Where's my kazoo?

Every year, the list of items prohibited at Rip-off-fest gets longer and longer – if they have the event at all.

Rip-off-fest is my name for Riverfest – a so-called festival in Cincinnati. I usually attend the fireworks display each year and smuggle in a soft drink – as beverages are prohibited. I've never been caught, but I once saw a young woman harassed for trying to bring in a soda from Frisch's Big Boy.

This year, the list of banned items includes some bans I've never noticed before. For example, musical instruments are banned. Maybe I'll look for my kazoo later. Balloons and beach balls are banned too. Whistles and tools are also banned.

After I smuggled in Pepsi, last year's Rip-off-fest was a fun little diversion, and we had fine weather. Everyone smiled widely, and a column of mucus even dangled from the nose of a youngster who was approximately 10 years old. It looks like this year we might not be so lucky with the weather. But the weather might not be what keeps people away, as turning the event into a police state might instead be the culprit.