I was at Arby's in Bellevue for lunch today, and something mighty blasted uproarious happened.
As I was devouring my lunchage, there was a man and woman sitting right behind me complaining about the quality of their meal. Finally, the man summoned the cashier over to their table. The man angrily told the cashier, "This sandwich ain't worth a shit." He was loud enough that most other customers in that part of the restaurant could clearly hear him.
As the couple was leaving the restaurant, the woman complained, "We got ripped off."
'Twas kinda neat!
Friday, August 21, 2015
I was at Arby's in Bellevue for lunch today, and something mighty blasted uproarious happened.
Posted by Bandit at 4:28 PM
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
The latest edition of The Last Word is finally here, and it stings like a butterfly and floats like a bee!
This ish talks about phone troubles of recent months, an Oregon town with penis-shaped highway posts, the right-wing leanings of a 1980s singer, and more!
So point your pooper here...
Posted by Bandit at 5:48 PM
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Following the death of civil rights activist Julian Bond, we're reminded that refusal to abide by free and fair elections isn't entirely new among progress's opponents - who once denied Bond a legislative seat that he had won.
Back in 1965, Bond was one of several African-Americans elected to the Georgia House - right after the Voting Rights Act opened up voting registration. But when Bond's term started in 1966, fellow lawmakers refused to let him take office because he opposed the Vietnam War.
Bond took his case to the U.S. Supreme Court, which unanimously ruled in his favor. (This was a much different Supreme Court from the one that gutted the Voting Rights Act not long ago.)
Later in life, Bond was a critic of the George W. Bush regime, because Bush had seized power through election fraud.
Julian Bond had won an election fair and square, but initially wasn't allowed to take office. Yet Bush stole an election and took office right on time. In fact, Bush stole more than one election. I don't think Bush ever legitimately won an election to any public office - even when it looked like a blowout. Didn't one of the networks post the result of the 1998 Texas gubernatorial "election" before most voting had even started? A decade earlier, Bushaganda was already being transmitted by the right-wing media to put the Bush crime family in charge, and anyone who dissented was up against zillions of dollars' worth of the Bushes' Orwellian behavior modification program.
Posted by Bandit at 11:20 AM
Saturday, August 15, 2015
It took a few years, but it looks like I got lucky when I wound up living in Bellevue, Kentucky. Bellevue was a gray mill town when I first moved in, but now it's a city ready to enter the 21st century.
I know this, because it's attracted its own Facebook group - which has all of 14 members - to complain about a "liberal" takeover of the city. And, buy gum, I think the page is actually serious. It was started by a guy who uses Tea Party imagery in his Facepoo profile, so you can bet your bizcream it's serious.
Here's his description of the group: "A open forum to discuss the progressive, hipster, liberal agenda in Bellevue and the negative impact they create." When someone asked what the group was about, he replied in part, "It's an open forum or should I say open season (figuratively speaking) on hipsters, liberals, and transients that have influenced Bellevue the past few years."
Hipsters, liberals, and transients, oh my! That plen-T-plaint manages to assail a wide swath of left-leaning politics all in one convenient swoop. It includes the vertical dimension of the Political Compass (hipsters), the horizontal dimension (transients), and every combination of the above.
The founder of that group also groaned, "That's why the nativity scene was moved from Nagel Park. These 'progressive' types move in and start organizing. They have meetings where they break off into small groups and brainstorm how to change the norm. They have an agenda and removing God is on the list!" No, you idiot, the Nativity was moved so it could have more visibility. I didn't even know the Nativity existed until it was moved to a more prominent place. Plus, there were progressives living in Bellevue long before the Nativity was moved - so it's not like they invaded the city, like the Tea Party has done to rural counties. Around 1905, in fact, the city was even the site of a library run by the Socialist Party.
But if Bellevue is as left-wing as Team Tyranny claims, why hasn't it passed its own minimum wage law or even a fairness ordinance? I'd love to see the looks on the Tea Party's stupid faces if Bellevue passes either of those laws.
In the meantime, I guess I can take some comfort in living in the only city in the area that I know of with its own Facebook page attacking it for being too liberal.
Posted by Bandit at 6:08 PM
Friday, August 14, 2015
Since this is a day ending in y, there's a brand new scandal surrounding Republican gubernatorial candidate Matt Bevin - which the right-wing media is of course ignoring.
Bevin owned a bell factory in Connecticut that burned down in 2012. Back in 2011, an OSHA inspection found serious safety violations at Bevin's factory. The inspection was prompted by an employee complaint and found 11 violations, including 3 that put workers at risk of "danger of death or extremely serious injury or illness."
The violations resulted in Bevin being fined $25,880. After informal settlements, Bevin had to pay $12,575.
What a beezweezer.
Posted by Bandit at 5:09 PM
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
About the Far Right: They losed.
Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis has been a Tea Party wunderkind since she began disobeying the Supreme Court ruling in June that established marriage equality as the law of the land. After Davis was sued, her followers held a rally supporting her in front of the federal courthouse in Covington. I heckled Davis's supporters, as you'll recall.
Today, Team Tyranny lost the suit - forcing Davis to begin properly issuing marriage licenses.
Get out of the way, conservos.
Posted by Bandit at 6:56 PM
Right smack dab during summer vacation season, folks all over the Midwest are about to face an increase in gasoline prices of 25 to 50 cents per gallon. And it's all because of one "unplanned" outage at a BP refinery in Indiana.
"Unplanned"? I don't believe that. Not for a second. Just weeks after a story about gas prices staying relatively low - at least by recent standards - there's a nicely timed outage. I think this outage was intentional to keep fuel prices high - especially since that refinery just underwent a major upgrade.
This price-gouging once again underscores the need to nationalize the oil industry - especially when dealing with foreign monopolistic corporations like BP.
Posted by Bandit at 10:26 AM
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Why did embattled Kenton County Sheriff Chuck Korzenborn - who praised a deputy who tortured grade school children - wear his sheriff uniform while participating in a Matt Bevin rally?
Several years ago, a sheriff in Florida was investigated for wearing his uniform at a partisan event - for it seemed to violate the Hatch Act. This is considered a prohibited use of a uniform during partisan activity. What Korzenborn did is no different. Not in the least bit.
Under the Hatch Act, the penalty for Korzenborn violating this regulation can be as steep as removal from office - or suspension of federal funds for the sheriff's department.
Posted by Bandit at 7:27 PM
I goed to Cleveland yesterday and returned home today. In addition to Cuyahoga Valley National Park, I also visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. While I was bipping through the crowded museum, I briefly detected a whiff of an SBD bunker blast. It was short but very real.
Also, I saw 2 people who were in such a rockin' mood that they bubbled. A person bubbled at the museum, and then a person bubbled in the parking garage as we were leaving the museum.
Posted by Bandit at 3:53 PM
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Another scandal in the Republican Party of Kentucky??? And just when they needed it least???
Jesse Benton was a campaign manager for Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, and now he's managing the campaign of Mike Harmon, Republican candidate for Kentucky Auditor. Now Benton and 2 other GOP mucketymucks have been indicted by a federal grand jury for actions during the 2012 presidential campaign of Rand Paul's daddy, Ron Paul. Benton is charged with conspiracy and other misdeeds connected to the alleged filing of false campaign finance records. The indictment says a Republican legislator in Iowa threw his support behind Ron Paul following an exchange of money involving Benton.
The party that The Media thinks is owed control of all of Kentucky government strikes again.
Posted by Bandit at 2:32 PM
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
This evening at Kroger on the north side of Cold Spring, I saw some guy who looked just like Mitch Miller (goateed bandleader known for his 1960s TV show)! It was hilarious! This was the funniest celebrity look-alike I've seen in ages! A family member agreed that he strongly resembled Mitch Miller. Or maybe he looked like an Occupy mask.
Posted by Bandit at 11:02 PM
Monday, August 3, 2015
If anyone did something like this to my kids, they'd get their fucking jaw broken.
A sheriff's deputy who patrols Covington public schools is under heavy criticism for shackling 2 elementary school students who attend a special education class. The deputy tightly locked handcuffs around the children's upper arms and violently forced their hands behind their backs.
This is an open-and-shut case of torture. I don't give a shit what anybody else says.
Now the parents have sued the deputy and Kenton County's Tea Party sheriff Chuck Korzenborn for inadequately supervising the deputy and violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.
There's plenty of negative stories about police lately, and being caught torturing 3½-foot-tall schoolchildren doesn't help matters.
Posted by Bandit at 10:47 PM
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Did you know that the Peace Bike and I went Roads Scholaring in Over-the-Rhine and West End in July? And did you know that it pibbed the crazy Cincinnati way, yielding 12 still photos and a video to boot?
You bet your bizcream I did, and you're gonna peep every blasted one of them. So point your pooper here...
Posted by Bandit at 12:39 PM
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Ladies and gentlemen, progressive populists of all ages, I'm as pleased as pee to introduce to you a brand bippus-bustin' new project that'll knock your socks clean off your footsies!
This project features detailed maps showing the level of influence of the hated Tea Party in 8 counties in the Cincinnati area. Why do I bring you these maps? So you can learn not to burn! Thanks to these maps, you'll have a better idea of what parts of town are the trouble spots, so you can act accordingly. And make no mistake, the trouble spots are those dominated by the Tea Party. No question about it (to use one of the favorite sayings of Team Tyranny blunderbuss Matt Bevin). It is your right and your duty to help drive out right-wing authoritarian extremism from your community.
Knowledge is power!
On these maps, darker shades of red indicate a more militant Tea Party presence. This is determined by a variety of factors, including voting patterns, political donations, labor laws, and public scandals.
Do what cool people do, by pointing your pooper here to view these amazing maps...
Posted by Bandit at 9:07 PM
It's been a damn long time since I've done this feature, but I've just found an old Sesame Street segment that I'd forgotten about for over 35 years, and can't resist analyzing it here!
Back in the '70s, Sesame Street was a forward-thinking show. But here's one sketch where it went backwards - literally! This segment taught kids the concept of backwards by showing a man in an Uncle Al hat and Colonel Sanders suit walking along city streets while everything around him moves in reverse. The music alone makes this segment worth watching...
The music in that skit is truly hard to beat! After hearing that music again, I remember a song that was briefly popular on the radio in the late '70s that sounded like this, and I remember calling it "The Backwards Song." The music was composed by Edd Kalehoff, who also wrote much of the music for The Price Is Right - making him a wealthy man indeed.
It must have been a barrel of laughs to film this segment. Clearly, the man was actually walking backwards in a crowded city, while everyone else was staring at him like he was some sort of weirdo.
Near the end of the clip, a sign in the background suggests it was filmed in Philadelphia.
The Sesame Street of old needs to come back with a vengeance!
Posted by Bandit at 11:32 AM
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
As far-right Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker vies for the presidency, he managed to make a complete spectacle of himself campaigning in Philadelphia, where he stopped by 2 sandwich shops.
At the first shop, Walker boorishly stampeded to the front of the line to order his sandwich, cutting in front of other customers.
Then, at the other sandwich shop, he took only one bite out of his sandwich and wasted the rest. He left the remainder of his sandwich sitting on a wrapper on a table in the shop's outdoor seating area - forcing the shop's employees to clean up after him.
Meanwhile, local residents protested him.
Posted by Bandit at 11:55 PM
Monday, July 27, 2015
Somebody said something funny on Facepoo!
I'm being serious! They actually said something truly funny, which seems to have silenced one of our local decrepit right-wingers!
There's a Facebook group titled "Old Photos Of Cincinnati", which is intended for old photos of Cincinnati. It's not meant for political tirades - though the self-righteous suburban establishment that thinks they're smarter than everyone else doesn't grasp this.
Recently, someone posted a photo from the '50s of a public housing development in West End. Predictably, some ultraconservative blowhard who probably hasn't set foot within city limits in years replied, "Another failed social experiment."
Here's where it gets good. Somebody (not me) responded, "you must be talking about yourself!"
In the immortal words of Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane: I love it, I love it, I love it!
Posted by Bandit at 1:17 PM
Sunday, July 26, 2015
According to delusional white supremacists who inexplicably think their opinion matters, Jeb Bush is presidential material.
But according to normal people, Bush has no business being anywhere near a position of public trust. He just proved it again while speaking at an event sponsored by the far-right Americans for Prosperity. During this address, Bush declared America should "phase out" Medicare. MSNBC's Steve Benen said Bush's position of abolishing Medicare is extreme even among Republicans - since most GOP diehards have enough political sense not to publicly advocate abolishing it, even if they want it abolished.
But that may be changing. Look how extreme Republican candidates have to be now to win their party's primary - even if it destroys them in the general election. And if it isn't extreme policy positions, it's actual scandals. Jamie Comer's domestic violence scandal actually boosted him to within 83 votes of winning the primary!
Posted by Bandit at 12:59 PM
Saturday, July 25, 2015
It's been years since I've done this feature, but I've found such a ridiculous example of a bubble gum commercial that I couldn't resist analyzing it here.
Nobody bubbled in this Bubble Yum ad from 1986. In fact, nobody even chewed gum. The ad is a sweepstakes promotion in which chewers and blowers could win He-Man or She-Ra action figures...
According to the commersh, you win if one of the inner wrappers for one of the individually wrapped slabs o' BG inside a pack of Bubble Yum is emblazoned with the words "YOU WON!" But the ad also features these words on the screen: "NO PURCHASE NECESSARY."
Uh, how do you know what the inner wrapper says if you don't actually buy the product?
The winning wrappers also instruct chewers and blowers to consult the outer wrapper to claim their prize. Yes, the outer wrapper that inevitably gets torn to shreds by chewers and blowers digging into their favorite sweet. I've been around bubble gum enough to know things like this. The text on the screen in the commercial also says you have a 1 in 59 chance of winning. Sorry, I don't think the odds are anywhere near that good. I remember people in 1986 chewing Bubble Yum like it was going out of style, and I don't remember anyone winning this game. There was some girl in my 8th grade class who constantly shoveled huge piles of Bubble Yum into her cavernous mouth at the close of each school day. I can't believe she didn't burn through 59 pieces in a single week. Yet I never saw her playing with He-Man toys.
She better claim her prize soon, because the ad says prizes must be claimed by December 31, 1986.
Posted by Bandit at 5:09 PM
Monday, July 20, 2015
The Far Right has been doubling down in the month since marriage equality became law nationwide, and in few places is this more so than in Kentucky!
In 2 of the state's 120 counties - Casey and Rowan - the county clerk still won't abide by the marriage equality ruling. This has prompted a federal lawsuit against Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis to ensure compliance.
This morning, as the case was heard at the federal courthouse in Covington, antigay agitators held a rally in front of the courthouse. There were almost as many counterprotesters, despite the very short notice. The local media says there were only about 6 marriage equality supporters there, but that simply isn't true.
I know this, because I saw it.
And antigay agitators were heckled - by me! You can't bring right-wing rallies to my area and expect me not to challenge it. It doesn't matter whether it's FairTax, pro-war, or antigay - you'll hear about it. I focus on economic issues more than others, but my work is as close as you can get to a "three-legged stool" of progressivism around here. Accordingly, I rode on the Peace Bike past the bigots and declared, "Your side lost. Get over it."
No truer words were ever spoken, but I've never seen the Far Right double down so much after losing - especially after a big court decision. I can't imagine they'll win this round after losing in the Supreme Court.
Posted by Bandit at 7:42 PM
Sunday, July 19, 2015
It's not every day that a big city will actually take the backward step of removing a bike lane from a road. But Tea Party agitators are pushing Cincinnati to do exactly that to the recently installed bike lanes on Central Parkway.
Team Tyranny is trotting out numbers that purport to show an increase in crashes along the stretch with the bike path. What they don't tell you though is that these accidents were caused not by the bike lane itself, but by idiots illegally parking their cars in either the bike lane or in one of the many automobile lanes.
Some city officials are wise enough to admit the Tea Party is full of WaftGas as usual, and said the real problem was that the city waited so long to get bike lanes in the first place. But mark my words, the Tea Party will double down. They always do. They never stop stamping their little feet until they get their way - and the more they're proven wrong, the louder they scream. There were fears at first that the Central Parkway bike lane would somehow contribute to traffic congestion, but now that we know it hasn't, the Tea Party has to come up with other excuses for removing the lane.
Posted by Bandit at 7:05 PM
The Tea Party is in full loom-and-doom mode in Lumberton, Mississippi, and it shows.
There's hardly any right-wing policy that the Lumberton School District doesn't display in plain sight. It has an unconstitutional uniform policy, it requires students in extracurricular activities to take a drug test, and it still employs paddling as a disciplinary measure.
Also - shockingly enough - the school district discriminates against students who are pregnant. The student handbook scolds, "Anticipated absences due to pregnancy should be made up prior to the due date in order to avoid exceeding the maximum number of absences and therefore forfeiting school credit."
Threatening to take away school credit because a student is pregnant? This has to be the only public school district in America in the past 20 years that I know of with such a policy. Students who have excused absences for other reasons aren't treated this shabbily.
Posted by Bandit at 2:04 PM
Saturday, July 18, 2015
It's bad enough that North Carolina recently passed an unconstitutional ALEC-backed ag-gag bill. Now a new Republican bill in the Tar Heel State would criminalize whistleblowers altogether.
This bill was also based on ALEC "model legislation." It would ban whistleblowing against any business and certain other establishments. It covers elder care facilities, daycare centers, and charter schools - among many other places.
A book like The Fight That Never Ends that exposes public and private schools would be banned. (Guess what state the publisher is based in?)
Lawmakers have refused to allow a vote on whether to change the bill to shield whistleblowers who succeed at uncovering illegal activity.
It's almost farcical. But it's actually a very serious matter.
I've actually considered the prospect that 7-Cent Joe might introduce a bill to crack down on books that expose private schools - after a school in his district was exposed. It's exactly the sort of thing he'd do.
Posted by Bandit at 11:13 AM
I was slogging through today's blab allotment this morning, and found a rather interesting statement in a Las Vegas Sun article about exclusive private schools demanding government handouts.
A sentence in the article jumped out at me...
"The state teacher's union urged caution, saying regulations also need to include accountability measures for private schools that receive state money."
Uh, why are private schools receiving state money in the first place? Doesn't the Constitution have something to say about this? Of course it violates the U.S. Constitution, but Nevada is one of 38 states that has its own constitutional provision specifically prohibiting such expenditures.
A specific amendment to the U.S. Constitution almost passed once before, and I'm inclined to say the idea should be revived. But I don't know how much good it would do, considering how lawmakers violate similar state constitutional provisions. (Kentucky, Ohio, and Indiana also have these provisions, which are violated to some extent in all 3 states.)
Posted by Bandit at 10:19 AM
Friday, July 17, 2015
A local suburb is in the throes of a right-wing pogrom against the poor, and city officials seem happy to help it along.
Imperial Apartments in Fort Thomas has been the target of unending wrath by residents of a rich subdivision behind the buildings. They blame apartment residents every time something in the neighborhood goes wrong.
Some Imperial residents are relatively poor, and rents at Imperial are very low by local suburban standards. So what? That doesn't mean they're criminals. They're folks like me and you. One of the worst crime waves in Fort Thomas recently - a series of random street assaults - was perpetrated by rich kids from other suburbs. Nobody from Imperial had anything to do with it.
But the rich of Fort Thomas wanted something done about Imperial, dammit, and now they've gotten what they wanted. The apartment buildings are being sold to new owners who are renaming the buildings to the Grandeur and jacking up the rents by almost 40%. This action was encouraged by City Council members.
The buildings' new managers boast that they're evicting all the tenants - regardless of whether they did anything wrong. The city is letting them do it. Of course.
Plus, the wealthy residents of the subdivision behind the apartments have demanded that the city pressure the new owners into rejecting Section 8 tenants. Just because. I can understand if a building owner doesn't accept Section 8 because it creates a lot of red tape, but for a third party to demand that someone else's building disallow Section 8 is unjustified and unwarranted.
It gets even worse. One of the nearby residents complaining about Imperial launched into a Facebook tirade in which he also assailed Muslims. He said of the apartments, "I hope they blow it up and put a memorial of their scuzlim leader their [sic] reading 'I tried to provide free housing but failed as everything else I do'. Then I'll hang a confederate flag through his temple." It wasn't free housing, dummy.
Stories like this bolster my belief that there's not much hope for America outside the central cities. Thank heavens we have our cities, because it's our cities that carry the day for America. Count your blessings, and thank the cities.
Posted by Bandit at 1:53 PM
Thursday, July 16, 2015
This month's issue of The Last Word was again delayed by errands, but now it's finally pub!
This edition reminisces about a stupid miniature golf course that doesn't want your business. Oh, and also people wiping their asses with poison ivy.
So point your pooper here...
Posted by Bandit at 8:46 PM
Another record, courtesy of the gutter cult of climate change denial.
From June 15 to July 14, Cincinnati received almost 10.5 inches of rain - the most during that timeframe of any year since 1871.
It's so bad that concerts at Riverbend have been canceled due to flooding.
Want to argue? Even the local media - which has a history of downplaying flooding rains - now says the denialists are wrong:
Posted by Bandit at 2:24 PM
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Constitutional rights? If you're in the New Albany-Floyd County school district in Indiana, forget it.
The district is planning on implementing a new policy requiring students to take a drug test - and not just those who participate in athletics or extracurricular activities.
The American Academy of Pediatrics opposes drug testing in schools, because it's ineffective. But a greater point is that it violates constitutional protections against unreasonable searches. Indiana courts have already outlawed school drug testing even if it's limited only to athletes and members of school clubs. The greatest point of all is that this ruling is rooted in constitutional law - the law of the land.
So how does the Floyd County school system expect to enact drug testing? By bipping? With so many of America's schools run by people who hold the Constitution in contempt, I have no doubt Floyd County will try to find a way around the ruling and even disobey it outright.
Posted by Bandit at 4:09 PM
Monday, July 13, 2015
Here's another reason why the climate change deniers need to have their mouths sewn shut.
For 30 years, the festivities surrounding baseball's All-Star Game have included something called the All-Star Home Run Derby. The derby was scheduled to take place in Cincinnati today, but is likely to be rained out. The only other time it's been rained out was also the only other time it was to be held in Cincinnati.
That was in 1988 - during our so-called "drought." Yes, the same "drought" that famously rained all over Bruce Hornsby's prized piano.
That was the local media's idea of a "drought." Rain, rain, and more rain. According to Weather Underground, average rainfall for Cincinnati for July is 3.85 inches - one of the highest in America. Yet July 1988 saw 4.38 inches.
The Media called that a "drought."
One day alone got 2.39 inches.
That's a "drought."
Yes, abnormally high rainfall in an area that gets a lot of rain even in average years is a "drought" - according to climate change skeptics. Other regions may have had a drought. We didn't.
July 1988 was even wetter than Weather Underground says. Their website lists no rain at all on July 18, but I know for a fact it rained a lot that day, because I remember exactly what I was doing. (Never argue with my long-term memory, because you will likely lose.) The website shows that it also rained on the day of the All-Star Game itself.
Saying there was a "drought" in Cincinnati in 1988 is not like right-wing climate change denial. It is right-wing climate change denial. It's no different from the talk radio droids who continue to spread their lying propaganda today denying climate change. And it serves the same corporate greed-driven aims. It doesn't sound like the same thing as their standard fare, but trust me, it is very much the same thing.
Incidentally, this year's actual All-Star Game might get rained out. This has never happened in the game's 82-year history. But with climate change a reality, there's a very strong chance of it.
I'm waiting for the day Cincinnati finally gets a real drought and The Media denies it.
Posted by Bandit at 12:10 PM
Saturday, July 11, 2015
With the All-Star Game coming to Cincinnati next week - gee, I don't remember voting for this - local taxpayers are on the hook for millions of extra dollars, and police resources are being drained from the rest of the city, putting residents at risk.
And if you're attending the Demi Lovato concert at Paul Brown Stadium tonight, you really have to watch out! That's because pretty much everything is banned. The thought guardians released a voluminous list of things that concertgoers aren't allowed to bring to the stadium. (Ooh, an Allowed Cloud!) They range from thermoses to "indecent" clothes to just about everything else.
The stadium will be searching folks with a metal detector and checking bags.
This is acceptable in a supposedly free country because...?
I repeat: This is acceptable in a supposedly free country because...?
Posted by Bandit at 11:31 AM