Have no fear, the May ish is here!

People wasted gum and didn't think it was funny.

You can read all about it in the latest ish of The Last Word! (Where else?) This ish also talks about a Trumpthug's public meltdown on Fountain Square, not to mention these other important stories...

• A dumb tobacco ad.

• People trying to flush their eyeglasses down the toilet.

• Buying ruined books off Amazon.

• C-3PO's genitalia.

• A racist politician impersonating someone of the opposite sex.

• A giant gumball invading my old high school.

• A tribute to WCLU.

• Chuck E. Cheese's butchering song lyrics.

• YouTube's revival of 'Electric Company' music.

• And more!

This ish has a good gum-to-noise ratio too! So point your pooper here to read the latest edition of The Last Word...

https://www.scribd.com/document/346772926/The-Last-Word-5-2017

If that doesn't work, peep here...

http://bunkerblast.info/lastword/lw1705.pdf

Transylvania attacker spares Republicans

Nineteen-year-old Mitchell Adkins of Cincinnati went on a stabbing rampage today at a coffee shop at Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky. But he spared one group: Republicans.

The machete-wielding maniac yelled something about a "day of reckoning" and asked customers about their political leanings. Upon discovering that a customer was a Republican, Adkins assured her, "You are safe."

Adkins has now been charged with assault and wanton endangerment for his politically motivated attack against anyone who is not a Republican.

As it turns out, Adkins is a former Transylvania student who once wrote an article whining about the university "discriminating" against him for being conservative. He claimed that having to hear views different from his own caused him to drop out of this school and landed him in a mental institution.

(Source: http://www.kentucky.com/news/local/crime/article147344794.html)

Another celebrity look-alike

I've just been informed that a Richard Branson look-alike was sighted on the Royal Mile.

Pikeville passes law to appease racist rally

I get it. Free speech. I know city officials in Pikeville, Kentucky, can't legally stop a white supremacist group from Michigan from stampeding into town to hold a rally tomorrow.

Yet - strangely - free speech doesn't seem to apply to antiracists who oppose the rally's message. The city has just passed an emergency ordinance banning the wearing of masks. The law is targeted at antiracists who often wear masks while rallying against right-wing events.

Pikeville officials fell over themselves to show what First Amendment champions they are by allowing the rally - yet they won't allow counterprotesters to wear masks? The Lexington Herald-Leader reports there's "a concern in Pikeville because there has been information circulating on social media that anti-racists will protest the white nationalist rally." Shouldn't the concern be the trouble started by the racists, not their opponents? Indeed, a group called Anti-Racist Action reports that their members wear masks because racists had been photographing them so they could later hunt them down and attack them.

This is a classic case of "free speech for me, not for thee", but I'm shocked that city officials would be so flagrant about favoring organizations that are openly racist.

(Source: http://www.kentucky.com/news/state/article147174224.html)

Man who shot Black Lives Matter activists gets 15 years

Even for the Far Right, crime doesn't always pay.

Back in 2015, Allen Scarsella of Bloomington, Minnesota - a man known for sending out racist text messages - opened fire on a Black Lives Matter event in Minneapolis. The shooting wounded 5 men. This terrorist attack was largely ignored by the right-wing media.

Now Scarsella has been sentenced to 15 years and 2 months in prison for assault and riot charges stemming from the attack. Prosecutors wanted 20 years, but we all know right-wing terrorists are almost never punished that severely - seeing how they're special and privileged. If he serves all 15 years, he'll be younger when he gets released than I am now.

There's no doubt that he intended to murder as many Black Lives Matter activists as possible. He should have been charged with attempted murder - not mere assault.

People bunkerooed in Scotland

I've never been to Scotland, but I'm missing a lot of hilarious stuff!

I've just been told that an Ann Coulter look-alike was sighted at Edinburgh Castle. Meanwhile, a boy who was about 8 years old ripped an LAP bunker blast! Later, some woman bubbled on the Royal Mile.

Kentucky city wastes time on stupid shit

Right-wing legislators in Kentucky are trying to legalize hate crimes and wage theft - yet Kentucky communities are allowed to overregulate everything else.

The city of Richmond, Kentucky, is trying to fine the owner of a house because there's 4 university students living there as roommates. You see, Richmond has an ordinance banning more than 2 unrelated people from sharing a home in areas zoned as single-family residential.

With housing costs going through the roof, the city actually enforces this prohibition?

Interesting how the Tea Party types screaming about excessive regulation fall suspiciously silent about cases like this.

(Source: http://www.richmondregister.com/news/stratford-homeowner-agrees-to-comply-with-city-by-may/article_a7187cf2-2711-11e7-b8ed-2fc00d189ad1.html)

Sandy Springs, Inc.

Some of you may know that the fascist Tom Price's old U.S. House seat in Georgia is being seriously contested in a June runoff - and it may even be a likely Democratic pick-up. But there's no doubt that progress in this area north of Atlanta has been gunked up by the politics that gave it one of the strangest municipalities in America of any significant size.

In terms of administration, Sandy Springs, Georgia, has one of the most unusual features of any city: privatization of almost all public services. The now-defunct nearby city of Chattahoochee Plantation though was just as weird.

Usually, right-wingers try to block people from banding together for a positive purpose. For instance, they're militantly opposed to labor unions. Incorporating a city is sort of like the people's union. But right-wingers support incorporating cities as long as it's for unliberal purposes. Texas, for example, even specifically encourages cities to incorporate for such reasons. Georgia allowed Chattahoochee Plantation to incorporate back in 1961. The only reason was to block Atlanta from expanding into Cobb County.

Why were some people so fearful of being annexed by Atlanta? Let's be honest here. The Incorporation of Chattahoochee Plantation was motivated by racism. It's not the only city to incorporate to block annexation by another city because of racism - I believe a small suburb in my area incorporated for the same reason - but what's unusual in this case was the town's layout. The so-called city was 30 miles long - but only 10 feet wide. Hardly anyone actually lived within the city's limits, since it was too narrow for a house. The city wasn't formed by its own residents - since there were hardly any - but by other folks in Cobb County who just wanted to box Atlanta in.

Chattahoochee Plantation never actually formed a government. It was just a line on a map - though it was so narrow that I can't find it on USGS maps of that era.

This brings us to the story of Sandy Springs. By the 1980s, Sandy Springs - an unincorporated suburban area in Fulton County - was home to tens of thousands of people. This area was also hostile to annexation by Atlanta. So people there tried to be annexed by Chattahoochee Plantation instead.

That effort fell apart, and Chattahoochee Plantation was later forced to give up its incorporation. But lo! Sandy Springs was finally able to incorporate in 2005, when it had 90,000 people and its own skyscrapers. One of the reasons for this incorporation was so the rich could have their own city - for the county had been rightly using revenues from this area to fund poorer areas. Although incorporation would adversely affect the rest of the county, voters in those areas were not allowed to vote on the incorporation referendum.

What makes Sandy Springs so unusual is its failed model of privatizing pretty much everything. Some cities farm out certain services like garbage collection, but in Sandy Springs, practically the whole city government is privately run. In other words, it's not even a city. It's a corporation.

The City Hall is in an industrial park, and very few of its employees are on the public payroll. If you apply for a business license, you have to talk to people from a foreign company - not City Hall. The 911 dispatch center is run out of a private firm in New Jersey. Even the city's court is mostly privatized. Local officials call it "the model." Kind of like "the leader." It's not just a corporation, but a mind control program.

Sandy Springs has exported this greed-driven system to a few other places - such as Dana Plato's hometown of Maywood, California, which fired all municipal workers. One Maywood city official says this actually drove up the cost of running the city - and ruined the quality of public services.

But a lot of public officials just won't learn, I guess.

Meanwhile, Fulton County's poorest areas are being robbed to pad the coffers of businesses hired by Sandy Springs.

Air travel celeb look-alikes continue

After last month's discomforts, I don't intend on flying a commercial airliner ever again, but people e-mail me saying they see celebrity look-alikes on flights that they take.

I've just been informed that on an international flight from Detroit to Amsterdam, a flight attendant resembling Carlton Banks, the conservative Ivy Leaguer on The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, was sighted.

On this same flight, someone wafted a foul SBD bunker blast.

Tim Nolan charged with human trafficking

Remember Tim Nolan?

Nolan is a former Campbell County judge who later disgraced himself by joining the Tea Party and becoming one of its most active members. He filed a frivolous lawsuit trying to close the Newport courthouse. This past November, he managed to get elected to the Campbell County school board - to the delight of those who long for the days when the school system was the area's laughingstock. GOPFacts.org accuses Nolan of being "one of Campbell County's most vehement racists" - resulting in Nolan suing the website. He also headed Donald Trump's Campbell County campaign.

Now Nolan has been charged with human trafficking and unlawful transaction with a minor. Authorities say Nolan, 70, induced a minor into illicit sexual activity and gave alcohol to the minor.

If the allegations are true, this continues a long string of serious crime by the local Tea Party, which also includes the Tea Party's drug dealing.

A person bunkerooed twice at Kroger

Today at the Kroger in Bellevue, I was waiting at the end of the checkout lane for our grocery order to be completed, and I detected the powerful scent of an SBD bunker blast. Twice! There are several possible suspects.

Campbell County Schools finally realize a mistake they made

I grew up on the mean streets of Highland Heights, Kentucky, and I know the '90s were the low point in the history of the Campbell County Schools. Among other problems, the school district engaged in a pattern of closing and consolidating schools - forcing most students to travel miles further each day to receive the education they were entitled to.

Now the school system finally realizes it was a mistake to merge its 2 middle schools back then. I knew firsthand that one of them was already too crowded. But school officials are finally admitting that the merged middle school is "aging" (as it occupies the old high school building).

Couldn't they see this coming 25 years ago?

Now the school system needs 2 new middle schools - which it already had before they gunked everything up. They want to build one of them in the northern end of the district - which has most of the population, but is now furthest from any schools.

At least the Campbell County Schools are finally coming to their senses about this. It's a shame they have such baggage left behind by the Footloosers.

1,000 XP in the bank

I went to the anti-Trump rally on Fountain Square today - which most of the right-wing media ignored even though it was bigger than Tea Party rallies that were held there.

It's already April, but for the first time this calendar year, I got in a confrontation in person with a Trumpthug. He verbally threatened me, and it almost erupted into a brawl.

In case you're the one other person out there who's paying attention to my game of Dungeons & Dragons & Donald, that's 1,000 experience points for me. I bet you're sorry you missed it! Didn't even have to melt stone or pick locks!

Next ish of The Last Word will discuss this event in greater detail. I may need a week or two to hone the wit that is necessary to regale you with today's rally.

Virginia court dismisses frivolous antigay lawsuit

See, this whole democracy thing isn't finished off after all.

In a blow against the Far Right, the Virginia Supreme Court has tossed a frivolous lawsuit filed against the Fairfax County school system by the fascist Traditional Values Coalition. A right-wing student there had sued the school system because he disagreed with its decision to add sexual orientation and gender identity to its nondiscrimination policy.

The student claimed that the nondiscrimination policy caused him "general distress." It's "distress" that his school district won't discriminate? That's his definition of "distress"? What a little crybaby.

The court needs to heavily fine the Traditional Values Coalition for bringing such a silly lawsuit. We also need a law that says lawyers who file suits like this can't collect fees. Suits like this gunk up the court system, and it's part of the reason I had such a hard time serving my largely successful suit against people who owed me money.

Mount Auburn! Corryville! It's a great place to start (and fart)!

Being the coolster I am, I have 15 brand bippus-bustin' new Roads Scholaring photos and videos from Cincinnati. Know what you're gonna do? Peep 'em...

http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/cinnorth17.html

Alabama governor arrested

How often do governors actually get arrested?

I'm not saying there aren't a lot of governors who deserve it, but how often does it actually happen?

Today, Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley was arrested - and he resigned from office - because of charges resulting from an affair with an aide. The 74-year-old Republican was arrested on 2 misdemeanor charges regarding disclosure of campaign information. He promptly pleaded guilty to the charges. He was fined and sentenced to community service.

Bye.

I told Far Right to "get a job!"

For years, I've heard that some silly clods keep harassing Planned Parenthood in Cincinnati, but I don't think I've ever seen any people out there until today. Then again, I haven't been to Mount Auburn much in years.

Today, I went Roads Scholaring in Mount Auburn and Corryville. I happened to bike past the Planned Parenthood clinic, and there were people out there protesting it.

I can respect those who oppose abortion on human rights grounds. I personally do not endorse abortion. I am pro-choice, but I personally support life. On the other hand, I have zero reverence for people who loiter outside Planned Parenthood and call its clients "murderers" and "baby killers." That's exactly what the protesters were doing. They were blocking the sidewalk too.

So I yelled at them, "Get a job!" Twice.

The second time, one of them yelled back, "This is a job!"

My reply: "No it ain't! Get a real job!"

For these control freaks to be out there on a weekday during normal business hours proves they don't actually work - unless some Tea Party group is paying them to be out there, which doesn't exactly constitute real work.

America's biggest baby killers are usually control freaks like this. They're the ones who have shredded economic security programs for Americans from infancy to old age. These cutbacks have killed innocent people. You can't call yourself pro-life if you support right-wing economic policies.

On a less serious note, I later rested at a bench on Short Vine right after getting lunch at Kroger, and a middle-aged man who was jogging up the street ripped a loud-and-proud bunker blast. He was behind a sign while the LAP was released, so he thought I wouldn't notice.

Massachusetts wouldn't properly investigate abuse allegations

HEAL has been going after this scandal for years, but only now is it getting more coverage.

Massachusetts officials haven't been properly investigating claims of abuse in daycares and residential "treatment" centers. Regulators at the Department of Early Education and Care were phoning in investigations instead of visiting the facilities in person.

HEAL had been warning of the problem since 2014, but the department still didn't take action. In fact, the agency still conducts many of these probes by phone.

WFXT-TV in Boston is actually covering this story a little bit...

http://www.fox25boston.com/news/fox25-investigates-state-warned-years-ago-about-school-investigators-phoning-it-in/509534221

Senate confirms known fascist to Supreme Court

In the hopes that nobody will notice because of the illegal bombing of Syria, Senate Republicans have just confirmed Neil Gorsuch - founder of the Fascism Forever Club - to the Supreme Court.

At least Neil Garbage replaces another conservative Justice, instead of a more liberal Justice.

Trump tries to start war with Syria

Did Donald Trump really just do something stupid like firing 50 Tomahawk missiles at a Syrian air base without congressional approval?

Scholarin' in the air...Every sight and every sound...

Some of you know that I attended a human rights conference in Washington, D.C., last month. The photos I got from this trip count as March's Roads Scholaring.

Best all, a majority of these photos are aerial! That's because I was required to fly on a commercial airliner!

So peep, weep, and oggle-beep...

http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/dc17a.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/dc17b.html

Judge rules Trump incited violence at Kentucky rally

Remember a year ago when Donald Trump's thugs assaulted protesters at a Louisville rally? And remember how 3 victims of these attacks sued the Donald personally for it?

Now a federal judge has ruled that the lawsuit may proceed. U.S. District Judge David Hale agreed with the plaintiffs' claim that Trump incited followers to assault them. Hale denied most of Trump's motion to dismiss the complaint, calling Trump's incitement "particularly reckless."

But the judge disagreed that Trump himself should be held "vicariously liable", because the assailants weren't actually employed by Trump's idiotic campaign.

(Source: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/trump-rally-violence-court-incitemet)