There's a tear in their beards...

My fact-finding mission in North Carolina and Virginia lasted less than 3 days, but I'm still recovering from it! I earned it, and I was going to make the best of it!

When I got to my motel near Lynchburg, Virginia, I found it fair to protest the Far Right. Everything in Lynchburg is named after Jerry Falwell. Even one of the main roads is called Jerry Falwell Parkway for its most infamous citizen. Also, it appears as if Lynchburg may be the biggest city in America - not counting suburbs and consolidated city-counties - that McCain won. (I'm talking the city here, not the whole metropolitan area. Lynchburg is an independent city, but it's city-sized, so I don't count it as a consolidated city-county.)

So if something's gotta get ru, why not make sure it happens in Lynchburg?

At this inn, I noticed that the cover of the phone book was graced with an ad for a local right-wing talk radio station. The ad featured photos of Bill O'Reilly and Dr. Laura - some of the most flatulent forces of right-wing hypocrisy.

It was immediately clear what to do. I grabbed my pen and drew mustaches and beards on both:


Later it occurred to me that Dr. Laura bears an overpowering resemblance to that drawing of the woman with orange hair that was all over the Cincinnati Yellow Pages in the '80s. In my day, I had defaced that drawing in the same uproarious manner.

The funny thing is, the phone books in Lynchburg come out in October, so this is still early in that directory's lifespan.

I bet there is a tear in their beards, because they're probably still crying about the election results.