Thursday, October 1, 2015

Oregon college shooter was right-wing Republican

The shooter in the Umpqua Community College massacre has been identified as one Chris Harper Mercer.

On a dating website, Mercer had listed his political views as "conservative, republican."

Is anyone at all surprised?

Bill Straub blasts Massie

This is hilarious!

You're gonna love the latest Bill Straub column at the Northern Kentucky Tribune. In this piece, Straub blasts local far-right congressweirdo Thomas Massie for his ongoing complain-a-thon...

Notice how Massie acts like every general election is a Republican primary (even though Democrats outnumber Republicans in the 4th District despite Boone County gunking things up). Massie's definition of "the people" includes only the Tea Party.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Work-for-Less Jamie might run for Congress

With 11-term far-right Rep. Ed Whitfield (R-Kentucky) announcing his retirement today, an all-too-familiar name may vie to replace him: embattled Kentucky Agriculture Commissioner Jamie Comer.

This is the same Jamie Comer who ran for governor and has been embroiled in a domestic violence scandal.

Will Kentucky's 1st District send a domestic violence offender to Congress? Why is somebody like this even a serious candidate?

Monday, September 28, 2015

Tea Party animal cruelty case ignored

Why did the media cover up the fact that a leader in Campbell County's Tea Party was busted for cruelty to animals back in 2013? That's in addition to the Oxycontin charge the previous year.

Is the Tea Party selling heroin?

The Tea Party in its current form began in 2009.

The current heroin pandemic also began in 2009.

This rash of heroin addiction is more prevalent in the Midwest and South - and less so in the Northeast, where the Tea Party is less powerful.


Who or what is funding the Tea Party? Even the Kochs can't afford to fund this much Tea Party activity for this long. We know the CIA has propped up the Tea Party, since the CIA has a history of destabilizing governments - and of selling drugs.

Is the Tea Party itself selling heroin? There's just too many coincidences to say they're not.

So, yes, we can accurately say the Tea Party is selling heroin.

Someone let one rip yesterday

Yesterday at an important family gathering, beans were served. You can imagine how that ended.

I detected the faint audio of a bunker blast! It was a Quiet Riot, if you will (or if you won't).

Friday, September 25, 2015

Boehner to resign from Congress next month

Just received word that longtime House Speaker John Boehner will resign his seat in Congress in October because of Republican infighting.

The suburban Cincinnati congressman's resignation is sending shockwaves throughout American politics. Surprisingly, he isn't just leaving the Speaker post: He is leaving Congress altogether after 13 terms.

Presumably, a special election will be held to replace him in Congress, but the big question is, who will be the new Speaker? Odds are, the Republicans will pick a Tea Party favorite as Speaker - representing another step in making the GOP a fringe party.

This story is somewhat reminiscent of the resignation of Newt Gingrich. The embattled Speaker Gingrich resigned from Congress altogether after the Republicans lost seats in the 1998 midterms - setting off a scramble to replace him that embarrassed the entire party.


Thursday, September 24, 2015

Campbell County superintendent arrested

Thirty years ago, the Campbell County Schools were generally agreed to be the worst in the nation. Not just the worst in northern Kentucky. The worst in America. Needless to say, the loudmouth fucks who now compose the Tea Party considered it a model school district.

I don't know if this school district is as bad as it was in the '80s, but the latest scandal sure doesn't help. Yesterday, Campbell County Schools Superintendent Glen Miller was arrested for domestic violence. He was jailed and released on bond today.

The Campbell County Schools had a history of solving problems with violence, so who's surprised?


Monday, September 21, 2015

Have no fear, the September ish is here!

Have no fear. The September edition of The Last Word is finally here!

It's the Back-to-School ish, but it also discusses many fi things. For instance, we talk about our hilarious trip to Isle Royale, how the destroyer of a lawn chair gets their comeuppance, and the Campbell County bubble gum bandit!

So point your pooper here before your pooper points you here...

More stuff got plopped at Ploptoberfest

For at least the second day in a row, items were plopped at Ploptoberfest. Yesterday was nothing earth-shattering. Just a plopping!

I went to the Sunday installment of Ploptoberfest yesterday and discovered that someone had thrown a stick of underarm deodorant into the toilet. I'm quite certain this has happened before, but plopping has such a long tradition at this annual festival that I guess it was inevitable that ideas for ploppings were going to be recycled.

And so, another Ploptoberfest is in the history books!

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Stuff got plopped at Ploptoberfest

What do we call Oktoberfest? Oktoberfest.

What do we call Oktoberfest in Cincinnati? Ploptoberfest! That's because items get plopped every year - without fail.

Today was no exception to this time-honored rule! When I used one of the portable restrooms at Ploptoberfest today, I noticed that someone had taken one of those big tan envelopes with a bubble wrap lining and put it in the toilet. Just think what bubble wrap will do to Rumpke's toilet cleaning machines!

Later when I used a portable restroom again, I noticed someone had taken a marker and drawn a penis on the wall.

But there were no Sam Adams cutouts this time, because Ploptoberfest organizers finally figured that they were just getting stolen and abused.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Indiana school district makes drug tests mandatory

The Constitution is taking a beating in the New Albany-Floyd County school district in Indiana.

Today, the school board voted 5 to 0 to approve drug testing of any student - not just those in extracurricular activities. One thing is clear: A lawsuit looms. In 2001, a federal court ruled that schools in Lockney, Texas, could not have such a policy. (Right-wing extremists tried to run the plaintiff out of town for suing the school.)

Or maybe people will wuss out and sit on their hands in the hopes it will "fix itself."


Sunday, September 13, 2015

Massie wrong about Iran deal (imagine that!)

How long are we going to keep electing this silly clown?

Local authoritarian right-wing congressmoron Thomas Massie (nice gerrymander there) is the only member of the House who voted present on a far-right effort to gut President Obama's popular Iran deal. Massie's reason for voting present is just as ridiculous as if he had voted with the rest of the Republicans. He says the deal is actually a treaty that requires two-thirds of the Senate for ratification.

Haha. No.

Massie has made a spectacle of himself more and more lately. He has defended Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis's antigay bigotry and lawbreaking, and he has signed a letter demanding a government shutdown unless Congress cracks down on Planned Parenthood.

This is the congressman who didn't get an opponent in 2014 until the very last minute?

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Kentucky GOPer accused of fraud

Another scandal in the Republican Party of Kentucky?! You've got to be kidding me!

Steve Pence was lieutenant governor under the disgraced Ernie "Hey Bert" Fletcher. Now Pence is being accused of fraud by the Securities and Exchange Commission. The SEC says Pence made misleading statements to auditors when he headed a staffing services business and that he was acting as a front for a convicted felon.

In 2011, the Louisville Courier-Journal identified Pence as a fraud conspirator - but this damning discovery was ignored by the rest of the media. The GOP had some elections they needed to win, ya know.


81 photos and videos from Cleveland trip posted!

It's time once again to lean back, relax, blow some BG, and peep some brand new Roads Scholarin' photos!

Last month I went to Cleveland, and the event yielded 81 items. Read 'em now before it's too late...

Monday, September 7, 2015

Absolutely nothing happened at Rip-off-fest

...except I smuggled in Pepsi, violating their precious Allowed Cloud.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Kentucky Fried Colonel

Don't insult the '70s, when commercials from the '60s were far more ridiculous.

Some years back, I told you about an absolutely laughable International House of Pancakes commersh from 1969 that used absurd Chipmunks-like vocals - for no apparent reason. Now I've found another restaurant ad from the '60s that's just as preposterous. It's a 1967 commersh for Kentucky Fried Chicken, and you're gonna guffaw uncontrollably when you view it...

This ad - like many other Kentucky Fried Chicken commercials of the era - featured Colonel Sanders himself. Not a cartoon, and not an actor playing Colonel Sanders. It had the real Colonel Sanders! The Colonel is seen strapped down in a torture device that looks like a combination of a polygraph and an electric chair. Several old-fashioned housewives demand that the Colonel divulge his secret recipe, but he just gives smartass answers and laughs maniacally. He might as well have just answered, "Because it bips." His answers cause him to be tortured some more.

But that's not even the most ridiculous part of the ad.

The ending of the commercial is downright uproarious! It features two close-up images of the Colonel filling the whole screen and blending into one - while a hilarious music bed plays. You've got to see this!

This is like if IGA made a commercial where someone farted real loud.

Did Kim Davis ruin Bevin's chances?

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis's antigay pogrom has towed Kentucky into the realm of total ridiculousness. She is a sick woman. Her mind and soul are rotten.

Though Davis's crusade is a mile marker on the road to Far Right make-me-believe, perhaps the person who should be more worried than any other is Tea Party gubernatorial candidate Matt Bevin. The Republican was already losing to Democratic Attorney General Jack Conway in polls, and Bevin's arrogant defense of Davis's lawbreaking only underscores the Far Right's poisonous lack of fitness for office.

I can't remember the last time I saw an issue where there was such a strong consensus. Internet comments are almost unanimous against Davis - and that's if you only count folks from Kentucky, the state that matters. What's worse for Bevin is that much of this reaction is from former followers on his official Facebook page.

This is a typically succinct comment by a former Bevinite...

"I'm a republican and you lost my vote."

This is a typically detailed comment by a former Bevinite...

"Mr. Bevin I have been an ardent supporter of you; however I'm concerned with your stance on this issue. You should know the laws and that separation of church and state are exactly what this country was founded on."

This is a typically hilarious comment by a former Bevinite...

"You have become a shameful representative. I rescind my support."

How come those yanking their support now didn't figure out a long time ago that the GOP is ready for the toxic waste dump of history? It took an embarrassing episode like this?

Will all of this be belied by the Kentucky GOP's uncanny ability to somehow unearth long-dead voters on Election Day? If you truly believe Bevin is right to encourage lawbreaking by public officials, go ahead and vote for him. At least then we'll know what parts of the state to riot in.

Perhaps the greatest offender is Liberty Counsel - the fascist legal foundation that has been defending Davis in court and has been classed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Liberty Counsel claims to be a nonprofit but has been raising money off this sordid controversy. They are also using the case in an attempt to influence Kentucky elections, which violates rules that prohibit attorneys from improperly intruding into a state's affairs.

Matt Bevin is the type of career politician who if elected wouldn't care what other branches of government think. He'd just do whatever he wants regardless of what the law says. Kind of like George W. Bush.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Left biggest target of persecution

I'm tired of hearing right-wing extremists complain about being persecuted.

Kim Davis is not being persecuted. Marriage equality is the law of the land - and this ruling has a firm basis in constitutional law. The embattled Rowan County Clerk has no right to hide behind religion to deny people a legal right.

Nobody has been persecuted in modern America more than the Left has. And no family in modern America has been responsible for more atrocities than the Bush crime family. Under the thugocracy of George W. Bush, the IRS tried to close down an Episcopal church in California because its officials opposed the Iraq War. The Bush regime even ordered the church to turn over all documents related to an antiwar sermon.

So it's true what they say: Christians really are being persecuted.

Contrast the official response to Occupy versus that to the Tea Party. Can you recall any Tea Party event where police lined up protesters and systematically sprayed tear gas in their faces? What Tea Party rally has ever been met by cops in riot gear? I avidly attended and helped organize Occupy Cincinnati events, and I know firsthand Occupy is far more peaceful than the violent Tea Party.

Who has been locked up without due process for his political views? You're lookin' at him. Who was expelled from a public university for his political views? You're lookin' at him. How many conservatives have been expelled from school for their politics? Has it ever happened?

The Far Right governs by suppression. The Left has been victimized by a systematic program of censorship, violence, and detention.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Day ruined by sinus infection

The past few months would seem to be active ones for my Illness Log - once I get around to updating it.

Monday was utterly destructed by the worst sinus infection in recorded history. I actually felt the infection brewing while traveling across Illinois on Sunday morning, but a good, spicy lunchage broke up the boogly-wooglums and flushed it out - only for it to return on Monday.

It was gone yesterday, but I slept almost the entire day because I had no energy to do anything else. I couldn't work at simple tasks no matter how hard I tried.

And so, a Monday spoiled.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Isle Royaleseein' is Isle Royalebelievin'

I returned home yesterday from a road trip to the amazing Isle Royale National Park in Michigan!

I deign to cover it in my next ish, but here's a preview. I saw a very minor plopping, and I saw 3 uproarious celebrity look-alikes: James Stockdale, Sarah Silverman, and Cooter from The Dukes Of Hazzard.

I also visited a couple presidential sites. At the Herbert Hoover Museum, I saw some woman who was in such a presidenty mood that she bubbled.

Friday, August 21, 2015

A person said a bad word at Arby's

I was at Arby's in Bellevue for lunch today, and something mighty blasted uproarious happened.

As I was devouring my lunchage, there was a man and woman sitting right behind me complaining about the quality of their meal. Finally, the man summoned the cashier over to their table. The man angrily told the cashier, "This sandwich ain't worth a shit." He was loud enough that most other customers in that part of the restaurant could clearly hear him.

As the couple was leaving the restaurant, the woman complained, "We got ripped off."

'Twas kinda neat!

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Have no fear, the August ish is here!

The latest edition of The Last Word is finally here, and it stings like a butterfly and floats like a bee!

This ish talks about phone troubles of recent months, an Oregon town with penis-shaped highway posts, the right-wing leanings of a 1980s singer, and more!

So point your pooper here...

Sunday, August 16, 2015

When Julian Bond was denied his seat

Following the death of civil rights activist Julian Bond, we're reminded that refusal to abide by free and fair elections isn't entirely new among progress's opponents - who once denied Bond a legislative seat that he had won.

Back in 1965, Bond was one of several African-Americans elected to the Georgia House - right after the Voting Rights Act opened up voting registration. But when Bond's term started in 1966, fellow lawmakers refused to let him take office because he opposed the Vietnam War.

Bond took his case to the U.S. Supreme Court, which unanimously ruled in his favor. (This was a much different Supreme Court from the one that gutted the Voting Rights Act not long ago.)

Later in life, Bond was a critic of the George W. Bush regime, because Bush had seized power through election fraud.

Julian Bond had won an election fair and square, but initially wasn't allowed to take office. Yet Bush stole an election and took office right on time. In fact, Bush stole more than one election. I don't think Bush ever legitimately won an election to any public office - even when it looked like a blowout. Didn't one of the networks post the result of the 1998 Texas gubernatorial "election" before most voting had even started? A decade earlier, Bushaganda was already being transmitted by the right-wing media to put the Bush crime family in charge, and anyone who dissented was up against zillions of dollars' worth of the Bushes' Orwellian behavior modification program.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Help! Mom! There's "liberals" in Bellevue!

It took a few years, but it looks like I got lucky when I wound up living in Bellevue, Kentucky. Bellevue was a gray mill town when I first moved in, but now it's a city ready to enter the 21st century.

I know this, because it's attracted its own Facebook group - which has all of 14 members - to complain about a "liberal" takeover of the city. And, buy gum, I think the page is actually serious. It was started by a guy who uses Tea Party imagery in his Facepoo profile, so you can bet your bizcream it's serious.

Here's his description of the group: "A open forum to discuss the progressive, hipster, liberal agenda in Bellevue and the negative impact they create." When someone asked what the group was about, he replied in part, "It's an open forum or should I say open season (figuratively speaking) on hipsters, liberals, and transients that have influenced Bellevue the past few years."

Hipsters, liberals, and transients, oh my! That plen-T-plaint manages to assail a wide swath of left-leaning politics all in one convenient swoop. It includes the vertical dimension of the Political Compass (hipsters), the horizontal dimension (transients), and every combination of the above.

The founder of that group also groaned, "That's why the nativity scene was moved from Nagel Park. These 'progressive' types move in and start organizing. They have meetings where they break off into small groups and brainstorm how to change the norm. They have an agenda and removing God is on the list!" No, you idiot, the Nativity was moved so it could have more visibility. I didn't even know the Nativity existed until it was moved to a more prominent place. Plus, there were progressives living in Bellevue long before the Nativity was moved - so it's not like they invaded the city, like the Tea Party has done to rural counties. Around 1905, in fact, the city was even the site of a library run by the Socialist Party.

But if Bellevue is as left-wing as Team Tyranny claims, why hasn't it passed its own minimum wage law or even a fairness ordinance? I'd love to see the looks on the Tea Party's stupid faces if Bellevue passes either of those laws.

In the meantime, I guess I can take some comfort in living in the only city in the area that I know of with its own Facebook page attacking it for being too liberal.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Bevin's factory had safety violations

Since this is a day ending in y, there's a brand new scandal surrounding Republican gubernatorial candidate Matt Bevin - which the right-wing media is of course ignoring.

Bevin owned a bell factory in Connecticut that burned down in 2012. Back in 2011, an OSHA inspection found serious safety violations at Bevin's factory. The inspection was prompted by an employee complaint and found 11 violations, including 3 that put workers at risk of "danger of death or extremely serious injury or illness."

The violations resulted in Bevin being fined $25,880. After informal settlements, Bevin had to pay $12,575.

What a beezweezer.


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Far Right loses Kentucky marriage case

About the Far Right: They losed.

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis has been a Tea Party wunderkind since she began disobeying the Supreme Court ruling in June that established marriage equality as the law of the land. After Davis was sued, her followers held a rally supporting her in front of the federal courthouse in Covington. I heckled Davis's supporters, as you'll recall.

Today, Team Tyranny lost the suit - forcing Davis to begin properly issuing marriage licenses.

Get out of the way, conservos.


BP passes gas

Right smack dab during summer vacation season, folks all over the Midwest are about to face an increase in gasoline prices of 25 to 50 cents per gallon. And it's all because of one "unplanned" outage at a BP refinery in Indiana.

"Unplanned"? I don't believe that. Not for a second. Just weeks after a story about gas prices staying relatively low - at least by recent standards - there's a nicely timed outage. I think this outage was intentional to keep fuel prices high - especially since that refinery just underwent a major upgrade.

This price-gouging once again underscores the need to nationalize the oil industry - especially when dealing with foreign monopolistic corporations like BP.


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Tea Party sheriff wears uniform at partisan event

Why did embattled Kenton County Sheriff Chuck Korzenborn - who praised a deputy who tortured grade school children - wear his sheriff uniform while participating in a Matt Bevin rally?

Several years ago, a sheriff in Florida was investigated for wearing his uniform at a partisan event - for it seemed to violate the Hatch Act. This is considered a prohibited use of a uniform during partisan activity. What Korzenborn did is no different. Not in the least bit.

Under the Hatch Act, the penalty for Korzenborn violating this regulation can be as steep as removal from office - or suspension of federal funds for the sheriff's department.

A person bunkerooed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

I goed to Cleveland yesterday and returned home today. In addition to Cuyahoga Valley National Park, I also visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. While I was bipping through the crowded museum, I briefly detected a whiff of an SBD bunker blast. It was short but very real.

Also, I saw 2 people who were in such a rockin' mood that they bubbled. A person bubbled at the museum, and then a person bubbled in the parking garage as we were leaving the museum.