Fuck this...I'm giving away my TV set

Listen to the bleezymouth shit we have to deal with!

Channel 19 - WXIX in Cincinnati - is known as a fleevixmouth operation that wozzes up the whole sky, like a big bolt of lightning (very, very frightening) and strikes us all. It is a pox on the 'Nati landscape and has been so since my youth.

Even in the days of on-air editorials about "the evils of communism" sandwiched between Cocoa Puffs commercials featuring people blowing giant bubbles of pink gum that burst and cover their glasses (in defiance of the Allowed Cloud issued by the eye doctor with many arms who plays a corporate jingle on an electric piano), 19...19...19 shot shitloads clear up its own tower that (figuratively speaking) fell back down and polluted Mill Creek like nothing before it ever did.

On a lighter note, believe me, bubble gum does burst. And when it bursts on one's glasses, it can be quite difficult to remove. But comical nonetheless, because it's gum, which is always funny.

As for 19...19...19 (thanks, broadcast folks, for reminding me of that jingle), the worst things in life are on 19...19...19 (wasn't that another of their jingles?). Trust me, it's shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

I know of only one show on any channel that's still worthwhile and still has new episodes, and that's 'The Simpsons'. But the past couple weeks, Fox and Channel 19 have both been giant Allowed Clouds that - like the beezlydolfs they are - have prevented me from watching it, even though they were brand sparkling new shows. Last week, the liars at Fux lied like the lying liars they are and said it would be on at 8 PM. But no. They were showing NASCAR instead, and still kept boasting that 'The Simps' would be on at 8. But it was after 8, and still no 'Simps'. So I shut the TV off. Later I found out Fux had delayed 'The Simps', but I missed it because the Fuxfux led me to believe it wouldn't be on at all.

Now 19...19...19 pulled a zizzbogey this week. The UC basketball game - always a target of cult-like worship by 19...19...19 - was scheduled for the middle of the day yesterday. But they delayed the game until today at 6 PM because of weather.

What's wrong? Is the hoops team such a bunch of weaklings that they can't play if it's snowing outside? Mind you, the game was in an indoor arena. Are they little babies or something? Do the little babies need their bottle? A rattle? Do they need their diaper changed???

Yeah, that's it! They all pissed and shit in their b-ball shorts, so now the little babies need a change! Aaaww!

So while all zero viewers of the game got to watch a bunch of college-age guys run around the court with pee and poop oozing down onto their socks, and sliding around on the gooey mess, I was getting ready for a spang-new 'Simps'! But thanks to the noxawoxawoxawoxalism of the Far Rightists at 19...19...19, it was not to be!

Why? Because the game ran over its 2-hour time slot. That's why. And the baste-caked talons of Channel 19 joined my living room already in progress.

This is it. Totally, completely it. First of all, since the TV set is obviously useless to me now, because the Allowed Cloud won't let me watch my 'Simps', I'm going to have someone take the set off my hands. I know nobody's going to pay for the set, because it's a 25-year-old set that is not compatible with DVD players and won't be able to pick up anything after the digital conversion anyway. It's a damn good set, but it's of no damn use to me when all I can pick up is a basketball game being played on a court coated with feces and urine.

In the meantime, whoever made the decision to run over 'The Simpsons' with a fucking dumb game nobody gives a farting damn about needs to undergo the basketball treatment. They should be made to shove a deflated basketball into their rectum, while the ball is slowly inflated with a pump until it ruptures. This torture would be preferable having to deal with 19...19...19 another minute.

I'm also asking why there aren't zillions of people in this area who are a few years older than me who remember the "19...19...19" jingle more clearly and, because of this, go around singing "19...19...19" every time the number 19 is mentioned. Free your minds, people, and the Channel 19 jingle will follow. No big deal, but just a thought.

How do we deal with the Allowed Cloud fuckery of WXIX and Fux? I have a good mind to bring Tantrum 95.7's transmitter out of retirement and seeing if the frequency range goes up into the audio portion of UHF television. Then I would override Channel 19's audio by singing what I think of the station's right-wing fartpipery: "Peevoglums...Badeedle deedle deedle...Peevoglums!"

But since the FCC gives a license to Channel 19 but not to someone like me who would make better use of the radio spectrum, there's an Allowed Cloud against that too! The Allowed Cloud really is on a roll, isn't it?