Meet the twelvos

What can you say when the other side gets outvoted so spectacularly that you can almost smell their tears?

I don't know, because we've run out of tears ourselves from having to fight them for so long. Trust me, if I thought 15 years ago that America's PUBLIC schools would start requiring uniforms, I would have run off to hide in the woods forever with no Internet and only berries for food.

But at long last, this story proves what happens when a public school at least makes an effort to conduct an accurate survey of the school community.

In Boonville, Indiana - not exactly an ultraliberal town - school officials sent out a survey about whether to require students to wear uniforms. Well, the results are in, and uniforms won the support of only - get this - 12%.

That's right - 12%! Nothing more. I've long guessed that's about how much support mandatory public school uniforms would receive in a scientific nationwide poll.

From now on, let's just call the uniform supporters the 12-percenters - or simply the twelvos.

They should be made to walk around every day with each digit of the number 12 painted on each side of their face. They should have all their shirts emblazoned with the number 12. They should be made to wear size 12 underpants. They should be obligated to scribble the number 12 on the backs of their hands and greet each other by saying, "12 out of 12!"

Then they'll know what it's like being forced to wear something they abhor.

There's some serious principles involved here. If a worker doesn't like a uniform, you can fire them. If an athlete doesn't like a uniform, you can kick them off the team. But school is compulsory. You can't just tell students to stay home if they don't like the uniform.

And it's not just students who despise the uniform. After a new report revealed that the school uniform industry was exploiting sweatshop labor, I'm sure a lot of people don't like it. Yet some schools continue to require families to buy uniforms made in abusive sweatshops. (Maybe it's because schools themselves are abusive sweatshops?)

Will the twelvos shut up following their amazing 12% support? Don't hold your breath. That genie was let out of the bottle years ago, and unfortunately, we're stuck with their babblings.

(Source: http://www.tristate-media.com/articles/2009/03/28/warricknews/news/doc49cba5fbc441d271797986.txt)