All along, along...There were incidents and accidents...

Shh! It's for adults!

One of the most gnawing trends in recent years has been swimming pools that are open to the public but also limit some swimming time to adults only. Pools began doing this because a few grownups whined that letting kids use the pool at those times was hurting their precious little fee-fees.

Even Ziegler Park began doing this (apparently a 3CDC policy). As with many other pools all over America these days, the last 15 minutes of each hour are reserved for adults 18 and older. They call it "adult swim" - as if it's X-rated or something.

Uh, the pool was designed for adults and children alike. Why should anyone give a shit if kids use it? If a pool wants to be family friendly, why do they prohibit kids from using it for 15 minutes of every hour?

When I went to Ziegler Park today, I didn't see any kids committing any major misbehavior. They certainly behaved better than the spoiled brats I went to high school with. Whoever shit the pool was probably only about 2 - not 16 like my high school classmates were when they soiled themselves. One person on the Internet said the real reason for the "adult swim" is to give kids a chance to go to the bathroom so they don't foul the pool. Obviously, that didn't work.

A 2016 article in the Chicago Tribune says the "adult swim" rule is actually illegal - even at a pool that belongs to a private condo complex.

While the pool was being cleaned after the "fecal incident", a funny thought popped into my head. As it was closed for a half-hour, it completely subsumed the 15 minutes that had been scheduled for "adult swim." It kind of serves self-righteous adults right. I can't count how many times my favorite TV shows have been lopped off by sporting events that nobody watches running too long or a breaking news bulletin about the stock market that nobody except rich investors cares about.

The joke's on all the people who demanded an "adult swim" at a pool designed for both kids and grownups.