Monday, January 23, 2017

I support the protesters

Before anyone asks, I fully support the women's march and satellite events that took place over the weekend all over America. The D.C. event was the biggest protest in America's history, and attendance dwarfed Trump's inauguration many times over.

I also fully support Friday's protests in D.C. against the inauguration itself. Those who are urging the Army to beat protesters are sowing bigotry and extremism.

I fully support efforts to fight Trump-inspired Nazi vandalism that has recently plagued local schools and institutions, and I am urging prosecution to the fullest extent against the assailant in the recent Trump-linked hate crime in Wilder (which The Media has yet to report).

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Facebook founder suing landowners to force them to sell

Judging by the way Facebook deletes posts and yanks accounts for disagreeing with the Far Right, this story isn't much of a surprise.

Companies controlled by Facepoo founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg are suing hundreds of people on the Hawaiian island of Kauai in an effort to force them to sell him their land - totaling over 8 acres. The billionaire wants them to sell because his own beachfront land surrounds these parcels, and he's mad because these landowners have to use his land to access their land.

The landowners have had their land in their families for hundreds of years.

I bet Mark Fuckerberg wishes Hawaii had a feudalist governor like Matt Bevin.


Have no fear, the February ish is here!

Sorry to disappoint you, but out of 19 articles in the latest ish of The Last Word, only 5 of them are primarily about gum.

But this 14-pager is one of the thickest editions in years, and it has so many nifty things for you to peep and weep. In this issue...

• I proudly break the law with my new electric bike.

• We were denied a youth center.

• People poop on stuff.

• Kroger sells Freedent nobody buys.

• Being cool.

• The Internet argues about bubble gum.

• A person rips out their braces because they didn't want or need them.

• Someone burned something at school.

• A person wiped boogers on stuff.

• A folder got ruined by gum.

• And more!

If you can still access The Last Word on Scribd, point your pooper here...

Otherwise, you can find the latest ish here...

Friday, January 20, 2017

Tim's rock video

Back when I was about 10, I came up with an idea for a music video! It was for a song that hadn't been written yet, but trust me, you'll love my idea, because of the Sesame Street reference...

Workers quit because of prevailing wage repeal

The Kentucky GOP still hasn't provided a reason why they repealed prevailing wage or told us who they're trying to appeal to. Oh well, to each their own, I guess.

Now a construction firm in central Kentucky has informed its workers that - because of prevailing wage repeal - pay for scale jobs is dropping from $23 to $15/hour, while pay for non-scale jobs is being reduced from $15 to $11/hour. Plus, their allowance for hotel stays for out-of-town jobs is being eliminated entirely - so they have to pay for lodging out of their own paychecks.

At the snap of a finger, the Republican Party of Kentucky has managed to slash wages by 35%. Just because they felt like it.

Following this announcement, 15 workers at this company promptly quit their jobs.

What's the point in even trying to work when Damon Thayer just steals your money and gives it to billionaires?

(Incidentally, the Boone County Schools actively campaigned for prevailing wage repeal. This is just the latest example of our local schools politicizing everything.)

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Iowa uniform bill stalls

A Republican bill in Iowa that would allow public schools to force kids to wear uniforms has stalled.

Right-wingers claim to be for smaller government, but they lie. Their support of this bill proves they lie.

Republican State Sen. Brad Zaun championed the bill - though the topic might be a bit of a sore spot in Iowa, for Iowa was the state that inspired the Tinker v. Des Moines ruling, which banned public school uniforms. The Iowa State Education Association opposed the bill because it ran roughshod over on freedom of expression. Democratic Sen. Herman Quirmbach also spoke against it. He said of the bill, "We are infringing on people's constitutional rights. That is not a trivial thing to do."

But Republicans do it all the time.


A person bunkerooed at Kroger

About Kroger: A person bunkerooed there.

Today after my dentist appointment, I goed Krogering at the Bellevue location. Operation KroGum did of course continue, and someone ripped an LAP bunker blast while I was in the part of the store that sold chips and crackers. The audio was unmistakable. It was a roo.

Best all, there was a police incident too. I saw cops gathering near the store's back room near the deodorant and talking about how they were reviewing surveillance video of something.

Kentucky GOP thugs attack Miles accuser

This story shows you what sort of criminals fill the Republican Party of Kentucky.

Back in September, a jury indicted GOP zillionaire Billy Joe Miles - former chair of the University of Kentucky's board of trustees - for allegedly raping a woman. Miles is well-connected. In fact, his daughter is fascist State Rep. Suzanne Miles.

Right after the indictment, Billy Joe Miles's accuser became the target of threats and outright assaults. She received a threatening message on Facebook from one of Miles's thugs. Then someone threw a hammer through her windshield from a passing vehicle as she was driving. Sometime later, the car burst into flames while she was driving it. She also received 6 harassing phone calls in only 3 minutes that appeared to be from one of Miles's daughters.

Now the state has taken over the prosecution, because Miles has too many political connections in Daviess County. Miles may face up to 45 years in prison, but he's 77.

Are we done living in denial about the violence, hate, and corruption of the Kentucky GOP?


Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Road Ruiner premortem

The Road Ruiner is here!

But wait! You didn't expect it to not be defective, did you? Guess what? It is. I'm using it anyway.

The Road Ruiner is a bicycle that happens to have a small electric motor that you can use to navigate greater Cincinnati's otherwise impassable hills. It looks just like a regular bike, and it didn't cost much more than the Peace Bike did when I buyed it 13 years ago. But there's a few problems. That's in addition to the fact that the assembly instructions are absolutely terrible.

It's clear I was sold a bike that someone had returned, even though it was advertised as new. There's a huge scrape on the frame. But that's only cosmetic. It's sort of like my punk rocker teeth. Nothing I'd ever lose sleep over or spend any money to fix.

There's more serious problems though. The left pedal that came with the Road Ruiner couldn't be installed, because the threads were stripped. So I had to remove a pedal from the Peace Bike and use it instead.

The seat can't be adjusted any higher than its lowest level, because if you do, your weight just shoves it back down. This is useful only for extremely short people. Also, the gear shifters do not work. At all. One of the brakes does not work. At all.

But the motor works. I think. I haven't gone any further than a couple houses away with it yet, because it's poured down rain all day.

This is the major purchase I was talking about that might be illegal in Kentucky. If the Road Ruiner is illegal, I've already kablammoed that Allowed Cloud clean into the stratosphere by testing it. I don't follow your laws, Bevster.

West Chester tries passing "right-to-work" law

When officials in West Chester Township, north of Cincinnati, aren't falling over theirselves to stop people from beating off to Playboy, they're trying to fleece workers to subsidize nonunion labor.

Although Ohio is not a right-to-scab state, township officials want to pass their own "right-to-work" law. This despite the fact that a federal court just threw out such a law in a Chicago suburb.

Workers have attended the township government meeting to protest the move.


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Hate crime in Wilder

There was a hate crime in Wilder this morning.

A Hispanic employee of United Dairy Farmers was subjected to a diatribe of racial slurs. The assailant was a male in a green Toyota pickup.

Brossart territory. Again.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Bill would ban unionization of federal employees

If you're an America-hating fuck, you support this bill.

A new bill introduced by Nazi Rep. Todd Rokita (R-Indiana) - who was previously known for his racist comments - would outlaw labor unions for new federal employees. It also applies to agencies such as the postal service. This bill is of course unconstitutional, but that never stops assholes like Rokita.

The bill says of federal workers: "Such an employee may be removed or suspended, without notice or right to appeal, from service by the head of the agency at which such employee is employed for good cause, bad cause, or no cause at all." This clause is even worse than it sounds. Not only does it let bosses fire people just because, but these managers may be political appointees.

Hey, I know what I'll do. I'll chew gum and blow a bubble so the problem goes away.


Illinois suburb's right-to-scab law thrown out

Don't look now, but the town of Lincolnshire, Illinois - where we once got ejected from a ridiculous miniature golf course - has just found its anti-worker "right-to-work" ordinance thrown out in federal court.

But this ruling doesn't erase the unconstitutional "right-to-work" laws that gunk things up statewide in 27 states. At the same time, however, it doesn't say cities in so-called "right-to-work" states can't opt out of their state laws. Not like I expect them to have the spine to do it.


Sunday, January 8, 2017

Tim parodies ketchup ad

Tim uses an old Heinz ketchup commercial to coolsplain the influence of bubble gum...

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Prevailing wage repeal??? Really???

Republicans in the Kentucky legislature just hit dumbdirt. Their underpants-staining disregard for democratic institutions this week is unprecedented in American history for any state legislature.

A host of unpopular right-wing bills have sailed through the legislature this week and will become law, such as Dan Johnson's misnamed "right-to-work" bill. But perhaps the most hated bill among these is the repeal of Kentucky's prevailing wage.

Lawmakers are actually lowering wages??? Seriously??? Man, did they just step in a big pile. Who is this law supposed to appeal to (in Kentucky, no less)? How are they going to richsplain this to voters?

A more detailed analysis of the Kentucky GOP is beneath my dignity - and I don't live to please them anyway. Even when a person isn't directly affected by the party's ideas, you'd think they'd have enough pride in their state not to tolerate it. But prevailing wage repeal will have a real negative impact. You may notice that a lot of school buildings built before prevailing wage was enacted are of shoddy quality.

And for those who say I should keep quiet because I don't work for a state contractor, tough toilets. You can't be sure I've never asked to work for one - and was rejected because it was some Republican business that won a state contract because of its political ties.

A few words about a couple other new Republican laws: Their abortion laws violate Roe v. Wade. End of story.

Tim rocks strabismus!

After I posted my video that showcased my amazing missing tooth, you knew the next thing I was going to rock was my strabismus.

I have a new YouTube video where I try to educate you about how cool this optical disorder is, and I try to show you how I'm able to cross my eye...

I repeat, you're only allowed to do that if you're cool.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

I almost violated an Allowed Cloud without realizing it

Something just occurred to me about a major purchase I'm making.

I buyed something costly. Low triple digits, but costly by my standards. For the record, it's not a weapon. I'll probably have the item next week.

I wasn't even thinking about the legality of it. I just figured it was an item that not only greatly facilitates something I'm already doing, but is probably necessary to have, considering the circumstances. But then it dawned on me that some crackpot might try to make an Allowed Cloud out of it.

As it turns out, our team of legal eagles says I'm in the clear in almost all 50 states. But guess what? Kentucky is not of them.

Too fucking bad. I'm doing what I want. Instead of violating an Allowed Cloud without realizing it, now I'm doing it knowingly. I don't give a shit.

2017 Tim forms

The Kentucky legislature has truly spread the stupid on thick this week - but the 2017 Tim is here to not merely challenge it, but defy it.

No real Kentuckian is happy about lawmakers' agenda. But I may be less disappointed than any other normal person, because at least they've brung it to me instead of confining it to some distant territory where I won't get the chance to fight it. I'll cork open the bevs and bask in the fact that when Kentucky collapses, I'm not the one who is going to have to explain theirselves.

I have much more confidence now than any time in decades. I will call people out - and not just on this blog. That's the 2017 Tim.

Try me. I'm not just asking questions anymore. I'm demanding answers. If you've talked to me at length in person in recent days, you'll know what I mean.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Ridiculous orange juice commersh found

This is usually a serious political blog, but let's kick off '17 with a Snuffleupagus moment!

For years, I've been insisting there was a TV ad for the orange juice industry in which a person slowly and dramatically lifts the glass of juice up to their mouth, before the commersh suddenly ends with the glass spilling the juice towards the viewer. It was one of those things that's just unintentionally hilarious. It looked absolutely ridiculous.

I thought for sure the ad aired around 1990. I remember a family member remarking on how silly it looked, and I thought for sure I was a teenager at the time. But I accidentally found it on YouTube while looking for something else, and it's dated 1979. It's in a collection of commercials from that era, and you have to fast-forward to 8:45...

Here's a synopsis of that commersh in case you're afraid a mallet might pop out of your computer screen and break your glasses if you visit YouPube: A man discovers a pitcher of orange juice in his fridge and proceeds to pour it into a glass. Dramatic music plays, and a smile grows on his face. He lifts the glass full of juice up to his mouth. But as the ad ends, instead of him drinking the juice, the glass slowly ejects juice into the viewer's face. The video freezes on a shot of the top of the glass with the juice spilling out.

You have to admit it looks totally ridiculous. It looks like he's about to spill orange juice all over the floor, thereby wasting it.

Monday, December 26, 2016

A person bunkerooed on Christmas (again)

The tradition continues!

Yesterday, at a Christmas Day family gathering, the scent of a silent-but-deadly bunker blast was twice briefly detected. As is usually the case, cries of accusation sprang up throughout the room, but no suspects could be indicted for this impeachable offense.

This was nothing compared to the uproarious marathon of Christmas flatulence that took place sometime around 2003, but we all knew that would be tough to top.

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Have no fear, the January ish is here!

Somebody somewhere chewed gum and thought it was funny. So funny, in fact, that the January ish of The Last Word is now pub, and it includes 4 - count 'em, 4 - stories that are primarily about bubble gum.

But there's other cool poo too! This edition also talks about my bad attitude and its relevance for today's youth, how I rocked my weight "problem", people monopolizing the bathroom, and more!

Unfortunately, Scribd blocks the latest ish for some viewers, so you can access it here instead...

If you're one of the few who can access it on Scribd, point your pooper here...

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

More proof we no longer have free speech

This story has completely ruined the holidays for me. I wanted to continue what had been a great day with a friend, but was confronted with this story. But I shouldn't be surprised.

In the 2014 "election", Kentucky State Sen. R.J. Palmer - a Winchester Democrat - was defeated in a shocking upset by far-right Republican challenger Ralph Alvarado. The Palmer campaign had run a TV ad claiming Alvarado - a doctor - was "getting rich off addiction" by overprescribing oxycodone to a criminal defendant.

It's unclear what was wrong with the ad. People accuse me of cashing in because I sued someone in small claims court or wrote a memoir about being harassed at school, so why isn't it fair game to accuse Alvarado of "getting rich off addiction"?

Alvarado filed a SLAPP lawsuit against Palmer and his political consultant Dale Emmons. And now - get this - a court has actually ordered Palmer to pay Alvarado $200,000.

What ever happened to free speech?

Hey, I think I'll sue someone for calling me an "unpatriotic patriotic bubble blower" or a "beaver teeth self" on the Internet. I feel like making $200,000 just for the asking.

We're in a war - a war of good versus evil. We have a condign right to prevail.


Tuesday, December 20, 2016

More election fraud in Kentucky nobody's going to do anything about

Wesley Morgan is categorically unfit for public office - his Facebook page made him appear barely even functional - and gasps were heard when the Tea Party Republican upset Democratic State Rep. Rita Smart by only 76 votes in a Richmond-area district.

But now Smart has uncovered a series of irregularities in that election. In fact, I don't have any doubt that these irregularities were outright election fraud by the Republicans.

Smart told the Madison County Elections Board of these suspicious errors. Among these irregularities, a couple who tried voting for Smart by absentee ballot was given a ballot for the wrong district (where a Republican was unopposed, because freedom). Incorrect ballots were also distributed at another precinct - affecting a Richmond City Commission race. Smart also said some voters told her they no longer voted because they were treated rudely by poll workers.

The elections board did of course refuse to do anything about these complaints.


Monday, December 19, 2016

Interior pick supported white supremacists

Because The Media is racist, they've largely ignored the fact that fascist Rep. Ryan Zinke (R-Montana) has accepted campaign donations from Earl Holt, who heads the white supremacist Council of Conservative Citizens. The CCC inspired Dylann Roof's murderous rampage against blacks at a South Carolina church.

Zinke has also promoted his legislative agenda with an organization called ProEnglish, which has been classed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Plus, Zinke has endorsed a Montana candidate who was active in a white supremacist group at the far-right Liberty University. This candidate was also a regional manager for fascist Sen. Steve Daines's campaign.

And now Zinke is Donald Trump's pick to head the Department of the Interior!

I used to work for the Department of the Interior - before Bush gutted some of its functions. I don't want a fascist like Ryan Zinke as my boss.


Sunday, December 18, 2016

Was Horton story first fake news item?

Everybody is late to the game - again.

Much as it took until 2011 (!!!) for modern America to start taking income inequality seriously again, it's taken until now for fake news to be called out as much as it is. Who are we kidding? Fake news has been a pox on modern America for decades. Worse than useless.

When I studied mass media in college, I read about the yellow journalism of old. But in a modern context, I think America's first fake news story involved William Horton during the 1988 presidential campaign.

Horton was convicted of a Massachusetts murder and terrorized a Maryland couple while on furlough from prison. Press reports always referred to him as William Horton - until they started calling him Willie Horton in 1988. Nobody had called him that before. This was a propaganda technique by the right-wing media to make Horton appear more familiar, and thus a greater threat to the average listener even though he had been captured. It was propagandistic, but was it fake news? I believe Horton's crimes were real. But the claim that Michael Dukakis had implemented the furlough program was fake. That aspect of the story was indeed fake news.

These are the facts: The furloughs were begun way back in 1972 by a Republican governor who served prior to Dukakis. Dukakis actually ended the furloughs. That is a fact!

Meanwhile, drug kingpin George H.W. Bush supported a federal program that allowed convicted heroin dealer Angel Medrano to escape and to rape and murder a woman. Bush then falsely accused the Dukakis campaign of racism for bringing up Bush's incompetence.

I was alive in 1988. I don't think I had a mullet, but I was around. I was certainly old enough to read. So I remember the fake news item about Dukakis and the furloughs. I knew it was fake. The Media back then wasn't all Fox News and Facebook, so I learned the facts pretty quickly. Thank you, Power 94½.

I dealt with a lot of liars on a personal level in 1988, but the right-wing media's gaslighting, fake news, and race-baiting encouraged violence in the community - much as Donald Trump's ill-gotten victory has recently. Trumpism and fake news aren't new to me.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Now I'm a "goon"

So now I'm not just a "dopleganger" (sic) or an "unpatriotic patriotic bubble blower" or a "beaver teeth self." Now I'm a "goon" too.

I made a post on a local Facepoo forum in which I criticized the unconstitutional practice of requiring students in extracurricular activities to take a drug test. The usual crew of alt-right crackpots immediately spouted off, and several of them demanded I leave town if I don't support this policy.

One other ultra-right-winger said that playing sports in school means "you forfeit certain rights." I had to set him straight. I replied...

"You don't just forfeit rights. That's why they're called rights."

Then he responded...

"Rights and privileges are two different things goon."

Yay! A right-winger called me a "goon"!

Soon after, a very, very minor local politician kinda sorta admitted he was the one behind the drug-testing policy. Why am I not surprised it was him? Of course, it makes him eligible for impeachment for violating the Constitution he swore or affirmed he would uphold.

By the way, I'm not leaving town over this, despite what they suggested.

Facebook may be fined for hate group recruitment

As long as the Senate is full of America-hating fucks like David Perdue who support rogue regimes like that in Singapore, it's our duty to support governments like that of Germany when they crack down on hate group recruitment.

German officials say Facebook isn't doing enough to stop recruitment by hate groups. They say Facepoo could be in for some steep fines unless they act soon.

Good. I'm glad Germany is stepping up where America has failed.

This effort comes as hate groups and fake news threaten to upend the upcoming German elections.


Trump struck deal with Channel 12 owner for better coverage

Here's a national story with a Tri-State connection!

In a story that should surprise absolutely nobody who has noticed how much The Media has favored the criminal Donald Trump, it turns out the Trump campaign struck a deal for favorable coverage from the far-right Sinclair Broadcast Group - which owns WKRC-TV, Cincinnati's very own Channel 12. Sinclair acquired Channel 12 in 2012 - in a deal rubber-stamped by the FCC and whose significance was virtually ignored.

Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner admitted to the deal between the Trump campaign and Sinclair. He said the deal meant Sinclair stations would run full Trump interviews in exchange for better access to the campaign. A Trump spokesperson said the campaign worked with other media companies too.

In 2014, the Washington Post reported that Sinclair required its stations to run "news" stories criticizing President Obama's policies and promoting the ideas of right-wing think tanks. That revelation came after crew members from Sinclair's Baltimore station barged into an Occupy tent and created a scene.


Thursday, December 15, 2016

Texas bill would require parental consent to join a union

This is outright fascism. There's just no other word for it.

At most jobs that don't require at least some college, you're allowed to work when you're 16. Most of these are low-paying service jobs like fast food - which are among the workplaces that most desperately need labor unions.

But some right-wing fartpipe in Texas wants to gut the constitutional right to unionize by requiring workers under 18 to get parental permission before joining the union. If this bill passes, workers as young as 14 will be able to enter an employment agreement without parental consent - but they'll need parental consent to unionize.

Even in America, teenagers do get injured - even killed - on the job. But the alt-right thinks young people need to be protected from unions - not from workplace safety hazards.

The bill's supporters say the bill "protects parental rights." No it doesn't. There's no "right" for parents to treat children as property.

On the other hand, the percentage of young workers represented by a union has been increasing steadily for the past several years. If this continues, it could reverse the Far Right's catatonic attacks against organized labor.


Thursday, December 8, 2016

Gingrich praises Pearl Harbor attack

Newt Gingrich - the Nazi who hired a Hitler apologist as House historian - opened his ugly mouth again.

Yesterday was the 75th anniversary of Japan's bombing of Pearl Harbor. To commemorate the attack, Gingrich posted this on his Twitter feed:

"75 years ago the Japanese displayed professional brilliance and technological power launching surprises from Hawaii to the Philippines"

Thousands of Americans were killed or wounded at Pearl Harbor, and the elder statesman of Republican fascism praised the bombing.

You picked him, media.