My n00 drug testing plan lololololol!

To counter the right-wing cultism on other websites, here's my big new super-duper idea. It's not to be taken seriously, of course, but I'm just posting this for illustrative purposes.

I was forced to take a drug test once, and I'm less than pleased by this fact. (For the record, I was clean, but it's the principle that matters.) Also, from the mid-'90s until it was ruled unconstitutional, many Americans who received certain government benefits were also forced to take drug tests.

This policy was tossed out because it violated the Fourth Amendment's provision against unreasonable searches and seizures - but the damage caused by forced drug tests is done.

How about if we start forcing CEO's of banks that get government bailout money to take a drug test? Make 'em pee right in a cup, and have a member of Congress chosen at random drink it to see if they get high.

Wouldn't that violate the Fourth Amendment? Well, no. At least not if we pull the same type of semantic maneuvering that our cheery lawmakers do. We can make it so accepting bailout money is implied consent to be tested.

Kentucky legislators have actually passed a law effectively saying that simply applying for a driver's license constitutes implied consent to have your school release your academic records - in violation of federal law.

Lawmakers try to circumvent the law in order to "get" those who got in minor trouble at school, so why can't we do the same to powerful bank execs? Because we respect the Constitution, that's why.

It's the duty of each and every one of us to build a society based on the human rights that are enshrined in the Constitution. I know there's a BushAmerica bandwagon that says otherwise, but we as human beings are expected by nature to have the courage to keep our rights.