Khomeini goes Meijering

I've just been informed that an Ayatollah Khomeini look-alike was sighted at Meijer.

Have no fear, the October ish is here!

A big ol' Last Word bunkeroo wafts your way, as we've published our October edition!

This ish talks about all sorts of neet poo: the destruction of mugs at a yard sale, right-wing Facebook sockpuppets, shooting out saliva in an arc, a forked tongue making one unable to blow a bubble, plagiarizing the Knack, and more! It's not sold in any store!

So point your pooper here for this monthly jaunt into the coolster world...

https://www.scribd.com/document/359898932/The-Last-Word-10-2017

If you can't read it on Scribd, read it here...

http://bunkerblast.info/lastword/lw1710.pdf

Ploptoberfest goes Krogering

I went to Ploptoberfest in Newport today, and it was pretty much completely dead.

I did notice a plopping though. I went into the portable restroom and noticed someone had put a plastic grocery bag in the toilet. I assume it was from Kroger, because it was beige.

People need to be more creative with ploppings like they used to be. On the other hand, we should be thankful for every plopping, since toilets aren't designed to accept plastic bags.

Enquirer says "farted"

It's always a barrel of baste when a regular newspaper like the Cincinnati Enquirer says "farted."

I read with interest an Enquirer piece about how a Cincinnati high school keeps suspending students for just about any minor infraction imaginable. I've covered the failures of "zero tolerance" and the school-to-prison pipeline for years. You already know America's schools have become a police state.

What caught my eye was this sentence in the article: "In another case, a senior at West was suspended for five days for overreacting when another student farted." The Enquirer didn't say the student "passed gas" or "broke wind." The newspaper said the student "farted."

Here's the article...

http://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/education/2017/09/19/why-does-west-high-kick-out-so-many-kids/676319001

Moe Howard goes Krogering

Today I saw one of the funniest celebrity look-alikes I've seen in a long time!

I went to Kroger in Bellevue, and I saw a Moe Howard look-alike! I was in the canned foods aisle and couldn't stop snickering as Moe pushed his cart up the back aisle!

Cute idea for a law protecting disability benefits

I just came up with a great idea for a law to protect Americans who need disability benefits.

Like Medicaid, disability programs like Supplemental Security Income and Social Security Disability Insurance are earned benefits - not welfare. Even if they were welfare, the government has no right to deny these benefits to those who qualify. Every so often, you'll read an article about how the government's backlog for approving disability claims keeps expanding. What used to take weeks can now take years. It's not because more people are applying. It's because Congress intentionally creates a logjam to try to deny people the benefits they've earned.

I can almost guarantee that one way to make sure this backlog is relieved is to pass a law that says if claims aren't approved within a certain amount of time, the claim is automatically approved. To ensure that no claims are rejected at the last minute, rejected claims would be automatically appealed.

If there's already a law like this, the government sure as hell isn't obeying it.

Such a policy would not only break the logjam but also make sure more people get the benefits they've worked for that they otherwise might not get.

I don't give a damn what the right-wing intelligentsia thinks. If you want to live in a society that won't take care of its most downtrodden people, m-o-v-e MOVE!!!

Kojak look-alike buys Elvis calendar

As a pre-bubbling to Ploptoberfest, I helped my mom with her humongous yard sale both Friday and yesterday. There were actually a couple of celebrity look-alikes at the sale!

On Friday, a Telly Savalas look-alike buyed an antique Elvis calendar. And yesterday, some kid who resembled Barron Trump showed up.

There was a noteworthy mug-smashing incident too, but maybe I'll discuss that in further detail in the next ish.

Cheez-It box plopped at Ploptoberfest

Last night - after a Scholaring - I goed to Oktoberfest in Covington. As you should know by now, I stopped going to the one in Cincinnati because they moved the event and gave it a smaller space and lied about it being smaller.

I call it Ploptoberfest because it has a noble tradition of people putting things in the toilet. I noticed last night that somebody put an apparently empty Cheez-It box in the toilet at the event. As in past years when other relatively large items like phone books were plopped, it leads me to wonder how someone accomplished this, since it would seem suspicious for someone to walk around carrying a Cheez-It box all day before the ploppage occurred.

Other than that, the festival was boring, so I didn't stay very late.

Wisconsin TV station runs right-wing uniform story

Madison, Wisconsin, may be one of the most liberal major cities in America, but - like San Francisco or Portland - the media there sounds like they've just been copying the Tea Party propaganda playbook.

One of the worst offenders in Madison is WMTV-TV. It's bad enough that WMTV wasted time on an idiotic puff piece about cosmetic dentistry in which the most common word was um. Now WMTV has run a one-sided piece praising public school uniforms. The segment made no mention of the fact that it's unconstitutional for public schools to require uniforms.

Shame on you, WMTV.

Unfortunately, the FCC would rather shut down real stations like Tantrum 95.7 than go after propaganda outlets like WMTV.

Miami threatens to institutionalize homeless

Because Florida has a history of giving Constitution-hating fucks free rein, officials in Miami are trying to use the unconstitutional Baker Act to illegally institutionalize an estimated 1,100 homeless.

As the hurricane threatens the state, residents are being ordered to leave - now. But most aren't being threatened with being institutionalized. Only the homeless are facing that amount of oppression, as the city is threatening to hold them against their will for a mental health evaluation.

Some nobody with the city boasted, "We're going out and every single homeless person who is unwilling to come off the street, we are likely going to involuntarily Baker Act them." At least 6 people have already been detained under this policy.

And people wonder why we say America has become a police state.

(Source: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/storm/ap-exclusive-miami-homeless-removed-against-their-will)

Another successful Pepsi smuggling

I will smuggle soda into Riverfest because I'm an American.

We went down to see the Riverfest fireworks last night. As I do year after year, I smuggled a soft drink into the fest. I wore pants with big pockets so a Pepsi bottle would fit therein. This is a Really Big Deal because - since the stunning police state expansion of the mid-'90s - bringing beverages to the festival has been a no-no, because they want people to pay inflated prices to vendors there. Bringing in soft drinks used to be allowed. Not anymore.

I've never seen authorities hassle people as much about it as I did last night. We saw them stopping a young woman who tried bringing in a soda from Frisch's Big Boy. A greed-driven, nonsensical rule from over 20 years ago is being enforced with unprecedented gusto.

Is that ridiculous or what?

But nobody bubbled (unlike last year, when a person did a Wright brothers).

Duke to increase rates by 17.4%

Duke Energy - the electric utility monopoly for most of the area - has asked Kentucky regulators for yet another rate increase. This one will increase rates for residential customers by a whopping 17.4%.

It's almost a foregone conclusion that the rate hike will be rubber-stamped. When are rate increases ever not rubber-stamped?

Duke itself is lying about the increase. The company claims this is the first rate hike in 11 years. Wrong. They raised rates after the Blackout of 2008 to cover lost revenues from people not having electricity for days. In other words, they forced customers to pay for a product they didn't receive. Duke also claims that even with the latest rate hike, Duke's rates are still cheaper than the national average. That's another outright lie. Duke is one of the most expensive electric providers in America.

Maybe if the power didn't mysteriously go out all the time even in fine weather, more folks might be willing to tolerate paying such exorbitant electric rates.

There ought to be a law. In addition to the usual regulatory process, there should be a law that requires two-thirds approval of each house of the state legislature before electric utilities may raise rates. This would be a good law, but an even better plan would be - because most electric providers are monopolies - making these utilities publicly owned entities, as they already are in some American communities.

Bevin wasted $1.2M on pension study

Wasted!

Matt Bevin and the rest of Kentucky's Republican town criers have been whining for years about pensions for public employees costing the taxpayers too much. Now that the right-wing plan to slash workers' pensions has been unveiled, it turns out this study cost taxpayers some $1.2 million.

The Bevin thugocracy hired an out-of-state firm to devise the plan. Originally, the company was to be paid $556,300 in taxpayer funds. Now the cost of the study has doubled in only 10 months. It may yet increase even more.

Now, Bevin is squandering taxpayer money hiring a law firm to develop tax "reform" plans.

This is supposed to be the party of fiscal responsibility? Bevin has spent more of your money than he's saved. You don't get to complain that state workers make too much money and then spend many times as much trying to prevent it.

All that taxpayer money, wastage bastage! It's utterly wosted.

(Source: http://www.kentucky.com/news/politics-government/article170419437.html)