Inauguration memories

We've got 7 days left to impeach ol' Dumps. Just 7.

Not 7 years. Not 7 months. Just 7 days. Only 7.

Today is a slow news day though, so as the bloated Bush diaper gets ready to mosey out the door, let me regale you with memories of past presidential inaugurations.

In 1985, President Reagan staged an elaborate coronation ceremony to kick off his second term. And believe me, it was a coronation. I was in 6th grade, and even though I wasn't old enough to vote, my school stopped little short of telling you who to support in that election.

That inauguration was known for Rappin' Ronnie's runny nose and his wife Nancy reacting with the same horrified pose later used by Macaulay Culkin on 'Home Alone' posters.

Who could forget Mad Dog Bush's 1989 inauguration? That's the one in which a strong gust blew the goofy blue hat off Marilyn Quayle's head, prompting Bush to say, "The new breeze blows!"

Then there was President Clinton in 1993. During ol' Bill's inauguration speech, Mad Dog had to sit behind him and appeared ready to cry because he had lost the election.

Fast forward to 2005, when Dumbya had a Reaganesque ceremony for his second term. This may well be the most memorable inauguration of all.

All the networks televised the inaugural luncheon with gushing praise upon the Decider. This event was held in the ornate National Statuary Hall in the U.S. Capitol. At the end of the luncheon, Trent "Sheets" Lott was speaking at a podium, and he was presenting a painting to the Bushes. During Lott's speech, the sound of a loud fart could clearly be heard.

The Mississippi Hair Helmet then led the Bushes to a set of crystal lanterns that Congress had gifted to the First Family. As George, Laura, and other peeps gathered around these fine works to admire them, more loud and proud bunker blasts were repeatedly detected.

When Lott returned the podium, the audio of more flatulence was clearly picked up.

It's unknown who kept farting during Bush's luncheon, but I'd almost dance naked in James Taylor Park with gum stuck between my teeth just to get a YouTube clip of that!