I want, I want... ('Sesame Street' Wednesday)

This installment usually Sessifies your world by showing a memorable clip from 'Sesame Street'. But this is one where you're going to just have to use your imagination, because the skits in question haven't turned up yet.

I've compiled a top 4 list of 'Sesame Street' segments I want to find. I don't know of them appearing on any DVD collection, YouTube, or anywhere else. They're totally lost!

Here's my top 4, from #4 to #1...

4) BANJO BERT. I have a very, very, very vague memory of this from the mid-'70s, and NOBODY else seems to remember it, despite it being possibly the most bizarre segment ever to appear on the show. It featured Ernie playing basketball while banjo music plays, and Bert's head appearing in the upper left corner of the screen and trying to catch the ball in his mouth. It only ranks #4 because I know it's going to be almost impossible to find, and I don't want to get my hopes for finding it up too much.

3) LISTEN. This was a live action film of various sounds, particularly those made by wildlife. A female voiceover kept saying, "Listen." This is significant because I once witnessed a person saying, "Listen," each time they passed gas. This was apparently based on this sketch. (It was kind of like the "Here it comes" meme.)

2) 'SESAME STREET' GOES BALD. Around 1978, there was a storyline in which several of the adult human characters lamented the fact that Gordon kept shaving his head, thus keeping him a total chrome dome. Then it showed hilarious shots of what other characters might look like if they were bald. I think Maria might have been one of them, but I know for a fact Oscar the Grouch was. The segment showed the ol' Osk with the fur on the top of his head replaced with bare green felt.

1) BAWM BAWM BAWM. This was a musical sketch that featured the chubby blue Anything Muppet from Grover's restaurant and numerous other Muppets singing, "Bawm bawm bawm, bawm ba bawm bawm bawm, bawm bawm bawm...bawm bawm bawm..." There is a similar skit that goes, "Clap clap, clappity-clap," but that one proliferates wildly on YouTube. The "Bawm bawm bawm" sketch is the Holy Grail of lost 'Sesame Street' segments.

If you can lead me to any of those 4 clips, I promise you I'll never send you a rotting piece of poop in the mail.