Friday, November 24, 2017

Reagan and Gorbachev puppets liked gum (Bubble Gum Weekend)

Because it's Thanksgiving weekend, you're gonna gum. You always do.

In light of this, we've found another hilarious old gum commersh...

That ad is for Chiclets. I haven't seen Chiclets in stores in years, but apparently they still make it, which is why I don't embed the video directly.

According to YouTube, the commercial is from 1985. It features puppets of Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev arguing about what makes Chiclets so great. It's sort of like the "less filling, tastes great" beer ads. They each chomp a slab in an attempt to determine what makes the product so wonderful.

But they didn't bubble.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Have no fear, the December ish is here!

These are such momentous times that the December issue of The Last Word was published early!

Don't be fooled by Scribd misclassifying it under "Republican Party." Quite the contrary. That's like classifying Investor's Business Daily under "Newspapers." Though The Last Word gained fame as a bulwark against the Far Right, the latest ish covers a host of topics including these and more...

• Spectrum Internet being a ripoff.

• A failed treatment for an eye disorder.

• Linus from 'Peanuts' farting.

• A 70-year video retrospective of school flatulence.

• People cheating at Monopoly.

• Dogs being afraid of bubble gum.

So - if you can ignore Scribd thinking we're Republican - point your pooper here to read our latest edition...

If you can't access it on Scribd, you may read it here...

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Ending 'Net neutrality would be unconstitutional

With an FCC stacked by Trump-appointed hacks preparing to gut 'Net neutrality regulations passed 2 years ago, it's hard to see how doing so would even pass First Amendment muster - not to mention the fact that the FCC lacks legislative approval to do so.

Didn't the First Amendment used to protect free speech? Nowhere does it give utility companies the right to censor speech they disapprove of. If the phone company had listened in on calls and cut them off, there's no way it would be legal. (Not like it didn't happen.) So how would it be legal to abolish 'Net neutrality?

Odds are there are going to be some court challenges to the FCC's upcoming ukase. I just don't see any way it can stand.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Barbershop quartet sings about gum

To celebrate the holidays, I've composed a little song, recorded it to sound like a Christmas carol, and uploaded it to YouTube!

What's this song about, dare you ask? Bubble gum, that's what. It's this stuff that you chew and blow big bubbles with. You chomp it daily.

Every month, I get a gafillion requests for Last Word articles about gum. So why not harmonize about this zesty goo?

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Kentucky congressman issues articles of impeachment against Trump

"Butbutbut Kentucky red state lolololol."

Today, 6 House Democrats introduced articles of impeachment against dictator Trump. And one of the lawmakers is from Kentucky!

Rep. John Yarmuth (D-Kentucky) is joining Rep. Adriano Espaillat (D-New York), Rep. Luis Gutiérrez (D-Illinois), Rep. Marcia Fudge (D-Ohio), Rep. Al Green (D-Texas), and Rep. Steve Cohen (D-Tennessee) in this effort. This includes 5 new articles outlining how Trump endangers the whole country. Cohen even called Trump's regime a "constitutional crisis."

One of the articles centers on Trump obstructing justice by firing James Comey. Another rightly charges that Trump violated the Constitution's emoluments clauses.

Still, some Democrats oppose the effort, since they want Robert Mueller's probe of Russian election interference to finish up first. But Cohen said he was encouraged to go ahead with impeachment because of the Charlottesville terrorist attacks.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Bubblin' in Dublin

Bubbling isn't just an American pastime. It's worldwide!

I've just been informed that in recent days, 3 people have been seen bubbling in public in Dublin - yes, Ireland. This includes a woman in an airport and a man in a car!

Celebrity look-alikes have been sighted too! Even though it's Ireland, those seen resemble American celebrities. A Paul Ryan look-alike was seen riding a bike. A man who resembled Louis Edmonds - actor who played Langley Wallingford of All My Children - was seen walking down the street.

I've also been told that a restroom at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris had pee everywhere.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Elder Bush accused of groping 16-year-old

What idiotic excuses will the right-wing brain trust come up with this time?

In recent weeks, 6 women have publicly accused George H.W. Bush of groping them. The latest accuser says she was groped by the former leader of the free (?) world back in 2003, when she was only 16.

The accuser says the incident took place at a photo op at a CIA office in Texas where her dad worked. She says Bush grabbed her buttocks. "My initial action was absolute horror. I was really, really confused," she told Time magazine.

It's been clear for a long time now that the scoundrels who make up the modern GOP are about abusing people as much as possible. Only the right-wing media keeps the Republican Party alive.

Friday, November 10, 2017

GOP wants tariff on Puerto Rico

Oh the stupid! It burns!

The Trump regime and Republicans on the Senate Finance Committee want to impose a tariff of 20% on all products "imported" from Puerto Rico. The committee has already approved this tariff by a vote of 24 to 16.

Uh, Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory, geniuses.

The Republicans are the party that wouldn't do shit about foreign trade partners that cheated on trade agreements or broke American or international laws. Yet they want a tariff on an American territory?

The Republican Party gets stranger by the day. After all, the Greens aren't the ones defending Roy Moore after his latest scandal.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Roy Moore accused of sexual encounter with under-age girl

Well, this ought to settle it...

Another Jack Nicholson look-alike?

I've just been informed that yet another Jack Nicholson look-alike was sighted.

The same letter said a person was seen bubbling in a car.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Private school handout derailed in Colorado

Here's another great result from yesterday's elections - this one from Douglas County, Colorado!

The right-wing school board there had implemented a clearly unconstitutional program to spend taxpayer money on handouts for private school tuition. One wonders why people who are opposed to the very concept of public education are allowed to serve on a public school board, but that's a whole other matter. The school board also replaced teachers' salary agreement with a greed-driven "market-based" system that cut their pay.

Yesterday, a slate of candidates who oppose the illegal voucher scheme was swept into office - which is expected to end these handouts.

When the Far Right has lost Douglas County, they've lost, period. Then again, voucher referendums have been rejected in every place I know that's ever had one - even some of the most right-wing places in America. Still, the deplorapile is whining about yesterday's Douglas County results, saying that private school parents shouldn't have to pay taxes for public schools. Uh, of course they should. That's what public means.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Maine voters approve Medicaid expansion

Maine voters just blew a huge bubble and popped it all over Paul LePage's stupid face.

The far-right Maine governor has vetoed Obamacare's Medicaid expansion no fewer than 5 times, but today, voters there set him straight: A referendum to expand Medicaid in Maine is passing by a wide margin.

This should also wipe away the smug smirks of the talking heads who absurdly insist that the public opposes Medicaid expansion. If nothing else, the Affordable Care Act affirmed that public health care is a right, and once that happens, there's no turning back.

Democrats sweep governor elections

America only had 2 governor elections today - in New Jersey and Virginia - but the Republicans were waxed in both. New Jersey wasn't even close, and it's a Democratic pick-up. Some expected Virginia to be a Republican pick-up, but it was called for Democrat Ralph Northam less than an hour after the polls closed. Actually, no credible pollster showed race-baiting Republican Ed Gillespie ahead, but this was a bit like the Senate election in Connecticut in 2010, when everybody kept insisting the Republican would pull ahead (which didn't happen).

As a bonus for the Democrats, the incumbent Democratic Mayor of St. Petersburg, Florida, was re-elected when many didn't expect him to be.

Although this is an off year, this is actually the worst election for the GOP in 5 years. In the past few years, we've usually stayed up almost all night only to be outraged in the end. This time, the most important races were called before we even had dinner.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Col. Klink quits speaker job and cries about it

In the midst of an ongoing sexual harassment cover-up, Jeff "Col. Klink" Hoover announced today he is resigning his post as Kentucky House Speaker. He bawled like a big baby.

Unfortunately, however, he's remaining as a member of the Kentucky House, so the voters are going to have to retire him from that.

Lawmakers in harassment scandal named

In addition to Jeff "Col. Klink" Hoover, the 3 other Republican members of the Kentucky House involved in the ongoing sexual harassment scandal have now been named, and one of them is from northern Kentucky. The 3 are...

Rep. Brian Linder (R-Dry Ridge)
Rep. Michael Meredith (R-Oakland)
Rep. Jim DeCesare (R-Bowling Green)

Now watch the Democrats refuse to run an opponent against any of them, because reasons.

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Another Bellevue bubbling

Earlier, I had to go down the street to run some errands, and a young woman in a car that drove up the street bubbled.

Kentucky GOP harassment scandal expands

After right-wing Kentucky House Speaker Jeff "Col. Klink" Hoover was caught in a sexual harassment scandal, the scandal continues to grow.

Republican State Rep. C. Wesley Morgan is now accusing Kentucky GOP leaders of conspiring to cover up information about the settlement. Morgan says there's also sexual harassment allegations against 3 other powerful Republican lawmakers, who serve as committee chairs. He did not name the legislators.

When the Republicans have lost even the embattled Morgan, they've just about lost, period.

Let this civil war within the Kentucky GOP entertain you.


Kentucky may lose an electoral vote in next census

Happy now, Forehead?

There's some very real speculation now that Kentucky may lose a U.S. House seat - and an electoral vote - in the 2020 census. After the rise of Matt Bevin, population growth in the Bluegrass State has slowed to a crawl - and lags far behind most other states. If so, Kentucky would be reduced to 5 House seats or 7 electoral votes.

And for those who think Kentucky can't lose 2 because it's a small state to begin with, Oklahoma lost 2 in 1950. At the rate things are going, this is actually a possibility.

The party that loses from this should be the Republicans. Most of the state's most Republican areas are actually losing population, so the Democrats should keep their seat around Louisville and have an easier time winning the one around Lexington. But don't bet on it, because of illegal gerrymandering. In fact, even if the Democrats retake the Kentucky legislature, they'll probably do their best to preserve Republican seats - as the 1990 debacle proved.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Kentucky House Speaker caught up in sexual harassment scandal

The party that The Media thinks is entitled to control all of Kentucky politics strikes again.

Far-right Kentucky House Speaker Jeff "Col. Klink" Hoover has just reached a settlement regarding sexual harassment allegations by a woman on his legislative staff. The agreement was reached following a letter regarding the allegations that date back to March 2016. The accusations weren't even known until just this week when they surfaced on an anonymous Twitter account.

As part of the scandal, an account that appears to belong to Hoover sent the woman suggestive text messages asking to send photos of herself. The woman was told by staffers that she needed to keep Hoover happy to protect her career. One of the texts that appears to come from Hoover declares, "My phone was in seat between my legs. You texted and it vibrated."

Meanwhile, Hoover says in his Twitter profile that he is a "sinner saved by God's grace."

Nobody abuses quite like the Republican Party of Kentucky.


Boehner says there's Nazis in Congress

Nobody knows the House of Representatives better than Republican former Speaker of the House John Boehner.

So when the former Ohio congressman says there's members of Congress who are Nazis, you should pay attention.

In a groundbreaking interview, Boehner said this about Congress: "We have some of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet, and some that are Nazis." Yes, literally Nazis. I don't think this statement is hyperbole.

Let this sink in. One of the most powerful Republicans in Congress in modern times says Congress has members who are actual, live Nazis.

All the assholes who used to yell out "GODWIN'S LAW!!!!!" every 5 seconds are looking mighty silly now.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Kentucky malpractice law ruled unconstitutional

This was completely unexpected. Seriously.

For years, the beezlybozz Right has whined and cried over the supposed glut of medical malpractice lawsuits - even though there's far, far more lawsuits by hospitals and insurers against patients. So nobody cares what the Right thinks. Nobody.

But the Kentucky legislature has been fashing it up this year, and one of their first acts was to pass a law to require malpractice suits to go through a review panel stacked with political hacks. The law was sponsored by far-right State Sen. Ralph Alvarado, who sues everyone who disagrees with him.

Now a judge has rightly ruled this law unconstitutional and has permanently enjoined Kentucky from enforcing it. The court said the law "protects the economic interests of the health care industry at the expense of consumers, with no demonstrable benefit to the public at large." The ruling said the law builds unfair "barriers to the court system."

But don't break out the champagne and Skittles just yet. The Matt Bevin thugocracy is planning on wasting taxpayer money by appealing this ruling. Maybe Bevin's lawyers will fail to show up, like what happened for the Planned Parenthood case.


Sunday, October 29, 2017

Chick-fil-A still funds right-wing extremism

Newport tore down a whole neighborhood for this?

It seems like every time a new Chick-fil-A opens in any community, the media there is absolutely over the moon about it, and the new Chick-fil-A receives what is in effect free advertising. Other restaurants usually don't receive this kind of fawning media attention. Several years ago, Chick-fil-A was exposed for donating to right-wing hate groups - and the chain's extremism continues today.

Recent IRS filings for the Chick-fil-A Foundation reveal that it gave over $200,000 to the far-right Paul Anderson Youth Home, a Georgia-based group that operates what they call a "Christian residential home for troubled youth" that uses discredited "ex-gay" therapy.

In other words, a confinement program - just like a phony "rehab" or psychiatric prison.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Have no fear, the November ish is here!

The November issue of The Last Word - that zine to end all zines - is now pub! You can't blow bubbles with it, because it's not gum, but the latest edition does regale you with lots of interesting items...

• My recent trip to Big Bend.

• A mole in the Occupy movement.

• Toilet lids.

• A jacket getting ruined by peach cobbler.

• People blowing bubbles with bubble gum and uploading it to YouTube.

• Some Monopoly lore!

• And more!

So point your pooper here...

If Scribd fails to enchant you, you can find the latest Last Word here...

Right-wing bigots kill housing in Kentucky community

Prospect, Kentucky, is a rich suburb of Louisville - and they don't want you anywhere near, even if you're at least 55.

Usually, new developments are rubber-stamped. Most are rich subdivisions. But an exception is any time someone proposes housing that's relatively inexpensive. Then it's usually rejected. A Bowling Green company had planned a housing complex outside of Prospect for people 55 and older that offered housing at a below-market cost. Rich Tea Party activists in Prospect then circulated a petition to cancel the project - even though the development would be outside the city of Prospect. Prospect Mayor John Evans even threatened to sue if the project was approved. Prospect wasted $100,000 in legal fees fighting it.

The development's opponents didn't even try to hide their classism. Many of them admitted that their big worry was that it would draw low-income residents to the area.

Bowing to these caterwauling crybabies, Louisville Metro Council voted 14 to 11 to reject the development. They said it was because of fumes from a nearby gas station. But it was pointed out that fumes already plague other Louisville neighborhoods, and public officials aren't concerned about it.

It turns out that Prospect actually tried to build its own development on the site to block out the housing - even though, as I said earlier, the site is outside of Prospect. The Tea Party couldn't very well argue that they opposed the housing originally planned there because of traffic concerns, considering the project that Prospect wanted instead would've drawn just as much traffic.

Rich suburbs east of Louisville have a decades-long history of fighting inexpensive housing. Just last year, the Tea Party killed a different housing development there.


Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Trump may hike national park entrance fees

America's national parks are a treasure. Many cost nothing to enter, and some charge only a nominal fee. These parks belong to the people.

Now the Trump regime - in the form of so-called Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke - is proposing hiking many of these fees - which would make them unaffordable for many folks. Right now, for instance, the fee for a vehicle to enter some parks is $25 to $30. Trump wants to raise it to $70 for 5 months out of the year. Entering these parks on foot costs $10 to $15 now. The national manbaby would hike it to $30.

This after the Trump thugocracy has already proposed a deep cut to the National Park Service budget.


Elder Bush accused of sexual assault

Can't believe my high school pretty much endorsed this guy for President. Actually, knowing my high school, I can believe it.

Former so-called President George H.W. Bush has now been accused of sexual assault by actress Heather Lind. Lind, 34, made a post on Instagram saying that the aging Bush groped her during a photo shoot while she was working on a TV show several years ago. After seeing a photo of former Presidents together, Lind wrote that "when I got the chance to meet George H. W. Bush four years ago to promote a historical television show I was working on, he sexually assaulted me while I was posing for a similar photo."

Lind said Bush "touched me from behind from his wheelchair with his wife Barbara Bush by his side. He told me a dirty joke. And then, all the while being photographed, touched me again. Barbara rolled her eyes as if to say 'not again.' His security guard told me I shouldn't have stood next to him for the photo."

The actress went on to say, "It seems to me a President's power is in his or her capacity to enact positive change, actually help people, and serve as a symbol of our democracy. He relinquished that power when he used it against me and, judging from the comments of those around him, countless other women before me."

Bush hasn't even denied the accusation.

What ever happened to the stories about Bush having an affair from years ago? If a Democrat had done something like that, it would've ended their political career lickety-split.


Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Facebook actually deletes hate propaganda!

Be still my beating heart! Facebook actually followed its own stated guidelines against posting hate propaganda!

As you know, Facepalm usually allows racist and classist propaganda to flow unabated - while deleting posts or accounts of folks who challenge it. Facebook's guidelines ostensibly disallow it, but this rule is almost never enforced.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon a right-wing Facebook page full of racist memes, so I reported it. I figured it was probably futile, but then again, I thought if Facepoo got enough complaints, maybe someday they'd turn over a new leaf.

Now Facebook has replied to me that they have deleted the offending content. They claim that they did not delete the whole page - even though hate propaganda is about all it consisted of. But at least some of the garbage is gone - I think.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

I'm home, I'm home, I'm home!

As many of you know, I was on a trip to Big Bend National Park over the past few days. As a national park, it belongs to the people.

A bunker blast was detected at a gas station, and a Jack Nicholson look-alike was sighted. I plan to include more details about this trip in the next Last Word. But I could do hardly any hiking, because I don't have the energy. I also sprained my knee climbing into my tent, but I had no energy long before that.

Also, at a Pilot gas station in Sulphur Springs, Texas, some woman bubbled.

Friday, October 13, 2017

Fash! Aa-aah!

When I was in grade school, one of my classmates' favorite songs was "Flash" by Queen: "Flash! Aa-aah!" (Yet one of my favorites was a Christopher Cross song all because the rhythm of it was hilariously likened to the sound of bubble gum popping, and everyone knows bubble gum is cool.)

It would be nifty if "Weird Al" Yankovic made a parody of "Flash" called "Fash" to poke fun at fascists far and wide. I privately referred to one of my high school classmates as Fash because this student was a fascist (as quite a few were).

A video would also come in handy. I just discovered that some right-wing nutball has been infiltrating local progressive causes for years, and it would be cool to have a video of "Fash" to post on this person's Facebook timeline just to show they're busted.

Another gaslighter for the bozo bin

You can disagree with people without trotting out a classist canard.

There's been some discussion today on the Greater Cincinnati Politics page on Facebook about right-wing private schools trying to take over public school boards. Some of the usual suspects chimed in and said private schools are superior - but provided no evidence and didn't even expand on this statement.

I responded that private schools were inferior. I was met with a reply that this notion reflected "unsubstantiated rumors." "Unsubstantiated"??? It's not "unsubstantiated." I experienced it myself.

To deny what happened is gaslighting. And it is truly classist.

As a result, I blocked this commenter on Facebook.

She's actually not from greater Cincinnati. She moved to the area from hundreds of miles away. I'm not sure why the area was getting so many reactionary weirdoes to move in. This would have been a better location for Donald Trump's idiotic wall.