America is all fucking gone

Only in BushAmerica: It's considered A-OK for spoiled brats to call their classmates nasty names 500 times a day right to their face and slug them in the head. But when someone uses a vulgar slang term only once as an adverb to describe an inanimate object in a private conversation with a family member, it seems like the authorities call in all 4 branches of the Armed Forces and all law enforcement within a 100-mile radius to nab the person.

You see, repeatedly smashing someone in the skull is considered protected speech. Cussing in a private conversation is not, because it might hurt the feelings of the inanimate object being discussed.

In La Marque, Texas, a 28-year-old woman was handcuffed because she was overheard cussing at a Wal-Mart. While strolling through the store looking for batteries, she discovered the batteries were all sold out. So she turned to her mother and said, "They're all fucking gone."

The local assistant fire marshal happened to overhear this discussion. He suddenly popped out from behind a shelf and reportedly warned, "You need to watch your mouth!"

The woman apparently did not know that the man was a firefighter and offered what sounded like a halfhearted apology. (The marshal's lecture was just as rude as the woman's cussing.)

But the marshal continued badgering the woman and finally cuffed her (and checked her for warrants). The woman was charged with disorderly conduct and must now either pay a fine or go to court to challenge the charge.

All this over a little bit of cussing? The woman is 28. She's an adult. Who the hell cares if she cusses in a private conversation? While this sort of language may be taboo for a religious sermon or a children's cartoon, it is found in many of the later collegiate dictionaries.

And if a pack of batteries has its feelings hurt, tough shit.

Naturally, the Free Republic thought police is praising the authorities for going after the woman over something so petty.

(Source: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5942630.html)