Putting my foot down against an Allowed Cloud!

Today I put my foot down - literally - against one of the silliest Allowed Clouds in my area.

Over the Ohio River between Newport, Kentucky, and Cincinnati, Ohio, there's a span called the Newport Southbank Bridge - commonly called the Purple People Bridge, thanks to its lavender paint job. It was once called the L&N Bridge and used to carry cars and rail traffic. But early in the decade, it was rehabbed as a pedestrian and bicycle span.

The bridge has a lengthy list of...RULES. They're posted on several signs. Perhaps the most petty is the rule against "shoeless persons."

I had no desire ever to walk on the bridge barefoot - until I knew it wasn't allowed. Why fight a rule that you otherwise had no intent of breaking? Because it's a slippery slope. The bridge is public, and banning shoeless walkers makes no sense, especially because no public sidewalk that I know of has such a rule. If we let this rule go unchallenged, that will just promote what I call tyranny creep: The rules will get ever more illogical until nobody can enjoy the bridge.

To keep this from happening, I had to do something to combat this meddling. So today I biked to Newport, removed my shoes and socks, dismounted from the Peace Bike, and walked the length of the span barefoot. And that's where I got the picture for this entry.

Oddly, only the narrow pedestrian path was open. The wide roadbed for bikes was gated shut - which proves that whoever is in charge of the bridge has been reading this blog and figured I'd be down there today.

I didn't get caught, but I was thinking of what to say if I had been. If the authorities stopped me, I'd have no choice but to ask them what statute in the Kentucky or Ohio penal code I was violating. It can't be trespassing, because the bridge is public, being owned by a committee featuring city government representatives. In fact, the Purple People Bridge was part of the U.S. numbered highway system (which is owned by the states) until just last year, bearing the unsigned designation of US 27C (a spawn of US 27, which uses the Taylor-Southgate Bridge).

However, I will bet you that I get a letter threatening to arrest me for "trespassing" if I use the bridge again. I would not be in the least bit surprised. And if I don't, it'll probably be because I'm speculating it might happen, and they don't want to prove me right - which will make them look like even bigger fools than they do already.

If I do get a trespass warning, I'm not abiding by it, of course. And the agency issuing the warning will get laughed at like it's going out of style.