Monday, August 31, 2015

Isle Royaleseein' is Isle Royalebelievin'

I returned home yesterday from a road trip to the amazing Isle Royale National Park in Michigan!

I deign to cover it in my next ish, but here's a preview. I saw a very minor plopping, and I saw 3 uproarious celebrity look-alikes: James Stockdale, Sarah Silverman, and Cooter from The Dukes Of Hazzard.

I also visited a couple presidential sites. At the Herbert Hoover Museum, I saw some woman who was in such a presidenty mood that she bubbled.

Friday, August 21, 2015

A person said a bad word at Arby's

I was at Arby's in Bellevue for lunch today, and something mighty blasted uproarious happened.

As I was devouring my lunchage, there was a man and woman sitting right behind me complaining about the quality of their meal. Finally, the man summoned the cashier over to their table. The man angrily told the cashier, "This sandwich ain't worth a shit." He was loud enough that most other customers in that part of the restaurant could clearly hear him.

As the couple was leaving the restaurant, the woman complained, "We got ripped off."

'Twas kinda neat!

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Have no fear, the August ish is here!

The latest edition of The Last Word is finally here, and it stings like a butterfly and floats like a bee!

This ish talks about phone troubles of recent months, an Oregon town with penis-shaped highway posts, the right-wing leanings of a 1980s singer, and more!

So point your pooper here...

Sunday, August 16, 2015

When Julian Bond was denied his seat

Following the death of civil rights activist Julian Bond, we're reminded that refusal to abide by free and fair elections isn't entirely new among progress's opponents - who once denied Bond a legislative seat that he had won.

Back in 1965, Bond was one of several African-Americans elected to the Georgia House - right after the Voting Rights Act opened up voting registration. But when Bond's term started in 1966, fellow lawmakers refused to let him take office because he opposed the Vietnam War.

Bond took his case to the U.S. Supreme Court, which unanimously ruled in his favor. (This was a much different Supreme Court from the one that gutted the Voting Rights Act not long ago.)

Later in life, Bond was a critic of the George W. Bush regime, because Bush had seized power through election fraud.

Julian Bond had won an election fair and square, but initially wasn't allowed to take office. Yet Bush stole an election and took office right on time. In fact, Bush stole more than one election. I don't think Bush ever legitimately won an election to any public office - even when it looked like a blowout. Didn't one of the networks post the result of the 1998 Texas gubernatorial "election" before most voting had even started? A decade earlier, Bushaganda was already being transmitted by the right-wing media to put the Bush crime family in charge, and anyone who dissented was up against zillions of dollars' worth of the Bushes' Orwellian behavior modification program.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Help! Mom! There's "liberals" in Bellevue!

It took a few years, but it looks like I got lucky when I wound up living in Bellevue, Kentucky. Bellevue was a gray mill town when I first moved in, but now it's a city ready to enter the 21st century.

I know this, because it's attracted its own Facebook group - which has all of 14 members - to complain about a "liberal" takeover of the city. And, buy gum, I think the page is actually serious. It was started by a guy who uses Tea Party imagery in his Facepoo profile, so you can bet your bizcream it's serious.

Here's his description of the group: "A open forum to discuss the progressive, hipster, liberal agenda in Bellevue and the negative impact they create." When someone asked what the group was about, he replied in part, "It's an open forum or should I say open season (figuratively speaking) on hipsters, liberals, and transients that have influenced Bellevue the past few years."

Hipsters, liberals, and transients, oh my! That plen-T-plaint manages to assail a wide swath of left-leaning politics all in one convenient swoop. It includes the vertical dimension of the Political Compass (hipsters), the horizontal dimension (transients), and every combination of the above.

The founder of that group also groaned, "That's why the nativity scene was moved from Nagel Park. These 'progressive' types move in and start organizing. They have meetings where they break off into small groups and brainstorm how to change the norm. They have an agenda and removing God is on the list!" No, you idiot, the Nativity was moved so it could have more visibility. I didn't even know the Nativity existed until it was moved to a more prominent place. Plus, there were progressives living in Bellevue long before the Nativity was moved - so it's not like they invaded the city, like the Tea Party has done to rural counties. Around 1905, in fact, the city was even the site of a library run by the Socialist Party.

But if Bellevue is as left-wing as Team Tyranny claims, why hasn't it passed its own minimum wage law or even a fairness ordinance? I'd love to see the looks on the Tea Party's stupid faces if Bellevue passes either of those laws.

In the meantime, I guess I can take some comfort in living in the only city in the area that I know of with its own Facebook page attacking it for being too liberal.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Bevin's factory had safety violations

Since this is a day ending in y, there's a brand new scandal surrounding Republican gubernatorial candidate Matt Bevin - which the right-wing media is of course ignoring.

Bevin owned a bell factory in Connecticut that burned down in 2012. Back in 2011, an OSHA inspection found serious safety violations at Bevin's factory. The inspection was prompted by an employee complaint and found 11 violations, including 3 that put workers at risk of "danger of death or extremely serious injury or illness."

The violations resulted in Bevin being fined $25,880. After informal settlements, Bevin had to pay $12,575.

What a beezweezer.


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Far Right loses Kentucky marriage case

About the Far Right: They losed.

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis has been a Tea Party wunderkind since she began disobeying the Supreme Court ruling in June that established marriage equality as the law of the land. After Davis was sued, her followers held a rally supporting her in front of the federal courthouse in Covington. I heckled Davis's supporters, as you'll recall.

Today, Team Tyranny lost the suit - forcing Davis to begin properly issuing marriage licenses.

Get out of the way, conservos.


BP passes gas

Right smack dab during summer vacation season, folks all over the Midwest are about to face an increase in gasoline prices of 25 to 50 cents per gallon. And it's all because of one "unplanned" outage at a BP refinery in Indiana.

"Unplanned"? I don't believe that. Not for a second. Just weeks after a story about gas prices staying relatively low - at least by recent standards - there's a nicely timed outage. I think this outage was intentional to keep fuel prices high - especially since that refinery just underwent a major upgrade.

This price-gouging once again underscores the need to nationalize the oil industry - especially when dealing with foreign monopolistic corporations like BP.


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Tea Party sheriff wears uniform at partisan event

Why did embattled Kenton County Sheriff Chuck Korzenborn - who praised a deputy who tortured grade school children - wear his sheriff uniform while participating in a Matt Bevin rally?

Several years ago, a sheriff in Florida was investigated for wearing his uniform at a partisan event - for it seemed to violate the Hatch Act. This is considered a prohibited use of a uniform during partisan activity. What Korzenborn did is no different. Not in the least bit.

Under the Hatch Act, the penalty for Korzenborn violating this regulation can be as steep as removal from office - or suspension of federal funds for the sheriff's department.

A person bunkerooed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

I goed to Cleveland yesterday and returned home today. In addition to Cuyahoga Valley National Park, I also visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. While I was bipping through the crowded museum, I briefly detected a whiff of an SBD bunker blast. It was short but very real.

Also, I saw 2 people who were in such a rockin' mood that they bubbled. A person bubbled at the museum, and then a person bubbled in the parking garage as we were leaving the museum.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Kentucky GOP official indicted

Another scandal in the Republican Party of Kentucky??? And just when they needed it least???

Jesse Benton was a campaign manager for Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, and now he's managing the campaign of Mike Harmon, Republican candidate for Kentucky Auditor. Now Benton and 2 other GOP mucketymucks have been indicted by a federal grand jury for actions during the 2012 presidential campaign of Rand Paul's daddy, Ron Paul. Benton is charged with conspiracy and other misdeeds connected to the alleged filing of false campaign finance records. The indictment says a Republican legislator in Iowa threw his support behind Ron Paul following an exchange of money involving Benton.

The party that The Media thinks is owed control of all of Kentucky government strikes again.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Mitch Miller look-alike seen at Kroger

This evening at Kroger on the north side of Cold Spring, I saw some guy who looked just like Mitch Miller (goateed bandleader known for his 1960s TV show)! It was hilarious! This was the funniest celebrity look-alike I've seen in ages! A family member agreed that he strongly resembled Mitch Miller. Or maybe he looked like an Occupy mask.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Sheriff's department sued for torturing schoolchildren

If anyone did something like this to my kids, they'd get their fucking jaw broken.

A sheriff's deputy who patrols Covington public schools is under heavy criticism for shackling 2 elementary school students who attend a special education class. The deputy tightly locked handcuffs around the children's upper arms and violently forced their hands behind their backs.

This is an open-and-shut case of torture. I don't give a shit what anybody else says.

Now the parents have sued the deputy and Kenton County's Tea Party sheriff Chuck Korzenborn for inadequately supervising the deputy and violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.

There's plenty of negative stories about police lately, and being caught torturing 3½-foot-tall schoolchildren doesn't help matters.

Sunday, August 2, 2015

July Scholaring photos!

Did you know that the Peace Bike and I went Roads Scholaring in Over-the-Rhine and West End in July? And did you know that it pibbed the crazy Cincinnati way, yielding 12 still photos and a video to boot?

You bet your bizcream I did, and you're gonna peep every blasted one of them. So point your pooper here...