Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry...

Today I goed to Kroger, and on the way there, I saw a Jerry Springer look-alike.

Principal suspended for drinking beer

Gasp! Somebody drank beer! What is this world coming to?!

Recently, the principal of Henry Clay High School in Lexington, Kentucky, was suspended without pay for 2 days because he drank one beer at dinner with his wife. The headmaster's imbibement of alcohol took place on a trip for a cheerleading competition - but not in the presence of any students.

The principal issued a statement apologizing for having beer at dinner - as if he was involved in some serious scandal. "I deeply regret my actions and assure everyone in our school community that it will never happen again," he said.

I chewed bubble gum once. I deeply regret my actions and assure everyone in my school community that it will never happen again. Unless there's another war I want to prevent and need to use up all the rubber so there's none left for the war effort.

America's schools have been rendered a stale husk by the Far Right, and we're supposed to be worried about a principal drinking a beer with dinner?

(Source: http://www.kentucky.com/2014/07/29/3357223/henry-clay-principal-suspended.html)

Right-wing Kentucky lawmaker indicted for felony

The party that thinks it's owed control of the Kentucky legislature is now seeing yet another of its legislators indicted for a felony.

State Rep. Forrest Waide (or Ben as he calls himself), a far-right Madisonville Republican, has now been indicted by a grand jury for felony campaign finance violations. Waide is accused of accepting campaign money from a corporation and misspending campaign dough. Each charge carries up to 5 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

A lawsuit also claims Waide diverted money from his business to pay for campaign expenses and legislative trips - even though he gets a legislative allowance.

Luckily for the GOPstapo, Waide isn't running for the Kentucky House again this year. But unluckily for them, he is running for Hopkins County Judge-Executive.

Remember this indictment the next time you hear some hack babbling about it's the Republicans' "turn" to take the Kentucky House - even though everything else the Republicans have touched in the past 35 years has turned to shit.

(Source: http://www.kentucky.com/2014/07/29/3357062/grand-jury-indicts-kentucky-lawmaker.html)

Friday, July 25, 2014

Tea Party tries to start race war in Queens

This story is reason #45,583,270,213,011,501,394,001 why the Tea Party needs to keep its snout out of where it doesn't belong.

New York City's popular Mayor Bill de Blasio has vowed to make fighting homelessness a priority. The de Blasio administration has reportedly proposed new affordable housing and instituting rent assistance for homeless families. But when the city converted an old hotel in Queens into a shelter for the homeless - most of whom have jobs - a far-right group called COMET (Communities of Maspeth & Elmhurst Together) went ballistic.

COMET was Tea Party years before the Tea Party thought they were cool. VOMET was like New York's version of Citizens for Community Values. Lately, these hapless losers have been conducting repeated protests against the new shelter. They've been surrounding the building and harassing the residents. And they've been coordinating with Republican officials.

Without a shred of evidence, COMET and the Tea Party blamed residents for minor crimes like shoplifting and public urination that have afflicted the neighborhood. They said the neighborhood had no crime before, but that's a lie. For instance, the precinct reported 434 burglaries just in one year - before the shelter was founded. One speaker at the protest said the homeless are "garbage."

This isn't only class warfare. It's becoming a race war too. All incited by the Tea Party.

It's gotten so bad that the city has had to send out buses to take the residents away during the protests.

Luckily, the neighborhood does have good people who are highly suspicious of Team Tyranny's protests - which leads me to believe that most of the protesters are from out of town. Folks have expressed disgust at the nasty tone of the rallies. But it may not matter since America is allowed to be ruled by a heckler's veto.

GOP legislator registered to vote in multiple states

The Republicans were right: There really is a lot of voter fraud. But it's all committed by Republicans.

Washington State Rep. Mike Hope - a Republican - has now been forced to resign after it was discovered that he was registered to vote in both Washington state and Ohio.

The details of this scandal are sketchy. Maybe he was on one of those Tea Party buses that were reportedly seen around here on Election Day schlepping people around to vote at multiple polling locations.

(Source: http://www.alan.com/2014/07/25/republican-state-rep-resigns-over-dual-voter-registrations)

Lawn Chair Quarterback: "Mr. Peanut Is Cool"

Tim talks about another hilarious advertising mascot...

NBC stovepipes TheBlaze lies

That's an interesting urban legend the right-wing media is spreading about President Obama's motorcade blocking a pregnant woman from getting to the hospital. As it turns out, it didn't quite happen the way the press says it did.

The incident was reported by KNBC-TV in Los Angeles - owned by NBC, which in turn is owned by the right-wing Comcast syndicate. Instead of using a credible source, they picked up an alleged witness's statements from TheBlaze, a fascist network and website founded by Glenn Beck.

Shame on you, NBC. You lied and got away with it.

The FCC and our legislators need to open an official investigation into The Media for coordinating with the Republican Party.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Fort Wayne GOPstapo overrides "right-to-work" veto

Yes, there is a major American city that's more conservative than Cincinnati.

Remember last week when the mayor of Fort Wayne, Indiana, vetoed a misnamed "right-to-work" bill? Well, yesterday the right-wing City Council voted along party lines to override his veto.

It takes real arrogance to override a mayor on something like this and go completely against the will of the people - but it's not unprecedented.

Tim fights the Far Right with Northeast photos

To satisfy the forces of roadliness, I've publicly posted 327 photos and videos from last month's trek to the Northeastern U.S. They're divided into 11 parts.

Know what you're gonna do? Read 'em. Know what else you're gonna do? Peep.

http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14a.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14b.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14c.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14d.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14e.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14f.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14g.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14h.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14i.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14j.html
http://www.bunkerblast.info/roadpics/ne14k.html

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Activist judges nearly wreck Obamacare

It never ends with these right-wing clowns, does it?

Today, there have been 2 rather significant court rulings on a frivolous lawsuit that attempts to gut the Affordable Care Act by saying you can't get insurance subsidies unless you live in one of the few states that has its own exchange. While the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit upheld this key Obamacare provision, a panel of judges for the D.C. Circuit did the opposite - which threatens the very core of health care reform.

For starts, there's nothing in the Affordable Care Act that says subsidies are limited to just the states with their own exchanges. The lawsuit was based on a supposedly ambiguous line in the law - but the rest of the law is perfectly clear.

Also, with the right-wing brain trust complaining that Obamacare makes health insurance costlier, why did they sue to halt a provision that provides subsidies to make it cheaper? You can't complain that the law drives up insurance costs, while filing a lawsuit against a part of the law that lowers the costs.

If that ruling stands, what is the reaction going to be by all the people who will receive a letter saying they won't get their subsidy anymore? In a big state like Florida, that's about 900,000 households.

Will it stand? If poo.

Someone bunkerooed Sunday night

Bunker blast report!

On Sunday night at an important family gathering, somebody reported detecting the aroma of an SBD air biscuit. The dog was blamed. However, I have my doubts.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Tea Party abandons Kidwell

With embattled Campbell County Sheriff Jeff Kidwell flopping around in agony after losing the Republican primary, the Tea Party has finally figured out it's time to abandon the sunken Kidwell ship, despite his own Tea Party views.

Local Tea Party activists have become obsessed with what they call the "red star incident." They now accuse Kidwell of blacklisting Tea Party adherents who attended a local Republican meet-up, by sticking red stars on their name tags. They also say Kidwell improperly diverted party funds to his 2012 campaign.

What is this feud really about? Actually, members of the local right-wing intelligentsia are just pointing fingers at each other because they've managed to produce such a shitty slate of candidates, and they know it. Tea Party members seem thoroughly shocked that Democrats now running in local elections might, you know, win. They think Tea Party Republicans are entitled to win every election and can't imagine that a Democrat might beat them.

So there ya have it, Campbell County voters. This is the party that's been running your county for the past quarter-century. It shows, by the way.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Fort Wayne rejects "right-to-work" measure

A victory for liberty and working people in Fort Wayne, Indiana!

Right-wing extremists have been on the warpath in Fort Wayne, and they recently introduced an unconstitutional "right-to-work" bill that would have applied to city employees. It managed to pass City Council.

But now Mayor Tom Henry has vetoed the proposed ordinance. Henry issued a statement saying, "Once again, City Council has presented an ordinance that I had to veto because of the disrespect it shows the great employees of our City - this time, the public safety officers." Yes, this isn't the first time.

Far-right City Council member Mitch Harper said passing a "right-to-work" law would end "discrimination." What "discrimination"? He thinks it's "discrimination" to have to pay the same fair share fees as union workers. Seriously, he said that.

Even though the mayor has vetoed the bill, don't uncork the champagne and Kix just yet. A two-thirds vote by City Council can override a mayoral veto. And it sounds like they're loopy enough that they might actually try to do it.

(Source: http://www.insideindianabusiness.com/newsitem.asp?ID=66175)

CNN removes reporter for insulting extremists

I guess freedom of speech doesn't exist anymore.

Lately, Israeli extremists have openly cheered war crimes carried out by their government in the bombing of Gaza. In addition, they have threatened CNN correspondent Diana Magnay while she was reporting on events there.

Following these threats, Magnay posted on Twitter that those who threatened her are "scum." After this, CNN made Magnay apologize - and they removed her from this assignment.

I have mixed views about Mideast politics, but we should all agree that war crimes are unacceptable. And removing a reporter from the scene for accurately reporting them is a serious blow to CNN's journalistic integrity.

Then again, this probably wouldn't be an issue at Fox News. Considering Fox's history of supporting war crimes, I'm sure their reporters are out there cheering with the crowd.

(Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/18/cnn-diana-magnay-israel-gaza_n_5598866.html)

Harbor Mean

Quick! Call the museum! We've found a Tea Party stronghold in Bellevue! And man, are they Teain' it up!

Bellevue City Council had a special hearing last night about proposed development at Harbor Greene. If there was any indication beforehand that lurking bigotry would reveal itself at the meeting, I would have been there to monitor it. (I went to the recent TANK meeting, and the Tea Party was suspiciously quiet there - perhaps because the Tea Party had long ago succeeded in their goal of gutting local transit.) According to the River City News website, last night's hearing was dominated by the 1% heckler's veto.

Harbor Greene is a luxury condo complex on the riverfront near Bellevue's west corner. It opened last decade. Construction of the development was of course rubber-stamped, even though it was out of step with the city's working-class character and blocked neighbors' views.

Harbor Greene's developers had planned more luxury condos there, but since there aren't enough financially secure folks to fill the condos that are already built, the developers recently changed their plans to ordinary apartments instead.

But last night, the millionaires who currently live in Harbor Greene - and their few supporters across town - said no. They don't like "those people." And yes, one of them did say "those people."

One apologist for the posh condo residents said we lowly renters "don't care about Bellevue." This far-right plen-T-plaint is particularly tiresome, considering I've rented the same apartment in Bellevue since years before Harbor Greene was even planned. I'm not moving out of the city just so "better people" can launch a land grab to drive me out.

Harbor Greene residents acted as if only their opinions should matter. They claimed to be an accurate representation of Bellevue's overall population. After the Tea Party's precious Mitt Romney lost Bellevue, I sort of doubt it.

Because the planned apartments would be part of the same development as the existing luxury condos, condo residents expressed horror that they'd have to share their swimming pool with renters. Heaven forbid!

Well, I don't want to have to share a city with a bunch of elitist right-wing bigots. And I was here first.

Isn't it strange how - all over the Cincinnati metropolitan area - every new luxury development gets rubber-stamped, while residences that might actually be affordable for somebody somewhere in town are rejected out of hand?

(Source: http://rcnky.com/articles/2014/07/18/bellevue-condo-owners-transient-apartment-dwellers-not-part-deal)

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Kroger is your bubbling store...Where your bubbling buys you more...

Earlier at Kroger, an elderly woman bubbled.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Kentucky blacklisted for opposing REAL ID

The scuzzo Department of Homeland Security - which was established as Bush's personal plaything - has now blacklisted Kentucky and 9 other states for not complying with the fascist REAL ID law.

Officials in the rest of the states, however, seem to have caved without question. That's treason.

The matter came to light recently when the federal government refused to accept the ID's of about 50 Kentuckians who tried to attend an EPA public hearing in Atlanta.

Now Kentucky is considering offering compliant ID's for those who don't mind having their personal lives pawed through - and who actually possess the requisite paperwork - while continuing to offer noncompliant ID's to folks like me. But something tells me this won't be enough to appease the DHS thought police.

Not only should REAL ID be repealed or unenforced, but the Department of Homeland Security should be abolished. The DHS was never more than anything but an effort by the Bush thugocracy to consolidate power.

(Source: http://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/local/2014/07/14/homeland-security-kentucky-drivers-licenses/12631545)

Friday, July 11, 2014

Lawn Chair Quarterback: "Dusty Lenscap"

Tim pokes fun at an old Kmart advertising mascot...

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Have no fear, the July ish is here!

If you're waiting on the edge of your seat for your face to fall off in laughter, the suspense is over, because the July ish of The Last Word is now pub!

This edition talks about a recent road trip full of restroom vandalism, how scary movies helped make America the home of the brave, people defecating on the floor at an EPA office, and more!

So point it here, peeps...

http://www.scribd.com/doc/233386050/The-Last-Word-7-2014

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Team name hypocrisy

As the controversy rocks on over whether the Washington Redskins should change their name, I was prepared to let it go with no comment. I don't endorse keeping the name. But who wants to read a blog that just repeats points that have been made many times elsewhere?

However, this morning, I had a sudden epiphany that it's unjust to be silent on this issue in light of the renaming of other sports teams, which had far less offensive names. I can think of at least 2 occasions in recent memory in which teams that were part of a major North American pro sports league changed their "offensive" name even though hardly anyone was offended by the old name - unlike the Redskins. I didn't know about either name change until long after it had taken place. Both of these changes were met with complete silence by most of those who now defend the Washington NFL team's name.

In 1997, the NBA's Washington Bullets became the Washington Wizards because the team's owner thought the old name condoned gun violence. This argument was patently ridiculous. Nobody is going to go out and shoot someone just because a basketball team is called the Bullets.

Then, in 2007 - yes, 2007 - Major League Baseball's Tampa Bay Devil Rays were renamed to simply the Rays because religious fanatics complained about the old name.

These changes elicited no criticism in the press. In fact, there wasn't even any serious controversy building up before these changes. These teams changed their names without any widespread movement urging them to do so.

But if you dare suggest changing the name of Washington's football team, you get shouted down by many of the same individuals who accepted or even supported these other name changes. Football is a game of many traditions - but I'm uneasy about keeping a name like the Redskins that's so widely seen as offensive. A disparaging term like that is far more offensive than something like the Bullets or Devil Rays. I know that even the blandest team name could offend someone, but why all the criticism of a proposed name change, after other name changes were accepted? It's hypocritical to keep the Redskins' name after encouraging the Devil Rays and Bullets to change.

As is the policy of many newspapers, I haven't completely avoided the Washington football team's name in this entry - because that would only sweep the issue under the rug. That's more than can be said of media treatment of replacing stadium names with the name of a corporation that buys naming "rights." Once a big corporation puts its name on a sports facility, the old name is considered gone - forgotten. The Media flushes it down the memory hole, and it's never mentioned again. Everyone smirks and grins as they refer to the stadium by its corporate name - without even questioning it.

Why do we allow fine old sports venues to be renamed for corporations, but we can't change a disparaging team name? This is the worst hypocrisy of all.

I've said for years that sports leagues should disallow venues from being named for corporations.

If Washington's football team changes its moniker, I would suggest changing it to the Bullets or the Devil Rays. That's the only way I can think of to rectify the unfettered silliness that surrounded 2 earlier name changes.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Tim is tired of toein' the line

I had another weird dream last night.

I dreamed that a feller from the Internet breezed into town and started an argument with me over whether the expression "toeing the line" was actually spelled "towing the line."

This forced me to claw through my record collection to dig up an old Rocky Burnette record sleeve to prove him wrong.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Campbell GOP supports tax hike

Why does anyone in Campbell County even still vote Republican after all those lies?

Now that Campbell County Circuit Court has ruled that Fiscal Court's new tax for 911 service is indeed legal, it underscores Tea Party-backed Republicans' support for this tax. While Republicans on Fiscal Court supported the tax, the lone Democratic commish opposed it.

Enacting the tax wouldn't have been as bad if the Republicans had actually told the truth about it. These Tea Party disciples ran on a platform of lower taxes, yet passed a new tax anyway. But the real problem with this tax is that an individual homeowner or even a renter has to pay just as much as a big corporation.

Now local Democrats have become unified in opposing the tax. The Campbell County Democratic Party has issued an op-ed blasting the tax increase. Democratic candidates for Judge-Executive and all 3 Fiscal Court seats have all expressed opposition to the tax and have vowed to equitably fund 911 service.

But Republicans support the tax.

Hey, aren't the Republicans supposed to be the ones who are against higher taxes? Not like I believed them, especially after their FairTax garbage. Right, 7-Cent Joe?

I fled to the Green Party years ago because I asked so little of the Democrats and they delivered even less. But this story is a sign that the Democrats may be returning to their senses.

If the Democrats don't win at least one of those 4 seats after calling out Team Tyranny's wastefulness, then there is something truly, utterly wrong with people.

Monday, June 30, 2014

Supremes weaken home care workers' rights

The Supreme Court issued yet another blow against working Americans today in the case of Harris v. Quinn.

The high court ruled 5 to 4 - with the usual crew of Federalist Society ideologues in the majority - that unions representing home care workers don't have to collect fair share fees from workers they represent who are classed as public workers. This ruling forces union workers to subsidize nonunion labor.

This decision flies in the face of the Constitution's safeguards against uncompensated labor, impairment of contracts, and freedom of association. It even weakens the longstanding Abood v. Detroit Board of Education ruling that protects worker rights. It's almost like having a misnamed "right-to-work" law that applies to public home care employees.

Many folks feared today's ruling would be much broader. Some worried that the court would write a federal "right-to-work" law that would have decimated the rights of all workers - public and private, in all occupations. I am firmly convinced that warnings of nationwide labor protests warded off such a sweeping decision. There was serious talk on some websites of a major pushback by workers if a wider ruling was imposed. Then again, it's not like we shouldn't fight back anyway.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Far Right doesn't respond to "sidewalk counseling"

A Supreme Court ruling this past Thursday opens up a whole new vista in the fight for the 99%.

The Supremes ruled 9 to 0 in the McCullen v. Coakley case that you can't pass a law establishing a "buffer zone" to prohibit protests near abortion clinics. In fairness, I believe it would be the correct ruling if every anti-abortion protester was peaceful. But - in light of violence by the likes of John Salvi III, Eric Rudolph, and other right-wing extremists - I have my doubts.

The ruling resulted from a lawsuit filed by anti-abortion activists who wanted to practice what they call "sidewalk counseling." Fair enough, but you do realize what the ruling means, don't you? McCullen v. Coakley reams a gaping Bazooka hole through any efforts to prohibit Occupy from doing anything Occupy has ever done.

Of course, all of this is lost on the lunatic Right - which has proven itself to be unresponsive to moderation. I had another Facebook brawl with one of their cultists this weekend. Someone on a Facebook forum brang up an important economic issue, and I felt compelled to patiently correct their misunderstandings of labor law. Most peeps responded positively to the information I posted. But one John Luebbers chimed in, spoiling for a fight.

The Lubester began attacking Occupy with false anecdotes - even though no mention of Occupy had been made previously. He claimed Occupy had "rape tents" - which is a lie. (No Occupy supporters have ever been implicated in any rapes.) Of course, there wasn't any provocation for Luebbers's meltdown. He flew off the handle just because that's what unstable maniacs like him do.

This public temper tantrum underscores the notion that we can't afford to play nice with the 1% and their violent mob.

But thanks to McCullen v. Coakley, we now have legal cover to up our game. The Evil Empire's tactics will be copied. Fight fire with fire. I am so over playing nice.

The Far Right doesn't think like we do. They don't understand facts and reasoning - preferring instead to stay stupid. Just about anyone else understands you when you post facts. But not the hateful scoundrels who make up Team Tyranny.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Lawn Chair Quarterback: "I Watched Sesame Street On Tuesday"

Tim laments the downfall of a once-entertaining television program...

Car motor fetishist is rising GOP star

Meet Jordan Haskins of Saginaw, Michigan.

Haskins is a rising Republican star, and he's the GOP nominee for a Michigan House seat. He's volunteered for the campaigns of major Republican candidates, and - as a diehard Tea Party conservative - he testified against a proposed Saginaw antidiscrimination ordinance.

And Haskins has racked up some felony convictions related to a very bizarre sexual fetish he has.

He's served time in Michigan and North Carolina. The charges stem from his habit of breaking into cars and starting them up to facilitate his sexual interest. According to a police report, "Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises." In a couple of incidents, he broke into county-owned mosquito control vehicles. In a different incident, he admitted to breaking into a city police car and masturbating in it.

Haskins is still on parole, but he says he's running for public office because "I want to be the Republican, the conservative candidate that says, you know, conservatism is for you. Because conservatism, real conservatism, true red-blooded American conservatism is about grit, hard work, loyalty, and traditional values. ... The 3 values that make up my stool of conservatism are faith, family, and freedom."

As for now, the Republican Party is standing by their embattled candidate.

(Source: http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/06/saginaw_republican_running_for.html;
http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2014/06/man_with_prison_record_for_sex.html)

Army clears Bergdahl; media silent

Now we know one way to get Fox News to zip its lip.

An anonymous Army official has now confirmed that Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl has been cleared of desertion. The Army says there is no evidence whatsoever that Bergdahl is guilty of any misconduct.

Naturally, The Media has almost completely ignored this story.

(Source: http://aattp.org/breaking-army-clears-bergdahl-of-any-wrongdoing-while-taliban-hostage)

Friday, June 20, 2014

Lawn Chair Quarterback: "Casey Kasem Was Cool"

Tim pays tribute to a legendary radio and TV personality...

Bergdahl not first victim of chickenhawk smears

In the wake of the right-wing media's swiftboating of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, sometimes it's easy to forget that the Far Right's treachery against America is not new. A Korean War POW received the Tea Party treatment 61 years ago - decades before there even was a Tea Party.

In 1953, Army Staff Sgt. Jack Flanary, 21, was released from a prisoner of war camp after almost 3 years. His hometown of Benham, Kentucky, planned a huge welcoming celebration and parade.

But the event was derailed by right-wingers just as it was getting underway. Right-wing windbags had falsely claimed that Flanary had collaborated with Red China during his years in captivity. The celebration's organizers heard of this at the start of the event and decided to call it off. The American Legion revoked a $50 savings bond they had promised to Flanary.

Luckily, the townsfolk didn't believe the right-wingers' lies. They immediately collected $500 in place of the rescinded savings bond. People donated various other items. Thousands of area residents celebrated Flanary's homecoming with a huge party that lasted until the following morning.

Fast forward 61 years. As of today, the fascist Tea Party is continuing to step up its smears against Bergdahl. This is a disgrace. In fact, it's such a disgrace that if the Republican Party doesn't face real, long-lasting political repercussions, maybe it proves Team Tyranny is right about one thing only: government really is the problem. Who needs a government run by the Tea Party?

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Northeast mish concludes!

I got home last night from a fact-finding mission in the Northeastern U.S., and there's lots of neet poo to report.

I noticed a plopping on the very first bathroom stop of the trip. Somebody threw an Ohio Lottery ticket in the toilet at the TA gas station in Octa, Ohio.

One LAP bunker blast was detected on this trip. In the hallway at a motel in Brattleboro, Vermont, some guy ripped a trouser sneeze.

Celebrity look-alikes included "Weird Al" Yankovic, Mr. Hooper, and Ron Jeremy. Plus, there was that old lady we thought was Konstantin Chernenko.

Also, at the Longhorn restaurant in St. Clairsville, Ohio, some old man bubbled.