatulence that took place sometime around 2003, but we all knew that would be tough to top.
Monday, December 26, 2016
The tradition continues!
Posted by Bandit at 11:26 AM
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Somebody somewhere chewed gum and thought it was funny. So funny, in fact, that the January ish of The Last Word is now pub, and it includes 4 - count 'em, 4 - stories that are primarily about bubble gum.
But there's other cool poo too! This edition also talks about my bad attitude and its relevance for today's youth, how I rocked my weight "problem", people monopolizing the bathroom, and more!
Unfortunately, Scribd blocks the latest ish for some viewers, so you can access it here instead...
If you're one of the few who can access it on Scribd, point your pooper here...
Posted by Bandit at 9:12 PM
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
This story has completely ruined the holidays for me. I wanted to continue what had been a great day with a friend, but was confronted with this story. But I shouldn't be surprised.
In the 2014 "election", Kentucky State Sen. R.J. Palmer - a Winchester Democrat - was defeated in a shocking upset by far-right Republican challenger Ralph Alvarado. The Palmer campaign had run a TV ad claiming Alvarado - a doctor - was "getting rich off addiction" by overprescribing oxycodone to a criminal defendant.
It's unclear what was wrong with the ad. People accuse me of cashing in because I sued someone in small claims court or wrote a memoir about being harassed at school, so why isn't it fair game to accuse Alvarado of "getting rich off addiction"?
Alvarado filed a SLAPP lawsuit against Palmer and his political consultant Dale Emmons. And now - get this - a court has actually ordered Palmer to pay Alvarado $200,000.
What ever happened to free speech?
Hey, I think I'll sue someone for calling me an "unpatriotic patriotic bubble blower" or a "beaver teeth self" on the Internet. I feel like making $200,000 just for the asking.
We're in a war - a war of good versus evil. We have a condign right to prevail.
Posted by Bandit at 9:59 PM
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Wesley Morgan is categorically unfit for public office - his Facebook page made him appear barely even functional - and gasps were heard when the Tea Party Republican upset Democratic State Rep. Rita Smart by only 76 votes in a Richmond-area district.
But now Smart has uncovered a series of irregularities in that election. In fact, I don't have any doubt that these irregularities were outright election fraud by the Republicans.
Smart told the Madison County Elections Board of these suspicious errors. Among these irregularities, a couple who tried voting for Smart by absentee ballot was given a ballot for the wrong district (where a Republican was unopposed, because freedom). Incorrect ballots were also distributed at another precinct - affecting a Richmond City Commission race. Smart also said some voters told her they no longer voted because they were treated rudely by poll workers.
The elections board did of course refuse to do anything about these complaints.
Posted by Bandit at 4:11 PM
Monday, December 19, 2016
Because The Media is racist, they've largely ignored the fact that fascist Rep. Ryan Zinke (R-Montana) has accepted campaign donations from Earl Holt, who heads the white supremacist Council of Conservative Citizens. The CCC inspired Dylann Roof's murderous rampage against blacks at a South Carolina church.
Zinke has also promoted his legislative agenda with an organization called ProEnglish, which has been classed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Plus, Zinke has endorsed a Montana candidate who was active in a white supremacist group at the far-right Liberty University. This candidate was also a regional manager for fascist Sen. Steve Daines's campaign.
And now Zinke is Donald Trump's pick to head the Department of the Interior!
I used to work for the Department of the Interior - before Bush gutted some of its functions. I don't want a fascist like Ryan Zinke as my boss.
Posted by Bandit at 11:23 AM
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Everybody is late to the game - again.
Much as it took until 2011 (!!!) for modern America to start taking income inequality seriously again, it's taken until now for fake news to be called out as much as it is. Who are we kidding? Fake news has been a pox on modern America for decades. Worse than useless.
When I studied mass media in college, I read about the yellow journalism of old. But in a modern context, I think America's first fake news story involved William Horton during the 1988 presidential campaign.
Horton was convicted of a Massachusetts murder and terrorized a Maryland couple while on furlough from prison. Press reports always referred to him as William Horton - until they started calling him Willie Horton in 1988. Nobody had called him that before. This was a propaganda technique by the right-wing media to make Horton appear more familiar, and thus a greater threat to the average listener even though he had been captured. It was propagandistic, but was it fake news? I believe Horton's crimes were real. But the claim that Michael Dukakis had implemented the furlough program was fake. That aspect of the story was indeed fake news.
These are the facts: The furloughs were begun way back in 1972 by a Republican governor who served prior to Dukakis. Dukakis actually ended the furloughs. That is a fact!
Meanwhile, drug kingpin George H.W. Bush supported a federal program that allowed convicted heroin dealer Angel Medrano to escape and to rape and murder a woman. Bush then falsely accused the Dukakis campaign of racism for bringing up Bush's incompetence.
I was alive in 1988. I don't think I had a mullet, but I was around. I was certainly old enough to read. So I remember the fake news item about Dukakis and the furloughs. I knew it was fake. The Media back then wasn't all Fox News and Facebook, so I learned the facts pretty quickly. Thank you, Power 94½.
I dealt with a lot of liars on a personal level in 1988, but the right-wing media's gaslighting, fake news, and race-baiting encouraged violence in the community - much as Donald Trump's ill-gotten victory has recently. Trumpism and fake news aren't new to me.
Posted by Bandit at 1:32 PM
Saturday, December 17, 2016
So now I'm not just a "dopleganger" (sic) or an "unpatriotic patriotic bubble blower" or a "beaver teeth self." Now I'm a "goon" too.
I made a post on a local Facepoo forum in which I criticized the unconstitutional practice of requiring students in extracurricular activities to take a drug test. The usual crew of alt-right crackpots immediately spouted off, and several of them demanded I leave town if I don't support this policy.
One other ultra-right-winger said that playing sports in school means "you forfeit certain rights." I had to set him straight. I replied...
"You don't just forfeit rights. That's why they're called rights."
Then he responded...
"Rights and privileges are two different things goon."
Yay! A right-winger called me a "goon"!
Soon after, a very, very minor local politician kinda sorta admitted he was the one behind the drug-testing policy. Why am I not surprised it was him? Of course, it makes him eligible for impeachment for violating the Constitution he swore or affirmed he would uphold.
By the way, I'm not leaving town over this, despite what they suggested.
Posted by Bandit at 10:41 PM
As long as the Senate is full of America-hating fucks like David Perdue who support rogue regimes like that in Singapore, it's our duty to support governments like that of Germany when they crack down on hate group recruitment.
German officials say Facebook isn't doing enough to stop recruitment by hate groups. They say Facepoo could be in for some steep fines unless they act soon.
Good. I'm glad Germany is stepping up where America has failed.
This effort comes as hate groups and fake news threaten to upend the upcoming German elections.
Posted by Bandit at 8:59 PM
Here's a national story with a Tri-State connection!
In a story that should surprise absolutely nobody who has noticed how much The Media has favored the criminal Donald Trump, it turns out the Trump campaign struck a deal for favorable coverage from the far-right Sinclair Broadcast Group - which owns WKRC-TV, Cincinnati's very own Channel 12. Sinclair acquired Channel 12 in 2012 - in a deal rubber-stamped by the FCC and whose significance was virtually ignored.
Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner admitted to the deal between the Trump campaign and Sinclair. He said the deal meant Sinclair stations would run full Trump interviews in exchange for better access to the campaign. A Trump spokesperson said the campaign worked with other media companies too.
In 2014, the Washington Post reported that Sinclair required its stations to run "news" stories criticizing President Obama's policies and promoting the ideas of right-wing think tanks. That revelation came after crew members from Sinclair's Baltimore station barged into an Occupy tent and created a scene.
Posted by Bandit at 11:42 AM
Thursday, December 15, 2016
This is outright fascism. There's just no other word for it.
At most jobs that don't require at least some college, you're allowed to work when you're 16. Most of these are low-paying service jobs like fast food - which are among the workplaces that most desperately need labor unions.
But some right-wing fartpipe in Texas wants to gut the constitutional right to unionize by requiring workers under 18 to get parental permission before joining the union. If this bill passes, workers as young as 14 will be able to enter an employment agreement without parental consent - but they'll need parental consent to unionize.
Even in America, teenagers do get injured - even killed - on the job. But the alt-right thinks young people need to be protected from unions - not from workplace safety hazards.
The bill's supporters say the bill "protects parental rights." No it doesn't. There's no "right" for parents to treat children as property.
On the other hand, the percentage of young workers represented by a union has been increasing steadily for the past several years. If this continues, it could reverse the Far Right's catatonic attacks against organized labor.
Posted by Bandit at 2:22 PM
Thursday, December 8, 2016
Newt Gingrich - the Nazi who hired a Hitler apologist as House historian - opened his ugly mouth again.
Yesterday was the 75th anniversary of Japan's bombing of Pearl Harbor. To commemorate the attack, Gingrich posted this on his Twitter feed:
"75 years ago the Japanese displayed professional brilliance and technological power launching surprises from Hawaii to the Philippines"
Thousands of Americans were killed or wounded at Pearl Harbor, and the elder statesman of Republican fascism praised the bombing.
You picked him, media.
Posted by Bandit at 10:14 PM
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
This is primarily a political blog, but this is something personal I need to have a chitchat about.
In the course of only an hour back in August, I went from being a sad sack of a man to acting like an overconfident teenager. All because of one funny story.
You might have to stop me. I overcompensated, and it might not be healthy. Myself and another individual are feeding off of each other, and we might have to stop. It was great for a while, but now I'm not so sure.
Maybe I'd feel better about this if I had validation from other people. I almost feel like I'm acting cooler than I really am. I'm not absolutely sure, because after all, I am mighty cool. It could simply be teenage rebellion, except I'm 43.
If you know I'm cool, please authenticate my coolness. It'll make me feel so much better. But if you know I'm not, break it to me gently. I'll come to terms with it.
Think. Do. Be.
Posted by Bandit at 11:20 PM
Friday, December 2, 2016
Isn't it strange how the last poll I saw of Michigan prior to the "election" had Hillary Clinton leading the state by 20 points, but Donald Trump ended up winning it?
Here's a case out of Michigan that might shed some light on election fraud in the Wolverine State. Brandon Hall - a Trump staffer - has just been convicted of 10 counts of election fraud. Now he may face 5 years in prison. Back in 2012, Hall - along with Republican activist Zachary Savage - forged signatures on petition forms supporting a judicial candidate. But Savage received immunity in exchange for testifying against Hall.
Hall had served on his local school board, but he had to quit when he was convicted of stealing from a school fundraiser. So why did the Trump campaign and the Michigan GOP hire him after that? And why did they hire him while the election fraud charges were pending?
Posted by Bandit at 9:46 AM
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Even the decidedly pro-Trump Cincinnati Enquirer covered the incident last night in which 2 armed Trumpthugs tried to crash a meeting at the Covington library...
For the record, I left before the second man showed up. I didn't see the first man openly carrying, but others say they both did, and I believe they did.
Also, others have pointed out that pretty much every library has a sign declaring that it's a felony to bring in a gun. I didn't notice a sign at this libe, but then again, this was also the first library I ever caught censoring my website.
Posted by Bandit at 1:41 PM