Comedian George Carlin dies

Legendary comedian George Carlin died yesterday of heart failure at the age of 71.

Carlin of course was the man who gave us the uproarious "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine, which was pivotal in defining radio and TV "indecency."

As a tribute, I'm regaling you with my "Seven Made-Up Words" routine. These are words that are not vulgar but were designed to substitute for words that are. I coined these terms to evade library censorship filters.

It's hard to believe that in the late '90s the country was so prudish that I had to start making up words because I wasn't allowed saying the words that were fit to describe the situation. Mad magazine did this in the 1950s to get around comic book censorship codes, but I had to do it 40 years later because of Newt Gingrich being such a Hitler.

My "Seven Made-Up" words are:

beezlydolf
beezweezer
noxawoxawoxawoxalism
peevoglums
pleezixmouth
vivvlyvoovler
wozzfozz

You're probably wondering why 'skeezewocker' isn't included. That's because I didn't invent this term. I first saw it used by an Internet troll in the mid-'90s in a post assailing a foreign dictator.

George Carlin was cool.