Lawn Chair Quarterback: "Today Is Not An Eating Day"

This is not an eating day.

Indeed it isn't.

As the Great Recession heightened under Bush, I invented eating days. Those were days on which I ate - as opposed to those on which I didn't. This proud tradition continues to this very day!

Eating is a basic biological function experienced by humans and many other members of the animal kingdom. It's not just an activity. It's a fundamental right, dammit! But sometimes book royalties and revenues from freelance computer programming and cartography just aren't enough to put vittles on the tray. So we have to be ration babies (to use Homer Simpson's phrase).

Who'd want it any other way? Eating every day would make me a sellout, and who needs that?

Stuff's expensive, ya know.

I could permanently solve this cash flow problem right now if I wanted to. I can do it this instant. You know how I can fix it? By going conservative. If I became right-wing, I would be hired IMMEDIATELY as a commentator by some cable channel, website, or radio network, and I would be awarded a contract worth MILLIONS. That is a FACT.

This despite the fact that there's not even any demand for any more conservative commentators. The field is oversaturated as it is.

But because of life's experiences, I believe what I believe, and I'm not going to sing for my supper. If it means I only make a few hundred a month as a real populist blogger, so be it.

Our latest 'LCQ' explores the New Economy-inspired phenomenon of eating days: