Wednesday, July 19, 2017

A person bunkerooed at Family Dollar

I despise Family Dollar with a passion, but Family Dullard stores are everywhere, and I was forced to shop there earlier because I couldn't find WD-40 anywhere else.

While I was in the checkout aisle, I detected the unmistakable scent of an SBD bunker blast. It was a stinker, that SBD was.

Kentucky GOPer exposes himself at Belk

Because this is a day ending in y, that means there's another humiliating scandal within the omnipotent Republican Party of Kentucky.

David Narramore, 54, of Whitesburg is one of the leaders of the Kentucky GOP. He heads the county Republicans in Letcher County and sits on the executive committee of the statewide GOP. But on Saturday, he was arrested for exposing himself in a restroom at a Belk department store in Tennessee. Narramore is also accused of resisting arrest.

A Belk worker notified police when Narramore rubbed his foot and exposed his dick.

Another Kentucky GOPer disgraced for life. This is the party that we let run things?


Monday, July 17, 2017

Another celebrity look-alike!

Celebrity look-alikes are hilarious!

I've just been informed that a Taylor Swift look-alike works at the airport in Bangor, Maine.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Idaho passes law making it harder to switch jobs

Need to find a better job? Don't you dare do it in Idaho!

Idaho was already becoming an economic basket case because of oppressive right-wing laws like "right-to-work", but now it's believed to be the hardest place in America to find a better job, thanks to a recently passed state law. This new law makes it much easier for companies to enforce noncompete agreements against people who no longer work for these companies. These agreements prevent employees from leaving a company to work for a competitor.

How is this even constitutional? How can a business enforce its will on a worker who no longer works for them? Noncompete agreements are illegal in California - contributing to that state's growing economic dynamism. Why do judges in other states allow them?

Idaho's new law even shifts the burden of proof to workers to show their new jobs won't infringe on past employers' unlimited "right" to Make Money. A state official says the law makes it so hard for workers to show this that it may actually be impossible.

Noncompete agreements must be banned nationwide. In addition, judges must annul these clauses whenever litigation arises from them. Businesses do not own their workers - especially when they no longer work for them! Anyone with even an ounce of common sense can see this.


Saturday, July 15, 2017

Colorado joins Climate Alliance

What if I told you that Colorado has finally joined the United States Climate Alliance?

Saturday, July 8, 2017

A record-breaking dream!

Last night, I had a weird dream that I ate a rare record at a record shop.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Connecticut anti-Trump graffiti a hoax

Well, surprise, surprise!

Last month, someone spraypainted graffiti assailing Donald Trump and supporting Bernie Sanders all over Morley Elementary School in Hartford, Connecticut. Anyone with more than 2 atoms of cerebral tissue firing in their noggin should have known it was a hoax by someone who wanted to frame liberals. Now The Hill - which usually cheers everything Trump does - confirms these suspicions.

Stephen Marks, 32, of West Hartford - a Trump supporter - admitted he wrote the graffiti himself to try to set up Trump opponents. He says that's because he considers them "disrespectful towards our government." Now he's been charged with criminal mischief and breach of peace.

What a beezweezer.


Sunday, July 2, 2017

A person bunkerooed and thought it was funny

Earlier this evening, I goed to an important family gathering, and guess what happened?

An LAP bunker blast, that's what!

Laughter followed.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Dayton! Fort Thomas! Highland Heights! It's a great place to fart, I mean start!

To keep your face from flying off in public, I did a bonus Scholaring this week covering northern Campbell County. It wasn't great, but it was better than expected, and it yielded 16 photos and videos...

Friday, June 30, 2017

Have no fear, the July ish is here!

There's a fanzine of fun called The Last Word, and there's a month called July.

This leads me to deduce that the July edition of The Last Word is now published, and you can peep it all!

In this ish...

• My prized Speak & Spell gets its third life.

• A person popped popcorn in a movie theater and ruined an 8th grade outing.

• An idiot doesn't understand chess.

• People blow bubbles with slime.

• And more!

So point your pooper here, if you dare...

If that doesn't work, bip this link instead...

Williamstown not caving to ark park tax break

So the ark park - which has already fleeced Kentucky taxpayers - wants a tax break. But the city of Williamstown doesn't seem to be fooled.

The Ark Encounter theme park has failed to bring visitors to the area, despite laughable promises of an economic bonanza. Now the park wants an exemption to the town's recently implemented safety assessment tax, which levies 50 cents per ticket. The park argues that they should be exempt because they're a religious organization.

If they're a ministry, why did they get a taxpayer handout before? You can't argue that you're entitled to a government handout and later use an opposite argument to say you're entitled to a tax exemption. You're either a ministry or you're not. You can't have it both ways.

Indeedity-doodledy, Williamstown Mayor Rick Skinner even said of the ark park, "Everything that we have found is that they are a for-profit company." Other municipal officials say the same thing.

Kind of like my high school.

But I wouldn't be surprised if the ark park goes crying to some right-wing judge to make Williamstown comply with their demands. Taxpayers pay for everything they do.


Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Tea Party big shot apparently got 15 years for drug trafficking

Remember last year when John Paul Roth Jr. - one of the leaders of the Campbell County Tea Party - got busted for selling opiates?

Well, apparently, he's been convicted and sentenced - and the right-wing media has completely ignored the story. I just checked the Campbell County Detention Center website, and it says Roth was booked today after being sentenced to 5 years and 10 years on 2 counts of selling opiates.

Maybe I'm just misreading it, but it looks like a BTPer is finally going away for awhile.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Behold, your professor!

I don't want to turn this into a personal attack, but this shows just how determined Northern Kentucky University - a state institution - is to advance right-wing causes.

A retired NKU professor just posted this on Facebook...

"The establishment clause says nothing about separation of church and state."

Wrong. It does. That's the whole point of the establishment clause. I don't even need to tell my readers this.

I repeat, the man who posted that was a professor there.

Ridiculous dream about Speak & Spell

Last night, I had a dream that my Speak & Spell (a favorite childhood toy that has recently endured a cycle of death and revival) gained the ability to show old films of Major League Baseball games on its small display.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Mount Adams! Hyde Park! Oakley! It's a great place to fart, I mean start!

Monday's Scholaring with the Road Ruiner yielded 21 brand bippus bustin' new photos and videos for you to peep, weep, and oggle-beep. So point your pooper here...

Sunday, June 18, 2017

More celeb look-alikes and bunker blasts, because why the hell not?

I've just been informed of a whole series of celebrity look-alikes at Kroger - and a bunker blast too!

According to legend, a jaunt to Krogie-Wogie yielded a Charlton Heston look-alike and an Erik Estrada look-alike. A previous visit produced a Jeb Bush look-alike.

I've also been told that an LAP bunkeroo was detected at a swimming pool. A group of young adults were lounging around and drinking beer, and when this air biscuit was released, cries of accusation sprang up, but no suspects could be indicted for this crime against humanity.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Puerto Rico votes to become 51st state

This is happening - but only if Congress approves it.

In a referendum yesterday, voters in Puerto Rico voted 97% to 3% to become the 51st state. What does this mean? It was a nonbinding vote, and Congress will still have the final say. Even if Congress approves statehood, the process may take a few years. There actually isn't much chance that the current Congress will approve it.

One can hope that if statehood comes, it brings Puerto Rico's public policies in line with the Constitution. Then again, we don't require California to clean up Pete Wilson's many messes. I'm also under no illusions that Congress would make the Tea Party's laughable proposed state of North Colorado follow the Constitution.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Another weird dream

Last night, I had a dream that Wendy's founder Dave Thomas came back to life.

Friday, June 9, 2017

A person ruined a Jennifer Hudson CD

Today, I found a smashed Jennifer Hudson CD on the sidewalk. Shattered in many shards it was.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Study ranks Kentucky dead last for economic environment

Don't be fooled by the Richmond Register headline that says Kentucky is only 3rd-worst for jobs. The article reveals that a new study by WalletHub says the Bluegrass State now ranks dead last of all 50 states for economic development.

Kentucky's new #50 ranking is fueled by the state now having the highest tax burden for people of low or middle income levels. This is because of liar Matt Bevin's serial mismanagement and suppression of workers.

Gee, thanks a billion, Matt.


Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Climate Alliance just added gobs of new territory

Yesterday, the United States Climate Alliance was joined by Delaware, Minnesota, and Virginia - and the territory of Puerto Rico.

Plus, foreign countries plan to negotiate climate matters with the states - so they don't have to deal with the Trump thugocracy.

Thirteen states and territories - and growing. Where's Kentucky? Pooing?

Sunday, June 4, 2017

European alt-right turns to piracy

Europe's alt-right is now raising money to target boats that rescue refugees in the Mediterranean Sea.

As aid groups in the Mediterranean have saved some 6,000 refugees so far this year, right-wing extremists are financing boats to hunt them down. They've already disrupted a rescue mission as part of what was described as a trial run.

Isn't this piracy? Aren't there very strict laws against bankrolling thuggery like this? Who in the American alt-right is also financing this effort?

Meanwhile, the European alt-right has hosted pro-Trump events in Europe.


Saturday, June 3, 2017

Another day of growth for Climate Alliance

What if I told you Hawaii and Oregon just joined the United States Climate Alliance, bringing the total number of states in this federation to 9?

This Climate Alliance stuff is really amazing!

Friday, June 2, 2017

Climate Alliance expands to 7 states

Wake up, Kentucky!

Wake up, Ohio!

Wake up, Indiana!

The United States Climate Alliance that defies the Trump regime's climate fascism is only 2 days old, but it's already expanded to 7 states. In addition to the founding members - California, New York, and Washington - the federation has now added 4 more states: Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

It's gonna be humiliating if Kentucky turns out to be the last state to join, because of Matt Bevin's obstructionism.

Far Right already blowing smoke about Climate Alliance

There's no temper tantrum like an alt-right temper tantrum.

After 3 states formed a federation called the United States Climate Alliance to jointly combat climate change by refusing to withdraw from the Paris Agreement, the right-wing intelligentsia vows retribution against the alliance.

They claim that the federal government preempts these states' actions. No. It does not. It's kind of interesting that the Far Right claims to champion states' rights, but then they say states' rights doesn't protect more liberal states. What about the time Wisconsin pulled out of federal welfare programs? They defended that in the name of states' rights, even though it harmed the public, and there was no legal basis for the state to regulate a federal program like this.

The Far Right also claims the Climate Alliance is an unconstitutional compact between states. Wrong again! The government consented to this federation when it first approved the Paris Agreement. We're on solid legal ground here because it was illegal for Trump to pull out of the accord. So bust goes that bubble.

All this at a time when a majority of the public in every single one of the 50 states supports remaining in the Paris Agreement.

Climate Alliance rains on Trump's parade

With the fascist Trump regime illegally pulling the United States out of the 2015 Paris Agreement on climate change, 3 states are asserting their autonomy by sticking to the agreement.

It's called the United States Climate Alliance - a federation of 3 states: California, New York, and Washington. These states provide more than their share of America's positive economic activity - often being forced to finance the burgeoning mismanagement in more rural states - yet actually produce less than their share of harmful carbon dioxide emissions. The alliance is staying in the Paris Agreement and has announced its intent to continue to reduce emissions.

Kentucky needs to join this federation lickety-split.

The United States Climate Alliance. You'll like it.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Trump has 12% approval rating in Michigan

"Butbutbutbut Trump is working-class, don't ya know!"

A new EPIC-MRA poll gives Donald Trump only a 12% job approval rating in Michigan - a state he ostensibly won. And that's with a likely voter screen, which generally favors Republicans.

No wonder Trump's followers have gotten so shrill lately. They're like the dinosaur in the movies whose head has been cut off but still flails around and breaks everything.


Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Tim mortgages 'Sesame Street' pennant

Why would I have a 'Sesame Street' pennant? Because it bips. And how would I mortgage it? By...bipping!

When I say I mortgaged this pennant, that doesn't mean I went through a bank. It means I placed it perpendicular to the wall to avoid seeing it - much as how you'd mortgage houses in the board game Easy Money.

The full lowdown is in this uproarious new video...

Tea Party proves they're not mature enough to have float in parade

The alt-right has been throwing a skizzum on Facebook nonstop since yesterday afternoon because I exposed their boorish behavior at the Memorial Day parade.

Now they've proven they don't know the difference between a float and the spectators. I admit to turning my back on the Tea Party float and placing my middle finger behind my back - I never denied it - but when you have a float in a parade, you're not supposed to heckle the crowd in return, which is exactly what the Tea Party did.

One of the apologists for the Tea Party's heckling is saying they were "told" by people who were there that I started it by flipping the Tea Party the bird. A couple things: The Tea Party doesn't get to finish it, because a float is held to a different standard than spectators. Plus, who were these people who "told" them? Were there moles in the crowd? The crowd wasn't that big. I think this person is just blowing smoke.

Also, I checked the rules for floats in this parade, and it says political floats may only carry the name of a candidate or public official - not the name of their organization. So the Tea Party broke that rule.

Ooh! Threats!

A real grownup person is now issuing threats after I posted about yesterday's incidents at the parade...

"You need to watch what you say before harassment become a big issue for you."

Ooh! I'm scared!

Monday, May 29, 2017

Tea Party gets the bird

This has got to be the only place remaining in America where the Tea Party still has a float in parades.

The BTPers still have their idiotic float in the Bellevue/Dayton Memorial Day Parade each year - even though getting into the Tea Party today would be like getting into the Atari 2600 in 1992. (For what it's worth, Hillary Clinton won Bellevue with 53%. I haven't computed Dayton though.) The Tea Party has no respect for the real meaning of Memorial Day. They support Donald Trump despite his scamming of war vets and his remarks on John McCain's military service. But today was the first time I've ever been to a parade where a float actually heckled the crowd.

As Team Tyranny's float tooled down Fairfield Avenue, I turned my back on their float and extended my middle finger against my back where the BTPers could see it (and nobody else could).

This caused the BTPers to angrily heckle the crowd with their right-wing political slogans.

The community needs to take a stand against hate groups like the Tea Party. And make no mistake, it is a hate group. The Southern Poverty Law Center even classed Tea Party Nation as a hate group.

Despite the Tea Party's attempt to spoil the event, a person was in such a festive mood that they bubbled.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Baste of Cincinnati goes Krogering

...or Kroger goes basting!

Today I went to Taste of Cincinnati - or Baste of Cincinnati, as I call it - and it's still about as boring as it was in 1983. Of course, the past couple years, a gang of Fred Phelps-style loudmouths has blocked access to many of the food stands and scared people away from the event, but other than that, there's not much happening.

But there was a minor plopping - not unlike at Ploptoberfest. I noticed someone had placed a plastic Kroger bag in the toilet in one of the portable restrooms. It looks like whoever did it made a special effort to make sure the Kroger logo was seen prominently smiling its ass off as it rested in the toilet bowl. Baste of Cincinnati also proves officials lied when they said they couldn't have Ploptoberfest on 5th Street anymore because of the streetcar, since Baste was still on 5th.

The only celebrity look-alike I saw was Sean Penn (as he appeared in one of his roles where he had long hair).

I'm not going to Taste of Cincinnati tomorrow, since it looks like a rainout.

Jim Bunning dead at 85

Jim Bunning - Hall of Fame pitcher who became a local Republican congressman and senator - has died at the age of 85:

Friday, May 26, 2017

Unions sue over Kentucky right-to-scab law

It's happening. In Kentucky.

The Bluegrass State's recently passed but reviled "right-to-work" law is already the target of a lawsuit by labor unions because it violates the Kentucky Constitution. The suit by the AFL-CIO and the Teamsters names Matt Bevin and one of the nobodies in the Forehead's scandal-tarred administration.

The Far Right credits the right-to-scab law with the opening of a new aluminum factory, but why do they think this justifies denying workers' rights? We call them rights because they can't be arbitrarily forfeited - regardless of perceived benefits of giving up these rights. No right is absolute, but the right of workers to enter into a union security agreement is very basic. The more important point is that the "right-to-work" law has already cost more Kentucky jobs than the number of new jobs at this plant, and it's not even close: The new unemployment numbers are jaw-droppingly bad.


Thursday, May 25, 2017

Newport to destroy historic buildings to build luxury lofts

Another day, another rubber stamp for developers and the 1%.

Three historic buildings on a Newport corner are likely to face the wrecking ball - to be replaced by a project featuring 8 luxury lofts.

The lofts will be approved even though the design of the new lofts has faced widespread criticism for the building's bleak appearance. But it's unknown whether anyone currently lives in the old buildings - or if the city is doing anything to help them, which they never do.


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A person bubbled at the post office

Today, a woman in a car that pulled up to the mailbox in front of the post office bubbled a big green bubble.

Later, at Big Lots, a man buyed 3 big boxes of Bazooka.

Trump leaks bomber's name, angers British officials

After the deadly bombing in Manchester, England, the Trump regime promptly leaked the attacker's name to the American media (which blabbed it right out).

British officials are furious. This leak went against the stated wishes of British police, who were still gathering evidence and hunting down suspects. The leak jeopardized the entire investigation.

The Trump regime's incompetence - and malevolence - is breathtaking. All the Presidents in the first 43 years of my life put together haven't had as many scandals as Trump has had in just his first 4 months.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Have no fear, the June ish is here!

The June ish of The Last Word is now pub, and I have to admit, we can't top the previous few editions. Those were epic.

But you'll love our latest offering anyway! In the latest issue, we discuss...

• Details of my police encounter in Park Hills.

• My attempts to break my leg so I could miss church.

• The electrifying 1970s TV show 'Juvenile Court'.

• The destruction of a Runts dispenser.

• Donald Trump's inability to blow a bubble with bubble gum.

• Chewing bubble gum in church.

• An Illinois town's attempt to land a new prison by making an idiotic rap video.

• People's faces getting farted in.

• And more! It's not sold in any store!

So waste Scribd's bandwidth by pointing your pooper here...

If that doesn't work, waste my bandwidth by pointing it here...

Trump budget so bad it probably won't pass

The Trump regime went out of its way to propose the most malevolent federal budget it possibly could - and it's so extreme it probably can't even pass.

Among other vital programs, Trump proposes slashing SSDI - the popular Social Security Disability Insurance program that provides benefits to disabled workers. Uh, SSDI is an earned benefit. It's not welfare. Everybody who receives SSDI benefits paid into it while working.

The Hill - which has done nothing but praise Trump lately - falsely said that this budget wouldn't touch Social Security. That's untrue because SSDI is a major part of Social Security that's been around since President Eisenhower established SSDI in 1956.

If the budget does pass, people will die from it. That's certain. It's not like any firms out there are hiring anyone - disabled or not. Working in fast food is not an option for a 50-year-old with a double hip replacement. People didn't go to college just to have Donald Trump steal their money and force them to work in fast food after they become ill or get hurt on the job.

The Senate is only 52 to 48 Republican (if you count the 2 independents as part of the Democratic caucus), so it's hard to see how the GOP can find enough senators who aren't worried about voters' reaction to having their Social Security taken away. But it's hard to say for sure, with the increasing arrogance in the Republican Party.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Venezuelan Tea Party sets man on fire

The United States isn't the only place where right-wing mobs attack dissenters. It's happening in Venezuela too.

Much as the CIA helped fund the Tea Party, the CIA is also bankrolling a far-right movement to overthrow Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro. Yesterday, this mob burned a 21-year-old man alive because he declared that he supported the progressive agenda of the late President Hugo Chávez.

Maduro said, "A person was set on fire, beaten up, stabbed. ... They nearly lynched him, just because he shouted out that he was a Chavista." The man was doused in gasoline and set ablaze. Maduro rightly called the assailants "fascist." A video showed another person being beaten up by right-wing demonstrators, and photos showed the mob throwing Molotov cocktails.

They've even launched attacks outside Venezuela. The daughter of a Venezuelan mayor was attacked in Australia by 2 assailants who screamed, "Thanks to your father, people are dying in Venezuela." A similar incident occurred in Florida, where a man was chased out of a bakery.

The Far Right has one thing in common anywhere in the world: their propensity for violence.


Sunday, May 21, 2017

Facts about poverty that will enrage the Far Right

I just thought of a few facts about poverty in America that will send the Far Right into a screeching tantrum...

Today, somewhere in America, a poor person smiled, because they were happy.

A poor person listened to music, which entertained them, and made them happy.

A poor person had a snack, which tasted good, and made them happy.

A poor person saw their children, parents, or other relatives, which made them happy.

A poor person bicycled up the street and back, which gave them fresh air, and made them happy.

A poor person saw a beautiful painting, which made them happy.

A poor person spent the day with their relationship partner, which made them happy.

A poor person said something funny, which made them laugh, and made them happy.

A poor person took care of a pet, which made them happy.

A poor person attended religious services today - or on any day in the past week that their faith holds services - and maybe, just maybe, there's a chance it made them happy. (Not my thing, but to each their own.)

Some of us are happy even in poverty. The Far Right just cannot stand us being happy. It seeps right through everything the classist Right has said and done in recent years. Every public meltdown, every government policy, everything. It shows even in the Trump budget. They don't like it that we manage to hold on to a swatch of dignity - no matter how hard they try to take it away.

They have tried so hard to deprive me and millions of others of joy and freedom - often hiding their intent in a flurry of high-sounding phrases. Considering how hard they've tried, and all the help they've gotten from The Media, the Far Right's failure rate couldn't possibly be any worse.

Money can't always buy happiness. And to paraphrase "Weird Al" Yankovic, we don't always have to rent it. Who is really more miserable in life? In recent months, I've had some of the most amazing experiences, but how much of a wreck must the 1% be to derive satisfaction from bringing everyone else down?

Think about all this for a moment.

They can kill every public program they can think of, but they won't succeed in their goal of killing all of us.

A person bubbled at Kroger

Today I went Krogering, and while I was in the store, a young woman was in such a Krogery mood that she bubbled.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Second ridiculous dream this week

Last night, I had another funny dream.

The dream included a combination toilet/record player. It was a toilet, but it had a record player inside the bowl, and the turntable was below the water level. Someone used it to play 45's of lost '80s hits.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Most ridiculous dream ever

Last night I had what may well be the most ridiculous dream I've ever had. Back when I was about 10, I had a dream in which Ronald Reagan was seen in a motel hallway with smoke coming out of his pants, and another in which I watched a cartoon in which Wonder Woman threw a tantrum because her Lasso of Truth broke, but this one is even more preposterous.

In this strange dream last night, I watched a TV show in which Chuck Mangione blew a bubble with bubble gum through his flugelhorn. I swear I am not making this up.

Oregon county loses libraries because of Tea Party shit-eaters

As an intelligent person might say: So this happened.

Roseburg, Oregon, is a decent-sized town, but now all of Douglas County is losing its public library system all because the Tea Party town criers opened their shit-caked little mouths.

In recent years, Douglas County has been literally invaded by lazy Tea Party activists moving in from out of town. While they whine about foreign immigration, the Tea Party moves into communities, sells heroin, and contributes absolutely nothing positive. Tea Party voters recently rejected a tax measure that would have cost the owner of a median-priced house only $6 a month. Because of this, the libraries have to shut down.

Six dollars. Matt Bevin's proposed sales tax increase will cost me an estimated $15 a month, and I have far less money than someone with a median-priced home. So the Tea Party needs to shut their fucking mouths.

It's hard to imagine a modern community with no public library, but the Footloosers in the Tea Party decided to play God and decreed that a whole county in Oregon can't have one.

Friday, May 12, 2017

A person bubbled in the Belv

Earlier, I walked down to a small record shop down the street. When I was walking home, some woman driving a car pulling out of a side street bubbled.

Newport! Covington! Fort Wright! It's a great place to start!

Although Wednesday's Roads Scholaring was spoiled by being pulled over by the Park Hills Police, it still yielded 16 brand bubble-bustin' new photos.

You know what you're gonna do? Peep 'em...

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

I got parked by Park Hills

I can't remember any other day on which I saw such a tragedy of official errors that I saw today. Part of it is because I went to Fort Wright, so it should have been expected, but I'm frankly tired of it.

I'm sick of being treated this way. Absolutely sick of it.

I plan to write about today's biggest official error of all in more detail in the June ish of The Last Word, but here's a synopsis. I bicycled to Fort Wright, and went home through Park Hills. I biked the old path of Mount Allen Road, which was almost impassable, but it's a public right-of-way, and there's no law against using it. After I emerged onto Dixie Highway, the Park Hills Police pulled me over. But by that time, I was in Covington.

I was actually interrogated and frisked right there on Pike Street! Apparently, someone in Park Hills didn't like me using "their" roads and cried to the police. I guess somebody was afraid they might catch strabismus.

Clearly, the police were wrong, because they responded to a frivolous complaint. There's no way you could reasonably think I was breaking any law that wasn't completely laughable or was in imminent danger. The cops were just responding to someone's classist temper tantrum - like what's happened to me so many times before.

I really don't feel safe with this level of classism out there.

Creationist enlists hate group in lawsuit against Grand Canyon

Lovely. Some nobody from Answers in Genesis is suing the Grand Canyon in an effort to prove the world is less than 10,000 years old. I swear I am not making this up.

The Kentucky geologist has filed a lawsuit against Grand Canyon National Park and the Department of the Interior, claiming that the park wouldn't let him take rocks to try to prove his thesis. Even if the rocks are less than 10,000 years old, it still doesn't prove he's right.

He claims he's a victim of religious discrimination, and he has enlisted the help of the far-right Alliance Defending Freedom - which the SPLC classifies as a hate group - for his frivolous lawsuit.

When are the courts going to drop the hammer on Alliance Defending Freedom? These legal terrorists have filed so many absolutely idiotic lawsuits, and I can't think of a single damn one that isn't completely frivolous.

I'm tired of Answers in Genesis screaming about discrimination, when they discriminate against everybody else - and use taxpayer money to do it.


Local community votes to continue prohibition

I can't believe I'm writing this in 2017.

The unincorporated town of Piner in Kenton County is dry: No alcohol may be sold there. Yesterday, there was an election in that precinct on whether to finally repeal prohibition. Piner voted 55% to 45% to remain dry.

In 2016, Donald Trump won Piner by a 5-to-1 margin. How can a community that votes for a man who has been a champion of excess deny personal choices to its citizenry? How can a village that votes for Tea Party candidates - who claim to be for "limited government" - vote to ban alcohol?

The hypocrisy of many of those who claim to support "limited government" is mind-blowing.


Thursday, May 4, 2017

Tim Nolan now faces rape, other charges

The latest Campbell County Tea Party scandal expands, as Tim Nolan is now also facing charges of rape, witness tampering, and prostitution - plus more charges of human trafficking and giving alcohol or drugs to a minor. Nolan was indicted on the new charges today. The indictment says Nolan tried to induce a possible witness to either not testify or change their testimony.

If convicted, the Tea Party politician faces a maximum sentence of over 100 years in prison.

Drunken Trumper humiliates self at Subway

Today we devoured lunchage at the combination Subway/Burger King in Bellevue, and a ridiculous spectacle ensued.

A clearly intoxicated man was sitting at the table behind us, reading the much-ridiculed Cincinnati Enquirer. When he was leaving, he tried imposing the shredded tabloid upon us, but we didn't want it, so he spread it on another table. Then he started giving a speech about Donald Trump.

"Trump," he started out.

Is that a question, a factual statement, an opinion, or what?

Then he yelled some vague pro-Trump sentiment and stomped out of the restaurant. Snickers were heard from other customers.

A few minutes later, in a separate incident, a man lamented the miserable quality of his Burger King meal as he tossed it in the trash can. "I'm gonna call corporate!" he exclaimed.

Kentucky GOPer charged with violating liquor law

Kentucky State Rep. C. Wesley Morgan (R-Richmond) is one of those far, far, far right-wing whack-a-doodles narrowly "elected" in 2016.

Now the Tea Party legislator has been charged with transporting liquor in a vehicle that doesn't have a state-approved transporter's license. He has tried to change this law - but failed.

I guess that means I can break laws I don't like. Thanks a billion, Wes.

It turns out that back in 2015, Morgan faced a similar charge. This was conveniently ignored by the right-wing media.


Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Expanded sales tax likely unconstitutional

The fascist Right complains that the rich pay too much in taxes, but their lame whinings are out of line for at least several reasons: 1) the rich pay a smaller percentage than the poor; 2) it would likely be unconstitutional to make the poor pay more.

As so-called Gov. Matt Bevin plans to expand Kentucky's sales tax to cover all food purchases, one big quandary seems to be missing from the debate. Not a surprise, because The Media supports everything the little criminal does - even firing their own pollster that showed him losing the election handily. The issue is this: How is it constitutional or fair to protect the money and property of the rich to a greater extent than that of the poor? What about the concerns over taxation without representation?

Taxation itself is not unconstitutional. Progressive taxation is a condign mandate by the people. But wouldn't it be a violation of due process to tax the poor more just for its own sake? Why should the government protect the rich but not the poor?

How many poor people actually serve in our legislatures? Isn't this also an issue of taxation without representation? It's fair to tax the rich simply on this principle, since there are more poor than rich. But what's the average income of our lawmakers compared to the general public?

It's bad enough that The Media and other elites actively try to suppress economic class consciousness. Fortunately, working-class Americans who vote for more progressive candidates do still exist, and we're a gallant crowd. The rumors are true: Left-wing populism is still honored by many Americans. The right-wing elites can't murder an idea - not even pride in one's economic class. But why are the complaints of the Far Right even still taken seriously after they've been debunked again and again?

"Right-to-work" guts Kentucky budget

Since Kentucky passed an unconstitutional right-to-scab law early this year, the state now has the weakest jobs outlook in modern times.

The Kentucky economy has been weakened so much that the state's General Fund - which pays for most public services - is expected to have a shortfall of $113.2 million when the fiscal year ends on June 30.

So what's in store for Kentuckians? A sales tax increase - of course. And more budget cuts - of course. State officials won't do anything smart like repeal right-to-scab, or eliminate handouts for corporations and Answers in Genesis.

Out-of-touch right-wing extremists like State Rep. Steven Rudy seem to be generating lots of laughs directed at their own visages. Rudy declared, "I think the people would say they prefer a more consumption-based tax system to one that taxes incomes."

Um, no.

But - under one-party Republican rule - that's what we're likely to get. The scandal-tarred Matt Bevin plans to expand Kentucky's 6% sales tax to cover all food items. As states like Idaho are on the brink of repealing food taxes - progress in Idaho was blocked only by a right-wing governor's veto - Kentucky revs up in reverse.

It's a Republican tradition. They mismanaged the state budget and passed laws that kill jobs - and now they're leaving the people on the hook to pay for this greed and incompetence. Oh well, nothing new.


Sunday, April 30, 2017

Have no fear, the May ish is here!

People wasted gum and didn't think it was funny.

You can read all about it in the latest ish of The Last Word! (Where else?) This ish also talks about a Trumpthug's public meltdown on Fountain Square, not to mention these other important stories...

• A dumb tobacco ad.

• People trying to flush their eyeglasses down the toilet.

• Buying ruined books off Amazon.

• C-3PO's genitalia.

• A racist politician impersonating someone of the opposite sex.

• A giant gumball invading my old high school.

• A tribute to WCLU.

• Chuck E. Cheese's butchering song lyrics.

• YouTube's revival of 'Electric Company' music.

• And more!

This ish has a good gum-to-noise ratio too! So point your pooper here to read the latest edition of The Last Word...

If that doesn't work, peep here...

Friday, April 28, 2017

Transylvania attacker spares Republicans

Nineteen-year-old Mitchell Adkins of Cincinnati went on a stabbing rampage today at a coffee shop at Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky. But he spared one group: Republicans.

The machete-wielding maniac yelled something about a "day of reckoning" and asked customers about their political leanings. Upon discovering that a customer was a Republican, Adkins assured her, "You are safe."

Adkins has now been charged with assault and wanton endangerment for his politically motivated attack against anyone who is not a Republican.

As it turns out, Adkins is a former Transylvania student who once wrote an article whining about the university "discriminating" against him for being conservative. He claimed that having to hear views different from his own caused him to drop out of this school and landed him in a mental institution.


Another celebrity look-alike

I've just been informed that a Richard Branson look-alike was sighted on the Royal Mile.

Pikeville passes law to appease racist rally

I get it. Free speech. I know city officials in Pikeville, Kentucky, can't legally stop a white supremacist group from Michigan from stampeding into town to hold a rally tomorrow.

Yet - strangely - free speech doesn't seem to apply to antiracists who oppose the rally's message. The city has just passed an emergency ordinance banning the wearing of masks. The law is targeted at antiracists who often wear masks while rallying against right-wing events.

Pikeville officials fell over themselves to show what First Amendment champions they are by allowing the rally - yet they won't allow counterprotesters to wear masks? The Lexington Herald-Leader reports there's "a concern in Pikeville because there has been information circulating on social media that anti-racists will protest the white nationalist rally." Shouldn't the concern be the trouble started by the racists, not their opponents? Indeed, a group called Anti-Racist Action reports that their members wear masks because racists had been photographing them so they could later hunt them down and attack them.

This is a classic case of "free speech for me, not for thee", but I'm shocked that city officials would be so flagrant about favoring organizations that are openly racist.


Thursday, April 27, 2017

Man who shot Black Lives Matter activists gets 15 years

Even for the Far Right, crime doesn't always pay.

Back in 2015, Allen Scarsella of Bloomington, Minnesota - a man known for sending out racist text messages - opened fire on a Black Lives Matter event in Minneapolis. The shooting wounded 5 men. This terrorist attack was largely ignored by the right-wing media.

Now Scarsella has been sentenced to 15 years and 2 months in prison for assault and riot charges stemming from the attack. Prosecutors wanted 20 years, but we all know right-wing terrorists are almost never punished that severely - seeing how they're special and privileged. If he serves all 15 years, he'll be younger when he gets released than I am now.

There's no doubt that he intended to murder as many Black Lives Matter activists as possible. He should have been charged with attempted murder - not mere assault.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

People bunkerooed in Scotland

I've never been to Scotland, but I'm missing a lot of hilarious stuff!

I've just been told that an Ann Coulter look-alike was sighted at Edinburgh Castle. Meanwhile, a boy who was about 8 years old ripped an LAP bunker blast! Later, some woman bubbled on the Royal Mile.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Kentucky city wastes time on stupid shit

Right-wing legislators in Kentucky are trying to legalize hate crimes and wage theft - yet Kentucky communities are allowed to overregulate everything else.

The city of Richmond, Kentucky, is trying to fine the owner of a house because there's 4 university students living there as roommates. You see, Richmond has an ordinance banning more than 2 unrelated people from sharing a home in areas zoned as single-family residential.

With housing costs going through the roof, the city actually enforces this prohibition?

Interesting how the Tea Party types screaming about excessive regulation fall suspiciously silent about cases like this.


Monday, April 24, 2017

Sandy Springs, Inc.

Some of you may know that the fascist Tom Price's old U.S. House seat in Georgia is being seriously contested in a June runoff - and it may even be a likely Democratic pick-up. But there's no doubt that progress in this area north of Atlanta has been gunked up by the politics that gave it one of the strangest municipalities in America of any significant size.

In terms of administration, Sandy Springs, Georgia, has one of the most unusual features of any city: privatization of almost all public services. The now-defunct nearby city of Chattahoochee Plantation though was just as weird.

Usually, right-wingers try to block people from banding together for a positive purpose. For instance, they're militantly opposed to labor unions. Incorporating a city is sort of like the people's union. But right-wingers support incorporating cities as long as it's for unliberal purposes. Texas, for example, even specifically encourages cities to incorporate for such reasons. Georgia allowed Chattahoochee Plantation to incorporate back in 1961. The only reason was to block Atlanta from expanding into Cobb County.

Why were some people so fearful of being annexed by Atlanta? Let's be honest here. The Incorporation of Chattahoochee Plantation was motivated by racism. It's not the only city to incorporate to block annexation by another city because of racism - I believe a small suburb in my area incorporated for the same reason - but what's unusual in this case was the town's layout. The so-called city was 30 miles long - but only 10 feet wide. Hardly anyone actually lived within the city's limits, since it was too narrow for a house. The city wasn't formed by its own residents - since there were hardly any - but by other folks in Cobb County who just wanted to box Atlanta in.

Chattahoochee Plantation never actually formed a government. It was just a line on a map - though it was so narrow that I can't find it on USGS maps of that era.

This brings us to the story of Sandy Springs. By the 1980s, Sandy Springs - an unincorporated suburban area in Fulton County - was home to tens of thousands of people. This area was also hostile to annexation by Atlanta. So people there tried to be annexed by Chattahoochee Plantation instead.

That effort fell apart, and Chattahoochee Plantation was later forced to give up its incorporation. But lo! Sandy Springs was finally able to incorporate in 2005, when it had 90,000 people and its own skyscrapers. One of the reasons for this incorporation was so the rich could have their own city - for the county had been rightly using revenues from this area to fund poorer areas. Although incorporation would adversely affect the rest of the county, voters in those areas were not allowed to vote on the incorporation referendum.

What makes Sandy Springs so unusual is its failed model of privatizing pretty much everything. Some cities farm out certain services like garbage collection, but in Sandy Springs, practically the whole city government is privately run. In other words, it's not even a city. It's a corporation.

The City Hall is in an industrial park, and very few of its employees are on the public payroll. If you apply for a business license, you have to talk to people from a foreign company - not City Hall. The 911 dispatch center is run out of a private firm in New Jersey. Even the city's court is mostly privatized. Local officials call it "the model." Kind of like "the leader." It's not just a corporation, but a mind control program.

Sandy Springs has exported this greed-driven system to a few other places - such as Dana Plato's hometown of Maywood, California, which fired all municipal workers. One Maywood city official says this actually drove up the cost of running the city - and ruined the quality of public services.

But a lot of public officials just won't learn, I guess.

Meanwhile, Fulton County's poorest areas are being robbed to pad the coffers of businesses hired by Sandy Springs.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Air travel celeb look-alikes continue

After last month's discomforts, I don't intend on flying a commercial airliner ever again, but people e-mail me saying they see celebrity look-alikes on flights that they take.

I've just been informed that on an international flight from Detroit to Amsterdam, a flight attendant resembling Carlton Banks, the conservative Ivy Leaguer on The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, was sighted.

On this same flight, someone wafted a foul SBD bunker blast.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Tim Nolan charged with human trafficking

Remember Tim Nolan?

Nolan is a former Campbell County judge who later disgraced himself by joining the Tea Party and becoming one of its most active members. He filed a frivolous lawsuit trying to close the Newport courthouse. This past November, he managed to get elected to the Campbell County school board - to the delight of those who long for the days when the school system was the area's laughingstock. accuses Nolan of being "one of Campbell County's most vehement racists" - resulting in Nolan suing the website. He also headed Donald Trump's Campbell County campaign.

Now Nolan has been charged with human trafficking and unlawful transaction with a minor. Authorities say Nolan, 70, induced a minor into illicit sexual activity and gave alcohol to the minor.

If the allegations are true, this continues a long string of serious crime by the local Tea Party, which also includes the Tea Party's drug dealing.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

A person bunkerooed twice at Kroger

Today at the Kroger in Bellevue, I was waiting at the end of the checkout lane for our grocery order to be completed, and I detected the powerful scent of an SBD bunker blast. Twice! There are several possible suspects.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Campbell County Schools finally realize a mistake they made

I grew up on the mean streets of Highland Heights, Kentucky, and I know the '90s were the low point in the history of the Campbell County Schools. Among other problems, the school district engaged in a pattern of closing and consolidating schools - forcing most students to travel miles further each day to receive the education they were entitled to.

Now the school system finally realizes it was a mistake to merge its 2 middle schools back then. I knew firsthand that one of them was already too crowded. But school officials are finally admitting that the merged middle school is "aging" (as it occupies the old high school building).

Couldn't they see this coming 25 years ago?

Now the school system needs 2 new middle schools - which it already had before they gunked everything up. They want to build one of them in the northern end of the district - which has most of the population, but is now furthest from any schools.

At least the Campbell County Schools are finally coming to their senses about this. It's a shame they have such baggage left behind by the Footloosers.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

1,000 XP in the bank

I went to the anti-Trump rally on Fountain Square today - which most of the right-wing media ignored even though it was bigger than Tea Party rallies that were held there.

It's already April, but for the first time this calendar year, I got in a confrontation in person with a Trumpthug. He verbally threatened me, and it almost erupted into a brawl.

In case you're the one other person out there who's paying attention to my game of Dungeons & Dragons & Donald, that's 1,000 experience points for me. I bet you're sorry you missed it! Didn't even have to melt stone or pick locks!

Next ish of The Last Word will discuss this event in greater detail. I may need a week or two to hone the wit that is necessary to regale you with today's rally.

Virginia court dismisses frivolous antigay lawsuit

See, this whole democracy thing isn't finished off after all.

In a blow against the Far Right, the Virginia Supreme Court has tossed a frivolous lawsuit filed against the Fairfax County school system by the fascist Traditional Values Coalition. A right-wing student there had sued the school system because he disagreed with its decision to add sexual orientation and gender identity to its nondiscrimination policy.

The student claimed that the nondiscrimination policy caused him "general distress." It's "distress" that his school district won't discriminate? That's his definition of "distress"? What a little crybaby.

The court needs to heavily fine the Traditional Values Coalition for bringing such a silly lawsuit. We also need a law that says lawyers who file suits like this can't collect fees. Suits like this gunk up the court system, and it's part of the reason I had such a hard time serving my largely successful suit against people who owed me money.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Mount Auburn! Corryville! It's a great place to start (and fart)!

Being the coolster I am, I have 15 brand bippus-bustin' new Roads Scholaring photos and videos from Cincinnati. Know what you're gonna do? Peep 'em...

Monday, April 10, 2017

Alabama governor arrested

How often do governors actually get arrested?

I'm not saying there aren't a lot of governors who deserve it, but how often does it actually happen?

Today, Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley was arrested - and he resigned from office - because of charges resulting from an affair with an aide. The 74-year-old Republican was arrested on 2 misdemeanor charges regarding disclosure of campaign information. He promptly pleaded guilty to the charges. He was fined and sentenced to community service.


I told Far Right to "get a job!"

For years, I've heard that some silly clods keep harassing Planned Parenthood in Cincinnati, but I don't think I've ever seen any people out there until today. Then again, I haven't been to Mount Auburn much in years.

Today, I went Roads Scholaring in Mount Auburn and Corryville. I happened to bike past the Planned Parenthood clinic, and there were people out there protesting it.

I can respect those who oppose abortion on human rights grounds. I personally do not endorse abortion. I am pro-choice, but I personally support life. On the other hand, I have zero reverence for people who loiter outside Planned Parenthood and call its clients "murderers" and "baby killers." That's exactly what the protesters were doing. They were blocking the sidewalk too.

So I yelled at them, "Get a job!" Twice.

The second time, one of them yelled back, "This is a job!"

My reply: "No it ain't! Get a real job!"

For these control freaks to be out there on a weekday during normal business hours proves they don't actually work - unless some Tea Party group is paying them to be out there, which doesn't exactly constitute real work.

America's biggest baby killers are usually control freaks like this. They're the ones who have shredded economic security programs for Americans from infancy to old age. These cutbacks have killed innocent people. You can't call yourself pro-life if you support right-wing economic policies.

On a less serious note, I later rested at a bench on Short Vine right after getting lunch at Kroger, and a middle-aged man who was jogging up the street ripped a loud-and-proud bunker blast. He was behind a sign while the LAP was released, so he thought I wouldn't notice.

Friday, April 7, 2017

Massachusetts wouldn't properly investigate abuse allegations

HEAL has been going after this scandal for years, but only now is it getting more coverage.

Massachusetts officials haven't been properly investigating claims of abuse in daycares and residential "treatment" centers. Regulators at the Department of Early Education and Care were phoning in investigations instead of visiting the facilities in person.

HEAL had been warning of the problem since 2014, but the department still didn't take action. In fact, the agency still conducts many of these probes by phone.

WFXT-TV in Boston is actually covering this story a little bit...

Senate confirms known fascist to Supreme Court

In the hopes that nobody will notice because of the illegal bombing of Syria, Senate Republicans have just confirmed Neil Gorsuch - founder of the Fascism Forever Club - to the Supreme Court.

At least Neil Garbage replaces another conservative Justice, instead of a more liberal Justice.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Trump tries to start war with Syria

Did Donald Trump really just do something stupid like firing 50 Tomahawk missiles at a Syrian air base without congressional approval?

Monday, April 3, 2017

Scholarin' in the air...Every sight and every sound...

Some of you know that I attended a human rights conference in Washington, D.C., last month. The photos I got from this trip count as March's Roads Scholaring.

Best all, a majority of these photos are aerial! That's because I was required to fly on a commercial airliner!

So peep, weep, and oggle-beep...

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Judge rules Trump incited violence at Kentucky rally

Remember a year ago when Donald Trump's thugs assaulted protesters at a Louisville rally? And remember how 3 victims of these attacks sued the Donald personally for it?

Now a federal judge has ruled that the lawsuit may proceed. U.S. District Judge David Hale agreed with the plaintiffs' claim that Trump incited followers to assault them. Hale denied most of Trump's motion to dismiss the complaint, calling Trump's incitement "particularly reckless."

But the judge disagreed that Trump himself should be held "vicariously liable", because the assailants weren't actually employed by Trump's idiotic campaign.


Friday, March 31, 2017

Have no fear, the April ish is here!

Have no fear! The April edition of The Last Word is here!

Much of this issue focuses on my trip to Washington, D.C., for a human rights conference in which we presented a legislative agenda to fight institutional abuse of youth.

But there's other interesting items in this ish too. As usual, people Chewed Gum And Thought It Was Funny. One of my readers reports that someone even chewed gum off the carpet! A video about strabismus used the magic word, a child intentionally ripped the arms off their own glasses, people blew bubbles with stuff that isn't gum, and I downvoted cosmetic dentistry and Dr. Phil videos on YouTube.

Read it and peep here...

If that doesn't work, read it on my personal site...

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Interview about my D.C. trip

As you know, I went on a trip to Washington, D.C., a couple weeks ago, and we met with congressional staffers about our legislative agenda to halt institutional abuse of young people. In this new video, I was interviewed about the event...

A couple years ago, I was also interviewed about my own experiences with abuse in a program.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

University fires reporter because right-wing lawmakers told it to

If you're a journalist in Tennessee, be sure you never report things in a manner that right-wing public officials don't approve of. They'll get you.

After North Carolina passed its hated "bathroom bill", Tennessee is considering similar legislation. Jacqui Helbert - a reporter for WUTC-FM, owned by the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga - reported on the bill and met with a group of high school students as they met with legislators about it.

After the story aired, right-wing State Sen. Mike Bell and State Rep. Kevin Brooks complained about the story. They claimed Helbert didn't identify herself as a reporter - even though she clearly was a reporter, because she was lugging around recording equipment. Later, when university officials met with other Republican lawmakers, State Sen. Todd Gardenhire complained about the story and demanded Helbert's firing.

After Todd Garbagefire's complaint, the university promptly fired Helbert and removed her report from the station's website.

What's the point of even having news media if all they do is cave to public officials?


Thursday, March 23, 2017

A toast to success! Blublublublublub!

Last night, I got home from the human rights conference in Washington, D.C.! The big success story is that we met with congressional staffers from multiple states and both major parties about our legislative agenda to halt abuse of youth in confinement programs.

On a lighter note, this trip featured loads of celebrity look-alikes too. Yesterday, during my layover at JFK Airport in New York, I saw a man who strongly resembled Luis of Sesame Street.

Also at this airport, some old man bubbled. It was an elderbubbling!

Monday, March 20, 2017

People kept bubbling on Saturday

My trip to Washington, D.C., is strictly business - not vacation - but on Saturday, I kept seeing people who were in such a festive mood that they bubbled.

On the National Mall, down by the Washington Monument, a person bubbled. Later, a person bubbled at a Safeway on Connecticut Avenue in Northwest D.C. Not long after, a person bubbled at a bookstore down the street.

Congressional staffer resembles Blair from 'The Facts Of Life'

On Friday, when we visited various U.S. House members' offices to talk to them about our legislative agenda, one of the younger staffers resembled Lisa Whelchel, the right-wing has-been who played Blair on The Facts Of Life and later wrote a book advocating child abuse.

Where I've been the past few days

Long story short: For the past few days, I've been in Washington, D.C., for a human rights conference I was invited to. I was invited because of my activism in fighting against abuse of young people in residential "treatment" facilities.

This trip has been very productive. We've met with numerous congressional staffers to present our legislative agenda.

I know I have a sense of humor, but this is very serious business, folks.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Kidney stone probably won't ruin event

Keek! Ruin!

If you've followed my Twitter feed, you know that I had to fly out of town for a very serious event. I can't reveal the details until next week. But I can't help but laugh at some of the things that have happened today.

My only confirmed kidney stone was in 1999, but I strongly suspected one yesterday (the day before leaving) because I had a weak pee stream. Then I peed out a small speck of something, and the symptoms went away. The exact same thing happened the day before the big St. Louis roadmeet of 2014.

Today was marred by a series of fuck-ups by Delta Airlines. I plan to publish more details in the next ish. On the bright side, I did detect a silent-but-deadly bunker blast on the first flight, and another at the layover airport. I also saw my share of celebrity look-alikes. A Larry David look-alike was seen at the TSA checkpoint at the Cincinnati airport. A James Watt look-alike was on my first flight. An uproarious Judge Mills Lane look-alike was seen at my layover airport.

Also, I saw 3 people at 2 different airports who bubbled. This includes a woman who was about 30 who took selfies of herself bubbling with orange bubble gum and laughed maniacally about it. She Chewed Gum And Thought It Was Funny.

Best all - and get this - somebody stuck a wad of bubble gum that they had blown into a bubble on a urinal flushing mechanism at the layover airport.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

A person bunkerooed at Target


Today, we goed to Target in Newport. What should have been a quick trip to buy about 5 small items turned into an hour-long ordeal. I thought we'd never get out of there.

Anyway, I was in the school supplies aisle looking for tape, when I detected the unmistakable audio of a loud-and-proud bunker blast.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

When 'Sesame Street' characters go bald ('Sesame Street' Wednesday)


I finally found it!

This is a Snuffleupagus moment - even though it doesn't involve Mr. Snuffleupagus at all! For years - I'm talking decades upon decades - I've insisted there was a Sesame Street segment around 1978 in which they imagine what some of the characters would look like if they were bald. It showed Maria and Oscar the Grouch bald!

Everyone said I was just making it up. But now - for about the zillionth time - YouTube has saved the day...

I don't think this was a regular segment. I think it was just part of the storyline for a single episode, and that's why I saw it only once. It starts out with the characters lamenting how Gordon keeps shaving his head instead of letting his hair grow. Then they show Gordon with various hairstyles, before the other characters are seen bald.

Are people going to keep insisting I made it up?

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Kentucky GOP would gut public school choice

The party of "local control" and "school choice" is about neither!

Louisville has one of the strongest school desegregation plans in the nation. As part of this program, parents of elementary school students can actually choose from several public schools. Wow! Choice!

But a Republican bill in the Kentucky legislature would gut this program by forcing children to attend a specific school. Not only does it erase real choice, but it would also pulverize local control.

The bill has already passed the fascist-dominated Kentucky House. Every Democrat opposed it, but almost every Republican supported it.

That's "choice" and "local control", GOP-style.


Church paying members to create right-wing sockpuppets?

A phony Internet identity that's used to deceive is called a sockpuppet. We've all seen them, but we might not always detect them. They praise or criticize other Internetters - perhaps other people or organizations - while they pose under a false identity. I've never seen a sockpuppet last long before they disappear or are caught - but they succeed at stage-managing public opinion.

Here's a secret: A significant number of right-wing comments on news websites are from sockpuppets. It's been like this for years. But I've overheard things that are even more disturbing, and I'm pretty sure a local church is paying congregants to create right-wing sockpuppets to flood website comment pages with extremist vitriol and shout down dissenters.

I'm not 100% sure - and that's why I'm not naming the church - but I'm maybe 95% sure. I didn't hear anyone specifically state this, but I've put two and two together. I'm not stupid.

I can understand why someone might be eager to earn a little extra dough this way, but odds are, they'll get caught eventually. If the church keeps this up, it too will be caught - and it could get in some real trouble with the IRS. If the Trump regime refuses to enforce the IRS regulation on this, I will expose the church.

Why am I posting about this here? I just thought you might like to know what some of our checkbook clergy have been up to. And make no mistake, they are checkbook clergy. I don't care what anyone else says.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Kentucky House passes forced drug-testing bill

Despite Democrats in the Kentucky House raising constitutional, fiscal, and practical objections against a Republican bill that would require high school students to take a drug test to graduate, the House just voted 72 to 21 to pass the bill.

How long will it be before there's a lawsuit?

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Shit got real on Facebook today

So AnnRK blogs...

Read that.

This is for real, my friends. Facebook has been censoring people for their political views, and it's gotten much worse lately.

Kentucky bill would require drug test for high school diploma

Wesley Morgan again.

If America still had a Bill of Rights that it felt like enforcing, this proposed legislation would be dead in the toilet. But we know we can't count on that.

A Republican bill in Kentucky would require high school students to submit to "regular, random drug tests" in order to graduate. Unconstitutional. End of story.

That's not the only bad thing in this bill. It would also require students to perform unpaid labor - though Kentucky wouldn't be the first state to do this. This has been an evergreen of America's corporatist educational establishment for a long time. The bill would also require a student's employer to verify "a work-based learning experience" - which means the student's diploma is based on how well they cater to their corporate masters.

But the drug-testing requirement stands alone in fascism.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Facebook back to silencing people on GOP orders

A regular commenter on The Online Lunchpail who I know personally has just had 2 Facebook accounts taken away in the past 2 days because she disagreed with someone.

The first recent revocation was because she criticized the Newport school system. The second occurred this morning because she posted a message on a local political forum detailing how the Republican Party of Kentucky had blacklisted her from appearing in a medical information video because of her politics. (People who weren't qualified to appear have been hired instead because of their political connections.)

She's right: They're out for blood. It's been years since I've seen it this bad. Accordingly, the Fascism Advisory System is being "upgraded" to severe (Elmo).

I've been apprised of the situation in greater detail this afternoon.

She also says her Outlook account was apparently hacked, for it had been disabled because someone sent spam from it. But this account has been restored.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Trump tried pressuring FBI to lie

Folks, Donald Trump could really be in trouble this time. This is worse than Watergate, by far.

It seems the Trump regime wanted the FBI to lie about communications between Trump associates and Russian officials. During the election campaign, Trump aides were in touch with Russia.

But the FBI refused Trump's request to suppress the stories.

How does Trump escape real trouble for this? I just don't understand how he can.


The video you've been waiting for!

If you happen to make YouTube videos, and if you happen to rock a visible overbite, count on getting requests like this from friends and fam. You probably wouldn't oblige, but I will, because I'm just so cool.

People want me to make a video in which I open the pull-tab on a can with my teeth - and use my peculiar chompers to lift the can. That I can do. And I can do it without spilling the contents of the can everywhere like a slob - at least if I lift it before I open it.

Oh, and these are friends asking me to do this. They're political allies, and they appreciate my sense of humor.

In this video, I use that handsome overbite to open a can of Cincinnati-style chili. I didn't spill a drop or slosh the stuff everywhere. Ninety-five percent of people wouldn't be able to do any of the things I do in this video. But I can. Brings a whole new meaning to "can-do" spirit...

Kentucky bill would legalize wage theft

Fascism is on the march in Kentucky, courtesy of alt-right State Sen. Chris McDaniel.

McDaniel's Senate Bill 237 would legalize wage theft and run afoul of a gamut of federal labor laws. Among other things, it would:

• Let employers take money from employees' paychecks to pay for workplace thefts allegedly committed by other workers. That's like if you go out and rob a bank because your boss doesn't pay you.

• It would repeal the minimum wage for many workers, especially those in the amusement industry.

• It would rob tipped workers of their tip money.

• It would state that lunch breaks and rest periods would no longer be required.

• It would exempt a host of industries from federal overtime rules.

Who voted for this clown? It doesn't matter, because McDaniel was allowed to run unopposed last time - just because.

No hate in the 'Gate!

Did you know that I went Roads Scholaring in Southgate yesterday? Sure. Sure you did.

This outing yielded 8 utterly pibtastic photos and videos, and you're gonna peep 'em until your ears digest themselves..

California city endorses Trump impeachment

You gotta hand it to the city of Richmond, California.

With Donald Trump's thugocracy in power for only a month, Richmond City Council has already voted to urge Congress to impeach him. Council cited his business holdings as the reason. Council's vote was unanimous.

A Trumper disrupted the council meeting by gloating, "You don't have a voice because the GOP controls Congress and you people are stupid enough to think Congress will impeach Trump." How many city councils in urban areas do the Republicans control, brainiac? That's where the real power is going to be - if the cities have the guts to use it.


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

It's not for you, revisited

I shouldn't even have to tell people this, but I must.

Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to anyone. So this is something else I've discussed with a friend - lest the need arises. If I die, my cellphone is to be turned off. Calls are not to be answered. The phone is not to be rummaged through for photos or anything else. My contact list is not to be viewed or used. Odds are that any individuals on my contact list will know I'm dead shortly after it happens anyway. They don't need to be called.

It's a shame I have to tell people this, but I don't trust anyone. People going through my mail or my cellphone scares the living dickens out of me, because some things are simply private. They're not intended for public consumption.

Fight against abusive teen programs continues

After I participated in a series of protests that successfully shut down a chain of confirmedly abusive teen residential programs in the late 2000s, the fight continues.

It continues against phony "rehabs", "therapeutic boarding schools", and psychiatric "hospitals" - programs based on a failed model.

I'm humbled to learn that I'm one of America's leaders in fighting against this abuse. I've been held back by health conditions, and I'm not any more powerful than a small-town mayor. I can't afford to hire my own ambassadors. But this is one issue where I lead - because most of our public officials do not. The crisis of institutional abuse has been catatonically swept under the rug.

This blog continues to attempt to be a referral-free zone. I will not refer anyone to a residential program.

What some people still don't seem to know is that I'm a regional coordinator for HEAL...

Somehow, my close family members didn't know this, even though I told them ages ago. They now think I retconned HEAL into existence going back 5 years or so to when I was appointed as a coordinator.

Remember, it was also HEAL that busted NorthKey for its unsafe food handling practices.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Terrifying dream last night

This is the bullshit I've had to worry about for the past 30 years every night when I go to bed.

I had a nightmare that I was working or volunteering at some large medical facility or hospital. One of my old schoolmates - the same Enemies List inductee who threw a piece of wood at me in shop class and later knocked my tooth out on the school bus - showed up for some psychological test. I was assigned to escort him down to a special waiting room in the back.

When we got there, he started harassing me. In response, one of the other hospital staffers asked me to leave the hospital. I was fired.

A family member showed up and drove me home, and I had to explain the experience to them.

But the Evil Empire normalizes all the violence that happened to me in school - even if I still have nightmares about it 30 years later.

So when does the punishment phase finally begin?

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Have no fear, the March ish is here!

Wow, this is a good ish!

The March edition of The Last Word is now pub-a-roo, and it's gonna cause your butt to fly off in public!

This is of course yet another month in which people chomped beegee and thought it was uproarious, because that's what people do. They even ruined their gum with peanut butter! But there's other interesting stuff too, like...

• Amazon and EBay scammers.

• Adults doing donuts at their high school stadium.


• The hypocrisy of "school choice" and Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day.

• People farting and making it stink.

• Kids making hilarious paper airplanes out of an idiotic school assignment.

• Vacationers writing Janet Jackson lyrics on a hotel wall.

• Dogs chewing up dentures.

• And more!

So squander your bandwidth by reading the latest ish on Scribd...

If that doesn't work, squander my bandwidth by reading it here...

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Newport must fight religious discrimination

The campaign of religious persecution going on in Kentucky of late is unprecedented in modern America.

If you look northeast at 5th & Saratoga in Newport, you'll see a billboard for what's called Ark Encounter. A strange thing that Ark Encounter is. It's a dominionist theme park 30 miles south run by the Answers in Genesis cult.

You may argue Ark Encounter is strictly a ministry. Ministries wouldn't be expected to hire anyone who doesn't follow the ministry's beliefs. But Ark Encounter has received millions of dollars in handouts funded by Kentucky taxpayers. This is unconstitutional, of course, yet it occurs anyway. Plus, once you accept taxpayer dollars, you're no longer just a ministry. Entities that receive taxpayer money are not allowed to hire people based on their religious beliefs. Yet the taxpayer-funded Ark Encounter requires employees to sign a statement of faith affirming that they follow Answers in Genesis.

It is state-sponsored discrimination. There's no other word for it.

This obligates the city of Newport to remove the billboard. If it does not do so, Newport itself is practicing illegal discrimination. Newspapers can't run classified ads for apartments that practice housing discrimination. Why should a city allow discriminatory businesses to advertise on its billboards?

In Kentucky in 2017, anyone who is not a dominionist is suffering the most extreme religious persecution seen in America in modern times. Anyone who believes in truth and love will find themselves a target.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Bevin caught lying about Volvo plant

This is a day ending in y, which means Matt Bevin lied.

During Bevin's much-laughed-at State of the Commonwealth speech, he said the Swedish ambassador told him that Volvo refused to place a factory in Kentucky because the state had no right-to-scab law then.

But the ambassador - Björn Lyrvall - says that's a lie. Lyrvall told Bevin no such thing.

In addition, Volvo officials say that so-called "right-to-work" laws were not a factor in deciding where to build a factory.

Just impeach the little liar already.


Massie gives completely crazy interview


Just wow.

This looks like something from The Onion. But no. It's real.

You've got to see how crazy our congressman has become...

Here's a summary of that interview: Our already-unpopular right-wing congressmoron - Thomas Massie - gave an interview with CNN in which he said several bizarre things.

He said the military and intelligence officials are trying to draw Donald Trump into a war with Russia. Later, he said Barack Obama tried to cover up Saudi Arabian involvement in 9/11 - even though 9/11 happened years before anyone ever heard of Obama.

This ranks up there with the time Mitch McConnell thought Israel was covered by a dome.

UK wastes $4M on locker room

I don't want to hear another word about how Kentucky universities can't have all the programs and facilities they want because of "budget cuts." Ever.

As Northern Kentucky University sells its radio station, and as the asswipe Matt Bevin slashes university budgets across the state, the University of Kentucky is planning to throw away $4 million renovating the locker room for its men's basketball team. The Republican legislature had actually approved $5 million - while other university programs have been cut for decades.

Also, even though Title IX requires parity of athletic programs, there are no similar plans to renovate the locker room for the women's basketball team.

Congratulations, Repubs, you fucked up at least 2 things today: You squandered millions of dollars and you violated Title IX. What is it with Republicans and failure?

The university also wants millions to replace the ceiling tiles in the arena - and a $21 million dining facility for athletes.


People bubbled with spearmint Bubble Yum and thought it was funny (Bubble Gum Weekend)

It's spearmint!

It's spearmint gum!

It's spearmint bubble gum! Thus its mere existence is funny.

Remember when the Bubble Yum wrapper used big, bubbly lettering? Remember when they had a spearmint flavor? Remember when people bubbled big, green bubbles with it?

Back around 1978, Bubble Yum aired a memorable commercial for its spearmint flavor. People in the commersh bubbled and laughed uncontrollably about it...

A brief synopsis in case you're afraid the bubbles in the ad will expand out of your screen and engulf you: The ad included a group of adults at a boring party. A woman sticks toothpicks into pieces of spearmint Bubble Yum and arranges them on a plate - like they're hors d'oeuvres. The woman's husband laments, "The party's dying and you're playing with Bubble Yum."

But all is well, because partygoers grab up all the beegee and blow bubbles that pop all over their faces.

Because I'm sure that's all you do when you go to parties with other mature, intelligent people.

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Just think! 20 more Scholaring photos!

Tuesday's Roads Scholaring with the Road Ruiner was like an electric bunker blast wisping up US 22!

It yielded 20 photos, and you're gonna peep 'em until your peepers are all peeped out...

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Kasich has his most ridiculous idea yet?

Gosh, who voted for this clown?

Ohio's Tea Party Gov. John Kasich has just emitted what may be the worst idea yet of his reign. Under his budget plan, Kasich would require teachers to complete an "externship" at a business in order to renew their teaching license. This means teachers would have do extra work at a business or chamber of commerce. The reason for this is because Kasich wants Big Business to be involved more in education.

As if Big Business doesn't commandeer our schools enough?

Kasich also wants to pack each school board with 3 businesspeople. I'm not saying that being a businessperson should automatically disqualify someone from being on a school board. But if there are school board seats reserved for businesspeople, why not some reserved for labor reps too?

All the Far Right cares about is molding our young people into cheap, docile labor to be exploited as cogs in the wicked capitalist system.

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

WNKU sold to evangelical broadcaster

Yet another religious radio station in greater Cincinnati? You have got to be kidding me!

Nobody listens to radio anymore - unless it's WNKU, I've noticed. The station owned by Northern Kentucky University actually still has listeners.

But for the past year - ever since the scumbag Matt Bevin slashed funding to all state universities by 4.5% - WNKU has been on the chopping block. I truly believe Bevin pressured the university into making no attempt to ensure WNKU was sold to a responsible owner. I absolutely and honestly believe that. I think Bevin wanted it to be sold to someone that shares his ideology.

Of course, the university gave him what he wanted. After my experiences with NKU's suppression of dissent, that doesn't surprise me. The school is selling WNKU for $1.9 million to Bible Broadcasting Network - which already owns almost 50 stations nationwide and perhaps hundreds of low-power translators. BBN broadcasts what is described as "conservative evangelical" programming. NKU's Portsmouth simulcast is being sold to Educational Media Foundation, another religious broadcaster that already owns too many stations. The Middletown simulcast is awaiting a buyer too.

The FCC will of course rubber-stamp this purchase. They always do. It's easier for some checkbook clergy operation to buy a station in a major city than it is for the average person to buy a pack of bubble gum.

Since the FCC won't intervene, the city of Highland Heights should evict the station.

Congratulations, Matt Bevin and the FCC! Because of the FCC and Bevin not doing their jobs, about the only interesting thing we have now on local radio is American Top 40 reruns on WGRR. It's a shame I'll have to sit through all those commercials for cosmetic dentistry services I don't want, but I still enjoy hearing ol' Casey.


Monday, February 13, 2017

Oregon may repeal Sudafed prescription law

The far-right drug warriors cheered back in 2006 when Oregon became the first state to pass a law requiring a prescription for over-the-counter cold and allergy medicine that contains pseudoephedrine. The lying sack of shit media was happy to help the failed drug war cause by falsely claiming that the Republican-backed law reduced the incidence of meth labs. (Oddly enough, the Portland media is so right-wing that it makes the Cincinnati media look like The Last Word in comparison.)

Of course, they clammed up the moment a real drug case fell right in their laps, but that's another matter entirely.

Now there's a bill in Oregon that would repeal the prescription requirement. If it's repealed, it would make Mississippi the last state that requires a prescription for allergy medicine.


Thursday, February 9, 2017

Indiana town continues classist land grab

Fascism is on the march in Charlestown, Indiana.

The town is home to a neighborhood called Pleasant Ridge - which has lots of low-income, working-class people. Some are families, and some are elderly or suffer from life-threatening illnesses. For over a year, right-wing city officials have been trying to demolish the neighborhood and replace it with luxury housing and upscale businesses.

Officials' language about Pleasant Ridge is openly classist. Officials called the neighborhood a "menace" to the rest of the town. They say Pleasant Ridge stands in the way of reshaping Charlestown as a more conservative high-end suburb. The city has fined Pleasant Ridge landlords - not because they did anything wrong, but because they want to encourage them to sell their property to developers.

Even the usually conservative Institute for Justice calls the case "the most outrageous property rights abuse in the U.S. right now." Pleasant Ridge residents have even filed a lawsuit accusing the city of being in cahoots with the developer. The lawsuit claims property owners can skip the fines by selling to the developer - as long as they sell all their properties in the neighborhood, not just those with the fines.

When city officials' campaign against Pleasant Ridge began, city council passed a resolution calling for a "permanent solution" to the neighborhood. A "permanent solution"????? Really????? Uh. That really sounds...bad. Very, very bad. The resolution also referred to Pleasant Ridge as "the projects" - which isn't even an official name for it, but was included just because of the images it evokes.

Of course, land grabs like this aren't limited to small towns. We've seen them in Cincinnati too, and elsewhere locally. I've discussed before that Over-the-Rhine has been slowly gnawed away at for some time by developers and the hated 3CDC. As idiotic as that land grab is, Charlestown officials aren't even pretending to be nice about theirs.

The Charlestown lawsuit may have slowed the city's campaign of econocide - but a lot of damage has already been done, and it's placed a lot of stress on ailing residents. Hopefully, what remains of Pleasant Ridge can be saved before it's too late.


Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Finally caught up on my Scholaring photos!

When will I be caught up on my recent Roads Scholaring photos? When the bubble gum busts.

The bustage must have taken place, because I'm finally caught up!

Best all, this is a new era in Scholaring, as now we have the Road Ruiner - an electric bicycle! You're gonna love it!

First off, we've got several items from a Road Ruiner outing on Waterworks Road in Newport...

As a bonus, we've got a few photos from a very minor automotive Scholaring in Highland Heights...

It fails to stink.

Trump threatens Cincinnati over immigration rule

You don't threaten our cities like this, Donald. Ever.

After Cincinnati recently declared that it is a sanctuary city that will protect immigrants, so-called President Trump is now threatening to cut off federal funding for the city's roads, bridges, and other projects.

The Western Hills Viaduct is about to collapse, and Donald Trump is trying to cheaply manipulate the city like this.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

22 more Scholaring photos!

Twenty-two in a bottle of poo!

Last year was a slow one for Roads Scholaring, but I've now got all of 2016's Scholaring photos up, and the final batch from last year includes 22 photos from Newport!

Nothing great, but this time, I focus primarily on the urban prairie where KY 9 is plowing through...

Monday, February 6, 2017

Missouri enacts Klan-backed "right-to-work" law

The state of Missouri has long had a self-destruct button that's been tightly guarded enough to not have a lying piece shit like so-called Gov. Eric Greitens touch it. But today he pulled the trigger, and yet another state's economy has been replaced by a cloud of sawdust.

Today, Greitens signed a Ku Klux Klan-backed "right-to-work" bill into law - ignoring an earlier referendum in which Missouri voters soundly rejected such a measure.

Hey, I know what we can do about it: Blow a bubble. That'll show them! No, seriously, I know what can do about it: Blow a bubble inside a bubble. That'll really show 'em!

But seriously. Ever consider just ignoring the fucking law? I don't go around encouraging people to break the law. But this law is unconstitutional, so it's fair game.

I posted some Scholaring photos and thought it was funny

Nineteen! Nineteen! Nineteen!

I have 19 brand bippus bustin' new Roads Scholaring photos and videos from the Cincinnati area that will cause a 10-foot-tall Sesame Street sign to sprout forth from your noggin.

Our first set focuses on the river cities of Campbell County (the cool part)...

The next set focuses on Cincinnati's East End neighborhood and even has a few bonus items from Silverton...

Why not peep and weep?