The June ish of The Last Word is now pub, and I have to admit, we can't top the previous few editions. Those were epic.
But you'll love our latest offering anyway! In the latest issue, we discuss...
• Details of my police encounter in Park Hills.
• My attempts to break my leg so I could miss church.
• The electrifying 1970s TV show 'Juvenile Court'.
• The destruction of a Runts dispenser.
• Donald Trump's inability to blow a bubble with bubble gum.
• Chewing bubble gum in church.
• An Illinois town's attempt to land a new prison by making an idiotic rap video.
• People's faces getting farted in.
• And more! It's not sold in any store!
So waste Scribd's bandwidth by pointing your pooper here...
If that doesn't work, waste my bandwidth by pointing it here...
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
The June ish of The Last Word is now pub, and I have to admit, we can't top the previous few editions. Those were epic.
Posted by Bandit at 10:24 PM
The Trump regime went out of its way to propose the most malevolent federal budget it possibly could - and it's so extreme it probably can't even pass.
Among other vital programs, Trump proposes slashing SSDI - the popular Social Security Disability Insurance program that provides benefits to disabled workers. Uh, SSDI is an earned benefit. It's not welfare. Everybody who receives SSDI benefits paid into it while working.
The Hill - which has done nothing but praise Trump lately - falsely said that this budget wouldn't touch Social Security. That's untrue because SSDI is a major part of Social Security that's been around since President Eisenhower established SSDI in 1956.
If the budget does pass, people will die from it. That's certain. It's not like any firms out there are hiring anyone - disabled or not. Working in fast food is not an option for a 50-year-old with a double hip replacement. People didn't go to college just to have Donald Trump steal their money and force them to work in fast food after they become ill or get hurt on the job.
The Senate is only 52 to 48 Republican (if you count the 2 independents as part of the Democratic caucus), so it's hard to see how the GOP can find enough senators who aren't worried about voters' reaction to having their Social Security taken away. But it's hard to say for sure, with the increasing arrogance in the Republican Party.
Posted by Bandit at 12:21 AM
Monday, May 22, 2017
The United States isn't the only place where right-wing mobs attack dissenters. It's happening in Venezuela too.
Much as the CIA helped fund the Tea Party, the CIA is also bankrolling a far-right movement to overthrow Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro. Yesterday, this mob burned a 21-year-old man alive because he declared that he supported the progressive agenda of the late President Hugo Chávez.
Maduro said, "A person was set on fire, beaten up, stabbed. ... They nearly lynched him, just because he shouted out that he was a Chavista." The man was doused in gasoline and set ablaze. Maduro rightly called the assailants "fascist." A video showed another person being beaten up by right-wing demonstrators, and photos showed the mob throwing Molotov cocktails.
They've even launched attacks outside Venezuela. The daughter of a Venezuelan mayor was attacked in Australia by 2 assailants who screamed, "Thanks to your father, people are dying in Venezuela." A similar incident occurred in Florida, where a man was chased out of a bakery.
The Far Right has one thing in common anywhere in the world: their propensity for violence.
Posted by Bandit at 11:38 AM
Sunday, May 21, 2017
I just thought of a few facts about poverty in America that will send the Far Right into a screeching tantrum...
Today, somewhere in America, a poor person smiled, because they were happy.
A poor person listened to music, which entertained them, and made them happy.
A poor person had a snack, which tasted good, and made them happy.
A poor person saw their children, parents, or other relatives, which made them happy.
A poor person bicycled up the street and back, which gave them fresh air, and made them happy.
A poor person saw a beautiful painting, which made them happy.
A poor person spent the day with their relationship partner, which made them happy.
A poor person said something funny, which made them laugh, and made them happy.
A poor person took care of a pet, which made them happy.
A poor person attended religious services today - or on any day in the past week that their faith holds services - and maybe, just maybe, there's a chance it made them happy. (Not my thing, but to each their own.)
Some of us are happy even in poverty. The Far Right just cannot stand us being happy. It seeps right through everything the classist Right has said and done in recent years. Every public meltdown, every government policy, everything. It shows even in the Trump budget. They don't like it that we manage to hold on to a swatch of dignity - no matter how hard they try to take it away.
They have tried so hard to deprive me and millions of others of joy and freedom - often hiding their intent in a flurry of high-sounding phrases. Considering how hard they've tried, and all the help they've gotten from The Media, the Far Right's failure rate couldn't possibly be any worse.
Money can't always buy happiness. And to paraphrase "Weird Al" Yankovic, we don't always have to rent it. Who is really more miserable in life? In recent months, I've had some of the most amazing experiences, but how much of a wreck must the 1% be to derive satisfaction from bringing everyone else down?
Think about all this for a moment.
They can kill every public program they can think of, but they won't succeed in their goal of killing all of us.
Posted by Bandit at 7:11 PM
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Last night, I had another funny dream.
The dream included a combination toilet/record player. It was a toilet, but it had a record player inside the bowl, and the turntable was below the water level. Someone used it to play 45's of lost '80s hits.
Posted by Bandit at 10:03 AM
Monday, May 15, 2017
Last night I had what may well be the most ridiculous dream I've ever had. Back when I was about 10, I had a dream in which Ronald Reagan was seen in a motel hallway with smoke coming out of his pants, and another in which I watched a cartoon in which Wonder Woman threw a tantrum because her Lasso of Truth broke, but this one is even more preposterous.
In this strange dream last night, I watched a TV show in which Chuck Mangione blew a bubble with bubble gum through his flugelhorn. I swear I am not making this up.
Posted by Bandit at 6:35 PM
As an intelligent person might say: So this happened.
Roseburg, Oregon, is a decent-sized town, but now all of Douglas County is losing its public library system all because the Tea Party town criers opened their shit-caked little mouths.
In recent years, Douglas County has been literally invaded by lazy Tea Party activists moving in from out of town. While they whine about foreign immigration, the Tea Party moves into communities, sells heroin, and contributes absolutely nothing positive. Tea Party voters recently rejected a tax measure that would have cost the owner of a median-priced house only $6 a month. Because of this, the libraries have to shut down.
Six dollars. Matt Bevin's proposed sales tax increase will cost me an estimated $15 a month, and I have far less money than someone with a median-priced home. So the Tea Party needs to shut their fucking mouths.
It's hard to imagine a modern community with no public library, but the Footloosers in the Tea Party decided to play God and decreed that a whole county in Oregon can't have one.
Posted by Bandit at 12:10 AM
Friday, May 12, 2017
Although Wednesday's Roads Scholaring was spoiled by being pulled over by the Park Hills Police, it still yielded 16 brand bubble-bustin' new photos.
You know what you're gonna do? Peep 'em...
Posted by Bandit at 10:09 AM
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
I can't remember any other day on which I saw such a tragedy of official errors that I saw today. Part of it is because I went to Fort Wright, so it should have been expected, but I'm frankly tired of it.
I'm sick of being treated this way. Absolutely sick of it.
I plan to write about today's biggest official error of all in more detail in the June ish of The Last Word, but here's a synopsis. I bicycled to Fort Wright, and went home through Park Hills. I biked the old path of Mount Allen Road, which was almost impassable, but it's a public right-of-way, and there's no law against using it. After I emerged onto Dixie Highway, the Park Hills Police pulled me over. But by that time, I was in Covington.
I was actually interrogated and frisked right there on Pike Street! Apparently, someone in Park Hills didn't like me using "their" roads and cried to the police. I guess somebody was afraid they might catch strabismus.
Clearly, the police were wrong, because they responded to a frivolous complaint. There's no way you could reasonably think I was breaking any law that wasn't completely laughable or was in imminent danger. The cops were just responding to someone's classist temper tantrum - like what's happened to me so many times before.
I really don't feel safe with this level of classism out there.
Posted by Bandit at 5:24 PM
Lovely. Some nobody from Answers in Genesis is suing the Grand Canyon in an effort to prove the world is less than 10,000 years old. I swear I am not making this up.
The Kentucky geologist has filed a lawsuit against Grand Canyon National Park and the Department of the Interior, claiming that the park wouldn't let him take rocks to try to prove his thesis. Even if the rocks are less than 10,000 years old, it still doesn't prove he's right.
He claims he's a victim of religious discrimination, and he has enlisted the help of the far-right Alliance Defending Freedom - which the SPLC classifies as a hate group - for his frivolous lawsuit.
When are the courts going to drop the hammer on Alliance Defending Freedom? These legal terrorists have filed so many absolutely idiotic lawsuits, and I can't think of a single damn one that isn't completely frivolous.
I'm tired of Answers in Genesis screaming about discrimination, when they discriminate against everybody else - and use taxpayer money to do it.
Posted by Bandit at 4:38 PM
I can't believe I'm writing this in 2017.
The unincorporated town of Piner in Kenton County is dry: No alcohol may be sold there. Yesterday, there was an election in that precinct on whether to finally repeal prohibition. Piner voted 55% to 45% to remain dry.
In 2016, Donald Trump won Piner by a 5-to-1 margin. How can a community that votes for a man who has been a champion of excess deny personal choices to its citizenry? How can a village that votes for Tea Party candidates - who claim to be for "limited government" - vote to ban alcohol?
The hypocrisy of many of those who claim to support "limited government" is mind-blowing.
Posted by Bandit at 10:41 AM
Thursday, May 4, 2017
The latest Campbell County Tea Party scandal expands, as Tim Nolan is now also facing charges of rape, witness tampering, and prostitution - plus more charges of human trafficking and giving alcohol or drugs to a minor. Nolan was indicted on the new charges today. The indictment says Nolan tried to induce a possible witness to either not testify or change their testimony.
If convicted, the Tea Party politician faces a maximum sentence of over 100 years in prison.
Posted by Bandit at 4:59 PM
Today we devoured lunchage at the combination Subway/Burger King in Bellevue, and a ridiculous spectacle ensued.
A clearly intoxicated man was sitting at the table behind us, reading the much-ridiculed Cincinnati Enquirer. When he was leaving, he tried imposing the shredded tabloid upon us, but we didn't want it, so he spread it on another table. Then he started giving a speech about Donald Trump.
"Trump," he started out.
Is that a question, a factual statement, an opinion, or what?
Then he yelled some vague pro-Trump sentiment and stomped out of the restaurant. Snickers were heard from other customers.
A few minutes later, in a separate incident, a man lamented the miserable quality of his Burger King meal as he tossed it in the trash can. "I'm gonna call corporate!" he exclaimed.
Posted by Bandit at 1:30 PM
Kentucky State Rep. C. Wesley Morgan (R-Richmond) is one of those far, far, far right-wing whack-a-doodles narrowly "elected" in 2016.
Now the Tea Party legislator has been charged with transporting liquor in a vehicle that doesn't have a state-approved transporter's license. He has tried to change this law - but failed.
I guess that means I can break laws I don't like. Thanks a billion, Wes.
It turns out that back in 2015, Morgan faced a similar charge. This was conveniently ignored by the right-wing media.
Posted by Bandit at 12:54 PM
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
The fascist Right complains that the rich pay too much in taxes, but their lame whinings are out of line for at least several reasons: 1) the rich pay a smaller percentage than the poor; 2) it would likely be unconstitutional to make the poor pay more.
As so-called Gov. Matt Bevin plans to expand Kentucky's sales tax to cover all food purchases, one big quandary seems to be missing from the debate. Not a surprise, because The Media supports everything the little criminal does - even firing their own pollster that showed him losing the election handily. The issue is this: How is it constitutional or fair to protect the money and property of the rich to a greater extent than that of the poor? What about the concerns over taxation without representation?
Taxation itself is not unconstitutional. Progressive taxation is a condign mandate by the people. But wouldn't it be a violation of due process to tax the poor more just for its own sake? Why should the government protect the rich but not the poor?
How many poor people actually serve in our legislatures? Isn't this also an issue of taxation without representation? It's fair to tax the rich simply on this principle, since there are more poor than rich. But what's the average income of our lawmakers compared to the general public?
It's bad enough that The Media and other elites actively try to suppress economic class consciousness. Fortunately, working-class Americans who vote for more progressive candidates do still exist, and we're a gallant crowd. The rumors are true: Left-wing populism is still honored by many Americans. The right-wing elites can't murder an idea - not even pride in one's economic class. But why are the complaints of the Far Right even still taken seriously after they've been debunked again and again?
Posted by Bandit at 3:23 PM
Since Kentucky passed an unconstitutional right-to-scab law early this year, the state now has the weakest jobs outlook in modern times.
The Kentucky economy has been weakened so much that the state's General Fund - which pays for most public services - is expected to have a shortfall of $113.2 million when the fiscal year ends on June 30.
So what's in store for Kentuckians? A sales tax increase - of course. And more budget cuts - of course. State officials won't do anything smart like repeal right-to-scab, or eliminate handouts for corporations and Answers in Genesis.
Out-of-touch right-wing extremists like State Rep. Steven Rudy seem to be generating lots of laughs directed at their own visages. Rudy declared, "I think the people would say they prefer a more consumption-based tax system to one that taxes incomes."
But - under one-party Republican rule - that's what we're likely to get. The scandal-tarred Matt Bevin plans to expand Kentucky's 6% sales tax to cover all food items. As states like Idaho are on the brink of repealing food taxes - progress in Idaho was blocked only by a right-wing governor's veto - Kentucky revs up in reverse.
It's a Republican tradition. They mismanaged the state budget and passed laws that kill jobs - and now they're leaving the people on the hook to pay for this greed and incompetence. Oh well, nothing new.
Posted by Bandit at 10:33 AM