The Six Dollar Man! ('Sesame Street' Wednesday)

Beep a beep a beep, boop a boop a boop, beep a beep a beep, boop a boop a boop! News flash!

'Sesame Street' in the '70s was known for Kermit the Frog's "News Flash" segments. Often they were based on an old nursery rhyme, but one of them featured the Six Dollar Man - a parody of the 'Six Million Dollar Man' TV series of the time.

The Six Dollar Man was a hilariously destructive robot built by an eccentric Muppet professor:



I always dug this sketch because it used neat words like 'lubricate' and 'activate'.

But I doubt it could air today. For one thing, the cost of the Six Dollar Man's parts now well exceed $6, thanks to (whoosh...whoosh) inflation. Because of Bush, you'd be lucky to find even the bowling ball for less than $60, let alone $6.

The more serious issue though is that scouring pads are now considered nothing but drug paraphernalia. Seriously. I saw an episode of 'Cops' in which a motorist was arrested just for having scouring pads. (Who says America hasn't become a command state?)

Nonetheless, I would've liked to have a robot like this at the protests against Kids Helping Kids. We could have it march down the driveway of the facility and generally cause a ruckus. If the programmies threw my robot in the dumpster, at least I'd only be out $6.