Tuesday, January 31, 2017

North Dakota! South Dakota! Nebraska! It's a great place to fart, I mean start!

Back in September, I embarked on my only out-of-town roadtrip of 2016! It focused primarily on Theodore Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota - a people's park!

These 173 photos and videos cover 7 states, and you're gonna peep every one of them until your face flies off in public...


Mysterious Trump convoy sighted in Louisville

In America, you fly the American flag. Not the Trump flag.

On Sunday, folks in Louisville saw what appeared to be a military convoy speeding down Interstate 65 - carrying a large flag emblazoned with the name "TRUMP." (This occurred the day before pro-Trump thugs beat demonstrators in Louisville.) However, it probably wasn't actually any branch of the military.

I've seen government agencies display partisan items, circulate political e-mails, and improperly advocate political causes. But the Defense Department says the vehicles in the convoy do not appear to currently belong to any service branch. Nearby Fort Knox and the Kentucky National Guard also say the vehicles weren't theirs. It would of course violate military regulations to fly a flag like this on vehicles.

Some believe the convoy actually belonged to a military contractor - which wouldn't surprise me at all. I remember the Fletcher administration hiring a contractor for a state construction job that had one of their trucks with Republican bumper stickers parked along a local highway for years - which was an eyesore even without the partisan advocacy.

If it isn't the military or a contractor, what's going on here? How did some outside Trumper group get hold of so many military vehicles? And what other military equipment do they have?

(Source: http://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/local/2017/01/30/military-convoy-trump-flag-rolls-through/97255844)

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Trump disobeys court order on Muslim ban

Here's another issue we can't just bubble away.

Dictator Trump's travel ban is un-American. This ban afflicts refugees and even legal U.S. residents who are from predominantly Muslim countries.

A federal judge blocked enforcement of the ban nationwide. But guess what? Trump is just ignoring this order outright. His Department of Homeland Security - designed as a Bush plaything - has announced it would continue to enforce the ban.

Yes, Donald Trump disobeyed a federal court order.


That, my friends, is impeachable.

Friday, January 27, 2017

More media gaslighting against public education

I'm sick of hearing about "school choice" - when it robs us (the taxpayers) of the choice not to subsidize bad private schools.

As part of the far-right National School Choice Week, private schools are making students attend rallies at statehouses all over America to demand public subsidies of private schools. And the right-wing media is of course happy to help.

For one thing, it violates IRS regulations for religious schools to promote political activity. For another, it's unconstitutional for public money to fund these schools. But just as importantly, The Media is engaging in gaslighting with its one-sided coverage of each event. If there is one "alternative fact" that the right-wing media has been consistent on, it's their notion that private schools are superior to public schools. Anyone who dares to disagree is shouted down.

The Media's stance is a lie. I know public schools are superior, because I have experience to know. I'm not saying the ones I attended were good. I'm just saying they were better than the other option.

I know, man, it's just so frightening how oppressed private schools are. It's a total tragedy. Just joking! Seriously, the people yammering to support "school choice" are actually looking for a taxpayer-funded bailout for a failed system.

When a state unconstitutionally subsidizes private schools, it is the people's prerogative to seize property from these schools as collateral.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

A Snuffleupagus moment with Dusty Lenscap

I just found this on YouTube when I wasn't even looking for it!

I stumbled upon a YouPube item featuring the audio of a 1988 newscast on WLW radio in Cincinnati. I listened to this expecting to hear whatever fake news against Michael Dukakis that was in circulation that day, but apparently WLW had higher standards than that in 1988. Instead I got Snuffleupagused.

For years, I've insisted there was a radio commercial for Kmart's photo processing center that featured Dusty Lenscap and a ridiculous jingle that sang, "As long as you're comin' to Kmart, don't forget the film!" The only station I remember hearing it on was the old WLAP-FM in Lexington. Kmart had such a miserable photo developing department that I always sang, "As long as you're comin' to Kmart, leave the film at home!" But everybody said I was just making the whole thing up.

Well, once again, YouTube saves the day!

This very commersh can be found at 1:15 in this WLW clip...

Believe me now? Or are we just going to keep living in denial?

Also notice that WLW played a little bit of music back in 1988. At the end of the clip, the station seamlessly segues into a Moody Blues record.

Trump full of shit about voter fraud (imagine that!)

Sore loser Donald Trump keeps whining that he lost the popular vote only because of voter fraud - and nobody believes him. Absolutely nobody.

Now the Donald has come up with a story to try to back up his claim that's bizarre even by his own standards. Trump claims that he knows there was voter fraud because German golf legend Bernhard Langer - who he describes as a friend - wasn't allowed to vote. With no basis whatsoever, Trump speculated that voters who were in line with Langer - and who were permitted to vote - must have come from various Latin American countries.

When Trump related this laughable story, the room fell silent in shock. Reince Priebus and John Cornyn urged Trump to change the subject immediately.

The reason Langer wasn't allowed to vote is because - even though he now lives in Florida - he's not a U.S. citizen. Plus, it turns out Langer isn't a Trump pal at all. Langer's daughter said of the golfer, "He is not a friend of President [sic] Trump's."

I guess Donald Trump is such an egotist and narcissist that he thinks all publicity is good publicity.

(Source: https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/01/25/us/politics/trump-bernhard-langer-voting-fraud.html)

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Faster than a speeding celebrity look-alike...

I saw a celebrity look-alike today, and it was as funny as all the rest!

I goed Roads Scholaring with the Road Ruiner out on Waterworks Road, and on the way home, I stopped at the Jersey Mike's in Newport. While I was in there masticating a nice, chewy sandwich, I saw some guy who looked just like the late Superman actor Christopher Reeve! He resembled Reeve in his Clark Kent persona, with a suit and glasses.

Women's March comes to Pikeville

I didn't think the Women's March would be a very large event, but wow, was I ever wrong! Small towns in Appalachia drew hundreds to their local marches.

There was a march in Pikeville, Kentucky, on Saturday that drew 100, which is a remarkable number for such a small town...


This is especially significant because small towns and rural counties have become the Far Right's geographic base. I'm especially impressed by the sign at the Pikeville march that read, "FIGHT TRUMPISM WITH SOCIALISM."

In Pikeville, of all places!

These marches are the real deal.

Monday, January 23, 2017

I support the protesters

Before anyone asks, I fully support the women's march and satellite events that took place over the weekend all over America. The D.C. event was the biggest protest in America's history, and attendance dwarfed Trump's inauguration many times over.

I also fully support Friday's protests in D.C. against the inauguration itself. Those who are urging the Army to beat protesters are sowing bigotry and extremism.

I fully support efforts to fight Trump-inspired Nazi vandalism that has recently plagued local schools and institutions, and I am urging prosecution to the fullest extent against the assailant in the recent Trump-linked hate crime in Wilder (which The Media has yet to report).

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Facebook founder suing landowners to force them to sell

Judging by the way Facebook deletes posts and yanks accounts for disagreeing with the Far Right, this story isn't much of a surprise.

Companies controlled by Facepoo founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg are suing hundreds of people on the Hawaiian island of Kauai in an effort to force them to sell him their land - totaling over 8 acres. The billionaire wants them to sell because his own beachfront land surrounds these parcels, and he's mad because these landowners have to use his land to access their land.

The landowners have had their land in their families for hundreds of years.

I bet Mark Fuckerberg wishes Hawaii had a feudalist governor like Matt Bevin.

(Source: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/asian-america/facebook-s-zuckerberg-suing-hundreds-hawaiians-force-them-sell-property-n708951)

Have no fear, the February ish is here!

Sorry to disappoint you, but out of 19 articles in the latest ish of The Last Word, only 5 of them are primarily about gum.

But this 14-pager is one of the thickest editions in years, and it has so many nifty things for you to peep and weep. In this issue...

• I proudly break the law with my new electric bike.

• We were denied a youth center.

• People poop on stuff.

• Kroger sells Freedent nobody buys.

• Being cool.

• The Internet argues about bubble gum.

• A person rips out their braces because they didn't want or need them.

• Someone burned something at school.

• A person wiped boogers on stuff.

• A folder got ruined by gum.

• And more!

If you can still access The Last Word on Scribd, point your pooper here...


Otherwise, you can find the latest ish here...


Friday, January 20, 2017

Tim's rock video

Back when I was about 10, I came up with an idea for a music video! It was for a song that hadn't been written yet, but trust me, you'll love my idea, because of the Sesame Street reference...

Workers quit because of prevailing wage repeal

The Kentucky GOP still hasn't provided a reason why they repealed prevailing wage or told us who they're trying to appeal to. Oh well, to each their own, I guess.

Now a construction firm in central Kentucky has informed its workers that - because of prevailing wage repeal - pay for scale jobs is dropping from $23 to $15/hour, while pay for non-scale jobs is being reduced from $15 to $11/hour. Plus, their allowance for hotel stays for out-of-town jobs is being eliminated entirely - so they have to pay for lodging out of their own paychecks.

At the snap of a finger, the Republican Party of Kentucky has managed to slash wages by 35%. Just because they felt like it.

Following this announcement, 15 workers at this company promptly quit their jobs.

What's the point in even trying to work when Damon Thayer just steals your money and gives it to billionaires?

(Incidentally, the Boone County Schools actively campaigned for prevailing wage repeal. This is just the latest example of our local schools politicizing everything.)

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Iowa uniform bill stalls

A Republican bill in Iowa that would allow public schools to force kids to wear uniforms has stalled.

Right-wingers claim to be for smaller government, but they lie. Their support of this bill proves they lie.

Republican State Sen. Brad Zaun championed the bill - though the topic might be a bit of a sore spot in Iowa, for Iowa was the state that inspired the Tinker v. Des Moines ruling, which banned public school uniforms. The Iowa State Education Association opposed the bill because it ran roughshod over on freedom of expression. Democratic Sen. Herman Quirmbach also spoke against it. He said of the bill, "We are infringing on people's constitutional rights. That is not a trivial thing to do."

But Republicans do it all the time.

(Source: http://www.desmoinesregister.com/story/news/politics/2017/01/19/bill-mandatory-school-uniforms-stalls-iowa-senate/96787412)

A person bunkerooed at Kroger

About Kroger: A person bunkerooed there.

Today after my dentist appointment, I goed Krogering at the Bellevue location. Operation KroGum did of course continue, and someone ripped an LAP bunker blast while I was in the part of the store that sold chips and crackers. The audio was unmistakable. It was a roo.

Best all, there was a police incident too. I saw cops gathering near the store's back room near the deodorant and talking about how they were reviewing surveillance video of something.

Kentucky GOP thugs attack Miles accuser

This story shows you what sort of criminals fill the Republican Party of Kentucky.

Back in September, a jury indicted GOP zillionaire Billy Joe Miles - former chair of the University of Kentucky's board of trustees - for allegedly raping a woman. Miles is well-connected. In fact, his daughter is fascist State Rep. Suzanne Miles.

Right after the indictment, Billy Joe Miles's accuser became the target of threats and outright assaults. She received a threatening message on Facebook from one of Miles's thugs. Then someone threw a hammer through her windshield from a passing vehicle as she was driving. Sometime later, the car burst into flames while she was driving it. She also received 6 harassing phone calls in only 3 minutes that appeared to be from one of Miles's daughters.

Now the state has taken over the prosecution, because Miles has too many political connections in Daviess County. Miles may face up to 45 years in prison, but he's 77.

Are we done living in denial about the violence, hate, and corruption of the Kentucky GOP?

(Source: http://www.kentucky.com/news/local/crime/article127390239.html)

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Road Ruiner premortem

The Road Ruiner is here!

But wait! You didn't expect it to not be defective, did you? Guess what? It is. I'm using it anyway.

The Road Ruiner is a bicycle that happens to have a small electric motor that you can use to navigate greater Cincinnati's otherwise impassable hills. It looks just like a regular bike, and it didn't cost much more than the Peace Bike did when I buyed it 13 years ago. But there's a few problems. That's in addition to the fact that the assembly instructions are absolutely terrible.

It's clear I was sold a bike that someone had returned, even though it was advertised as new. There's a huge scrape on the frame. But that's only cosmetic. It's sort of like my punk rocker teeth. Nothing I'd ever lose sleep over or spend any money to fix.

There's more serious problems though. The left pedal that came with the Road Ruiner couldn't be installed, because the threads were stripped. So I had to remove a pedal from the Peace Bike and use it instead.

The seat can't be adjusted any higher than its lowest level, because if you do, your weight just shoves it back down. This is useful only for extremely short people. Also, the gear shifters do not work. At all. One of the brakes does not work. At all.

But the motor works. I think. I haven't gone any further than a couple houses away with it yet, because it's poured down rain all day.

This is the major purchase I was talking about that might be illegal in Kentucky. If the Road Ruiner is illegal, I've already kablammoed that Allowed Cloud clean into the stratosphere by testing it. I don't follow your laws, Bevster.

West Chester tries passing "right-to-work" law

When officials in West Chester Township, north of Cincinnati, aren't falling over theirselves to stop people from beating off to Playboy, they're trying to fleece workers to subsidize nonunion labor.

Although Ohio is not a right-to-scab state, township officials want to pass their own "right-to-work" law. This despite the fact that a federal court just threw out such a law in a Chicago suburb.

Workers have attended the township government meeting to protest the move.

(Source: http://www.wcpo.com/news/local-news/butler-county/west-chester/unions-protest-west-chesters-right-to-work-move)

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Hate crime in Wilder

There was a hate crime in Wilder this morning.

A Hispanic employee of United Dairy Farmers was subjected to a diatribe of racial slurs. The assailant was a male in a green Toyota pickup.

Brossart territory. Again.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Bill would ban unionization of federal employees

If you're an America-hating fuck, you support this bill.

A new bill introduced by Nazi Rep. Todd Rokita (R-Indiana) - who was previously known for his racist comments - would outlaw labor unions for new federal employees. It also applies to agencies such as the postal service. This bill is of course unconstitutional, but that never stops assholes like Rokita.

The bill says of federal workers: "Such an employee may be removed or suspended, without notice or right to appeal, from service by the head of the agency at which such employee is employed for good cause, bad cause, or no cause at all." This clause is even worse than it sounds. Not only does it let bosses fire people just because, but these managers may be political appointees.

Hey, I know what I'll do. I'll chew gum and blow a bubble so the problem goes away.

(Source: http://postalnews.com/blog/2017/01/06/gop-bill-would-eliminate-union-representation-for-new-postal-workers)

Illinois suburb's right-to-scab law thrown out

Don't look now, but the town of Lincolnshire, Illinois - where we once got ejected from a ridiculous miniature golf course - has just found its anti-worker "right-to-work" ordinance thrown out in federal court.

But this ruling doesn't erase the unconstitutional "right-to-work" laws that gunk things up statewide in 27 states. At the same time, however, it doesn't say cities in so-called "right-to-work" states can't opt out of their state laws. Not like I expect them to have the spine to do it.

(Source: http://capitolfax.com/2017/01/08/federal-judge-strikes-down-lincolnshires-right-to-work-ordinance)

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Tim parodies ketchup ad

Tim uses an old Heinz ketchup commercial to coolsplain the influence of bubble gum...

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Prevailing wage repeal??? Really???

Republicans in the Kentucky legislature just hit dumbdirt. Their underpants-staining disregard for democratic institutions this week is unprecedented in American history for any state legislature.

A host of unpopular right-wing bills have sailed through the legislature this week and will become law, such as Dan Johnson's misnamed "right-to-work" bill. But perhaps the most hated bill among these is the repeal of Kentucky's prevailing wage.

Lawmakers are actually lowering wages??? Seriously??? Man, did they just step in a big pile. Who is this law supposed to appeal to (in Kentucky, no less)? How are they going to richsplain this to voters?

A more detailed analysis of the Kentucky GOP is beneath my dignity - and I don't live to please them anyway. Even when a person isn't directly affected by the party's ideas, you'd think they'd have enough pride in their state not to tolerate it. But prevailing wage repeal will have a real negative impact. You may notice that a lot of school buildings built before prevailing wage was enacted are of shoddy quality.

And for those who say I should keep quiet because I don't work for a state contractor, tough toilets. You can't be sure I've never asked to work for one - and was rejected because it was some Republican business that won a state contract because of its political ties.

A few words about a couple other new Republican laws: Their abortion laws violate Roe v. Wade. End of story.

Tim rocks strabismus!

After I posted my video that showcased my amazing missing tooth, you knew the next thing I was going to rock was my strabismus.

I have a new YouTube video where I try to educate you about how cool this optical disorder is, and I try to show you how I'm able to cross my eye...

I repeat, you're only allowed to do that if you're cool.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

I almost violated an Allowed Cloud without realizing it

Something just occurred to me about a major purchase I'm making.

I buyed something costly. Low triple digits, but costly by my standards. For the record, it's not a weapon. I'll probably have the item next week.

I wasn't even thinking about the legality of it. I just figured it was an item that not only greatly facilitates something I'm already doing, but is probably necessary to have, considering the circumstances. But then it dawned on me that some crackpot might try to make an Allowed Cloud out of it.

As it turns out, our team of legal eagles says I'm in the clear in almost all 50 states. But guess what? Kentucky is not of them.

Too fucking bad. I'm doing what I want. Instead of violating an Allowed Cloud without realizing it, now I'm doing it knowingly. I don't give a shit.

2017 Tim forms

The Kentucky legislature has truly spread the stupid on thick this week - but the 2017 Tim is here to not merely challenge it, but defy it.

No real Kentuckian is happy about lawmakers' agenda. But I may be less disappointed than any other normal person, because at least they've brung it to me instead of confining it to some distant territory where I won't get the chance to fight it. I'll cork open the bevs and bask in the fact that when Kentucky collapses, I'm not the one who is going to have to explain theirselves.

I have much more confidence now than any time in decades. I will call people out - and not just on this blog. That's the 2017 Tim.

Try me. I'm not just asking questions anymore. I'm demanding answers. If you've talked to me at length in person in recent days, you'll know what I mean.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Ridiculous orange juice commersh found

This is usually a serious political blog, but let's kick off '17 with a Snuffleupagus moment!

For years, I've been insisting there was a TV ad for the orange juice industry in which a person slowly and dramatically lifts the glass of juice up to their mouth, before the commersh suddenly ends with the glass spilling the juice towards the viewer. It was one of those things that's just unintentionally hilarious. It looked absolutely ridiculous.

I thought for sure the ad aired around 1990. I remember a family member remarking on how silly it looked, and I thought for sure I was a teenager at the time. But I accidentally found it on YouTube while looking for something else, and it's dated 1979. It's in a collection of commercials from that era, and you have to fast-forward to 8:45...


Here's a synopsis of that commersh in case you're afraid a mallet might pop out of your computer screen and break your glasses if you visit YouPube: A man discovers a pitcher of orange juice in his fridge and proceeds to pour it into a glass. Dramatic music plays, and a smile grows on his face. He lifts the glass full of juice up to his mouth. But as the ad ends, instead of him drinking the juice, the glass slowly ejects juice into the viewer's face. The video freezes on a shot of the top of the glass with the juice spilling out.

You have to admit it looks totally ridiculous. It looks like he's about to spill orange juice all over the floor, thereby wasting it.