It's not for you...

I'm middle-aged, so sooner or later, we need to deal with an elephant in the room that I know you don't want to discuss.

In 5th grade, one of my classmates found the data disk for one of those computer games of the era like Oregon Trail. He asked the teacher, "What's the data disk?" The teacher replied, "It's not for you."

Those are words I wish I could utter even after I'm dead. The problem is this: What if I order something off Amazon or some other website and die before it arrives? There are some items (usually books) I wouldn't mind if family or friends opened - but it's not true of all items. I've gotten items off Amazon that were smart purchases, but I'd be thoroughly humiliated if most friends or family knew I purchased them. Plus, there's no way of knowing an item's embarrassment factor unless it's actually opened.

Therefore - after discussing it with a friend - I've come to a very important and solemn decision. If I order something from a website like Amazon and die before it arrives, the item is to be either returned to its sender or discarded without being opened. I'm very public about some things, but I can also be very private about other matters, and I'm entitled to my privacy even in death.

This shall be considered a binding directive - not just a suggestion. It's just like how my e-mails, computer files, boxed belongings, and other items are private.

I hope to have a long life ahead, but with the shockingly low life expectancy around here, I had to post this.