My Christmas wish list

Ho-ho-ho, what do I want for Christmas? A dried-up booger. Just joking!

For those who are curious about what I want for Christmas, well, you've got questions, and I've got answers. I could say that I want world peace and an end to hunger, but then someone will just accuse me of ruining the whole thing for them. People want me to ask for tangible objects that only I would use, you see.

Everything's about "buy, buy, buy", isn't it?

Welp, there's lots of things I want that only I'd use, but I don't need them. So I dare not ask, no matter how inexpensive it is.

But there's 2 things I probably need - literally.

At the top of my list is an air pump - as I've told you before. My old pump no longer works (despite the fact that I purchased it in this decade), and no pump means no bike, as the tires are running low. And no bike means no exercise. And no exercise means no Tim.

Second on my list is a pair of sunglasses, because I don't have a pair. I will need sunglasses eventually, unless I decide I can contract sunburned eyes (as in the Kermit and Grover sketch on 'Sesame Street') without doing any real damage.

On the other hand, if you're a hard-working American employed in an air pump or sunglasses makin' factory, these purchases will help keep you working - and boost the long-ailing American economy. So I'm not too reluctant to ask for these items. And if I don't get 'em for Christmas, I'll buy 'em myself in the new year.

Plus, I want world peace and an end to hunger. If only I could buy that if I don't get it.

Happy Holidays, everyone!