Waaah! I'm gonna sue bubble gum! ('Sesame Street' Wednesday)

Quick! Call the Alliance Defense Fund! I have an idea for a frivolous lawsuit!

Back in the days when people still gave a shit about MySpace (an era that may return, thanks to Facebook's scumbaggery), I posted there about how floored I was to find a certain forgotten 'Sesame Street' animation posted on YouTube. I am of course referring to the "5 pounds of bubble gum, please" sketch, which dates from the '70s or earlier:



(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CydzJ1rz1Y4)

Because the mere existence of bubble gum is funny, that was one of my favorite 'Sesame Street' segments when I was about 5. It mentioned bubble gum, you see, and therefore it was funny.

But now that I'm older, I have more serious concerns. Can 'Sesame Street' and the entire bubble gum industry be sued for false advertising? I wonder if any kids who saw that sketch thought they could fly if they blew a bubble that was big enough - and if they sued when they discovered they couldn't.

Notice also that the guy in the aviator goggles took the 5 pounds of gumballs without paying for it - and that the clerk looks like Mr. Wilson from the Dennis The Menace comic strip. Maybe the lesson here is that stealing gum is just fine if the victim of this theft is a Mr. Wilson look-alike in an Uncle Al hat.

As for the lawsuit, anybody should be able to see that the buyer of the gum in this skit has special properties that no other human being has. For instance, when he consumes the bubble gum that rests on the scale, he is able to levitate as he chomps down the pile of gumballs.

Maybe Congress needs to stem the looming litigation by passing the No Suing Over 40-Year-Old 'Sesame Street' Animations Act. Congress is always trying to ban lawsuits that are perfectly legit, so why not?