Pennsylvania ploppings prevent pupils pooping

This story is so roll-on-the-floor uproarious that I'm crossposting this piece to both the 'Pail and the long-neglected TNT, so hang on to your face...

According to the Pottsville Republican & Herald, Mahanoy Area High School in Mahanoy City, Pennsylvania, has been overpowered by toilet troubles lately. Vandalism in the boys' restrooms has become so pervasive that the school will now only issue toilet paper by request. One parent spoke out against this new policy of requiring students to visit the office to get toilet paper and sign for it.

"We've had serious destruction to our bathrooms for the past 2 years," the principal said. "We have a case pending with the police where a bathroom down by our gymnasium was absolutely destroyed." He said that "our toilets have been jammed with toilet paper and other papers. And after we took the toilet tissue out of there, people were throwing books." But he added that the new policy has "cut down on the destruction."

There ya have it, peeps. Folks put books in the toilet bowls at school - a full generation after Brossart popularized this pastime. Damn, I feel old! Also, it's unclear what the principal meant by "other papers." Newspapers? Medical records? Baseball cards?

What does this story say about our society? It says that the more things change, the more ploppings stay the same! Ploppings flourished while I was listening to Men At Work records and playing Space Invaders - and ploppings continue in the era of YouTube and Xbox. Hilarity never goes out of style!