The Guy Who Looks Like David Bowie

I grew up on MTV, so I saw the late David Bowie's videos quite a bit.

In high school, there was some sort of counselor or social worker who strongly resembled Mr. Bowie. So I always called him The Guy Who Looks Like David Bowie - but only behind his back, never to his face.

He knew he looked like David Bowie, but just never admitted it and hoped nobody would notice. But I think I was the first student to notice. I remember snickering to classmates that he looked like David Bowie, and they laughed in agreement.

But one day, I kept acting up in class, because this school was just so futile. Then The Guy Who Looks Like David Bowie popped into the room. I greeted him by putting on my best radio voice and mimicking a concert announcer.

I declared, "Ladies and gentlemen..." The social worker began getting an uneasy look on his face, as if he knew what was coming.

I continued, "Now, right here on our stage..." The look of uneasiness grew.

I went on. "It's the electrifying..."

I continued, "The stupendous..."

I doubled down. "The amazing..."

"DAVID BOWIE!!!"

I then started humming the intro to "Modern Love."

It was during the first syllable of "DAVID BOWIE!!!" that The Guy Who Looks Like David Bowie emitted a sigh of defeat. It was at that precise moment that he knew he had lost us all for good. He knew that now everyone would think of him as The Guy Who Looks Like David Bowie.

He tried to keep a game face, but the truth was out: The Guy Who Looks Like David Bowie looked like David Bowie.

From then on, every time he entered the classroom, I'd inevitably hear a student whispering, "It's David Bowie."

That was before I had a college professor who looked like Mick Fleetwood.