Sunday, March 31, 2019

Rudeness and celebrity look-alikes!

I've just been informed that several celebrity look-alikes have been seen on an international trip - both in the U.S. and abroad. As an added bonus, tourists from a host of different countries have engaged in all sorts of hijinks!

I'm told that a C. Everett Koop look-alike was seen emerging from the terminal building at the Cincinnati airport. Later, a "Weird Al" Yankovic look-alike was spotted strolling down the street in Lima, Peru.

On an international flight, a man behaved in a hilariously rude fashion, watching Bohemian Rhapsody on his phone without using an earpiece - so everyone around him could hear it. The flight attendants twice scolded him, but both times, he stopped for only a few minutes and then started back up again. Then he cleaned out his ears and sprinkled the wax onto the seat and passenger in front of him. (When I took a Megabus to Indianapolis for an Occupy protest outside the Super Bowl in 2012, a passenger watched a stand-up comedy act full of R-rated jokes on his laptop - also without an earpiece. But the driver and all the other passengers thought it was funny.)

Also during this trip, an Australian tourist released a premeditated bunkeroo in the entryway of a hotel. Her air biscuit could be heard 40 feet away in the breakfast room.

At a different hotel breakfast room, an elderly German visitor oafishly smashed a ceramic plate.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Have no fear, the April ish is here!

April wouldn't be April if the April issue of The Last Word didn't loom!

This edition is rather nondescript by our standards but a dynamo nonetheless! In this installment, we talk about a flood that destroyed rare baseball cards, glue being wasted in 8th grade, decorative soap, people stealing from Kroger and UDF, musical farts, and more!

So point your pooper here...

If that doesn't work, you can find it here...

Kentucky GOP faces ethics charges over attempt to steal election

Remember when Republicans in the Kentucky House tried to steal that seat in Owensboro and landed on their asses with a thud?

Now the Kentucky Legislative Ethics Commission has agreed to hear an ethics complaint filed against Republican leaders over it. It seems Republicans used state resources including a staff lawyer to help prepare the challenge to the election results. Such misuse of taxpayer funds is illegal.

The commission can impose civil fines of up to $2,000 per violation. But here's the best part: It can also recommend expulsion of offending legislators.

And I hope it does.


Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Right-wing media has egg on its face after Smollett's exoneration

Hate crimes are real. No doubt about it. They happen because hateful people who commit them are allowed out in society - unfortunately.

In January, actor Jussie Smollett claimed to be the victim of a racist, homophobic, politically charged assault in Chicago. At first, I had no reason to think it was a hoax - because I couldn't think of any hate crimes that turned out to be hoaxes. The right-wing media claims hate crime hoaxes are an everyday thing, but you'd be hard-pressed to name even a single one. I remembered one racist hate crime years ago in which the victim was charged with faking it, but it turned out to be real, and the victim was cleared - though right-wing commentators continued to claim it was a hoax.

Later, some evidence emerged that appeared to suggest Smollett had faked the attack. But he insisted on his innocence. The evidence didn't seem to work in his favor, but I was one of the last people on this Earth who thought there was a chance - however small - he might be innocent. Evidence is not solid proof. Modern America has a long enough record of hate crimes - and cover-ups - that I thought there was still a possibility the attack against Smollett was real.

Now it's been announced that Smollett has been completely exonerated of all criminal charges that accused him of faking the attack. Cleared. Charges dropped. He is completely innocent. In fact, the charges were completely expunged from his record.

In other words, corrupt police officials and the right-wing media just spent 2 months trying to frame an actor for faking a hate crime. This shows once again we can't just rely on evidence without waiting for facts that contradict it. This time, the false narrative was more effective than usual at manipulating public opinion.

It's unclear whether Smollett is planning any legal action against the Chicago Police Department for its bungling of the case. I think Congress needs to open an investigation into the media's repeated lying about cases like this. Media executives and commentators need to be hauled before legislators to answer some tough questions.

Friday, March 22, 2019

Harvard study says Ritalin increases risk of psychosis

It's pretty bad when I have to cite CNBC because the rest of the media won't pick up an important story like this.

Yet another study has proven that popular ADHD drugs increase the risk of psychosis. Researchers at Harvard Medical School and McLean Hospital say that the drugs - including Ritalin, Adderall, and others - raise the potential of developing psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations and major depressive disorder.

The study covered people ages 13 to 25 and has been published in the New England Journal of Medicine. The use of these toxins has tripled in the past 20 years - and was already outrageously high 20 years ago.

Now watch the lying shitsack right-wing media sweep this story under the rug - like they do with every study that discredits ADHD drugs.


Thursday, March 21, 2019

Newport Police under fire for '17 incident

Channel 9 has been investigating a 2017 incident involving Newport Police officers' use of force against a group of men in a car...

The men only spoke Spanish, but the police kept giving commands in English.

What's particularly chilling is this statement in the news report: "Newport officers delivered more blows to the head than any other local department since January 2016."

That statement doesn't exactly boost my confidence in police. Is it considered a regular thing for police to go around slugging people in the head?

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Bevin refused to get kids vaccinated

I've said it before: We have a right to insist on maximum safety standards in vaccinations. But you don't get to be an irresponsible clod about it.

So-called Gov. Matt Bevin of Kentucky said in a radio interview yesterday that he refused to get his 9 children vaccinated for chickenpox. There seems to be no defensible reason for his decision. It seems as if he did it just to make a point about what he considered government overreach - even though some of his own public policies are overreach.

Instead of the vaccine, Bevin found a neighbor who had chickenpox and exposed his kids to them. "They got the chickenpox on purpose because we found a neighbor that had it, and I went and made sure every one of my kids was exposed to it, and they got it," Bevin said.

Why??? The vaccine has been available since 1995, so why be unnecessarily exposed? There have been a few fatalities from chickenpox, but the only reported death from a chickenpox vaccine was that of a child whose immune system was already compromised by leukemia. I think we can feel pretty confident that the vaccine is no more dangerous than the disease itself. Nobody knows more than I do that there have been some major cover-ups in medicine - for instance, I know Ritalin is a scam - but I'm pretty satisfied that the chickenpox vaccine is safe and Bevin is being his usual Flat Earth Society self. Shame on me if I'm wrong, but at least I look at science before I draw conclusions.

Bevin never looks at science. He always shoots his mouth off instead of trying to do anything productive.


Saturday, March 16, 2019

Local student sues health department over vaccines

I'm adamant that if there's even a hint that vaccinations pose any danger to health, it must be confronted and remedied.

But my view is based on science - not religion. I'm just as unwavering in my view that religious exemptions from vaccines should be abolished. This story shows why. These exemptions endanger the general public.

Our Lady of the Sacred Heart/Assumption Academy is a right-wing Catholic school in Walton that allows religious exemptions for the chickenpox vaccine. This school is now experiencing a chickenpox epidemic that has sidelined 32 students.

Because of this outbreak, the Northern Kentucky Health Department has ordered any unvaccinated student at this school to stay home for 21 days. This order also bars them from school sports.

Now a high school senior who plays basketball for this school is suing the health department over this directive, claiming a vaccination violates his Catholic beliefs. "For the health department to say we have to get vaccines in order to go to school, that's infringing upon my First Amendment right," he groaned.

The judge ought to laugh this case right out of the courtroom. No real legal theory allows one to use a religious exemption to directly endanger the public. But I'm not confident that the suit will be tossed, because Kentucky courts have a history of making up special religious rights that are not constitutionally protected - even allowing people to force their religious beliefs on others.

Friday, March 15, 2019

A bunker blast trilogy!

The past week has seen a whole series of ghastly blasts!

A woman reports that she's detected 3 - count 'em, 3 - rock snakes in the past week. The first occurred when she went grocery shopping with her husband at Kroger. The supermarket stank of soiled britches. At the end of this trip, her husband admitted that he had released SBD air biscuits throughout.

A few nights later, the woman called the parents of her son's school pal to see what was going on at school. When she was leaving a voicemail, her husband cracked a good ol' LAP.

Today, the woman was at a waiting room at the doctor's office. A man fell asleep in a chair and released an LAP while he was snoozing.

Lori Loughlin likes gum (Bubble Gum Weekend)

Lori Loughlin - an actress best known for her role on Full House - is one of dozens of rich and famous people accused of involvement in the college admissions bribery scandal. Authorities believe wealthy parents paid millions to bribe college officials to get their kids into the best schools.

Surprised by this scandal? Favoritism like this has been going on in my area for decades. The only difference is that my area doesn't have many good schools.

Lori loves bubble gum. She discusses the zesty goo every chance she gets, and she even blows bubbles in front of nationwide TV audiences. Recently, she appeared on Live With Kelly And Ryan and fed the hosts some beegee as she bubbled...

Lori bubbled repeatedly, and the studio audience cheered - because after all, bubble gum is the most knee-slappingly funny stuff ever invented.

One of the show's hosts, Kelly Ripa, is known for playing Hayley on All My Children in the early '90s. I'm aware of this because my mom always taped All My Children off TV and watched it while I was in the living room doing my homework. Hayley often gummed, but I don't remember her ever bubbling. She started out as a hilarious character who got in trouble all the time and got yelled at by her uncle (whose voice sounded like Crank from The Electric Company).

Meanwhile, Lori Loughlin - who gave such an upbeat interview in the above clip only a month ago - is now finding her own career in ruins.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Facebook fascism continues

I am this close to leaving Facebook altogether. I am fed up with Facebook deleting my posts and my friends' accounts just because of their opinions.

And yes, it is Facebook - not group admins - deleting my posts. When an admin deletes your posts, you get a notification from Facebook. When Facebook deletes them, you don't. Besides, Facebook recently deleted 2 posts I made on my own Facebook page. I know it was Facebook that deleted them, because why would I delete my own posts?

The Kentucky tax hike you never hear about

The 2019 session of the Kentucky legislature is every bit the right-wing cavalcade of stupid we expected, but 2018 may have been even worse.

The Far Right claims to be for lower taxes. They lie. Last year, not only did Republican lawmakers expand the 6% sales tax to more services, but they also raised the personal income tax so they could give more money to billionaires. Because this was during their malicious efforts to steal from teachers by slashing their pensions, most folks were paying attention to that instead.

Kentucky - like a vast majority of other states and like all First World countries - used to have a graduated income tax. But last year, they raised the income tax for most workers from 2% to 5%. At the same time, they lowered taxes for the rich from 6% to 5%. The ultimate goal is to abolish this tax altogether and replace it with a head tax - levying the same actual amount of taxes on each person, not the same percentage.

Not only does Kentucky's recent tax increase cost most workers, but it's another handout to the rich and big corporations. Kentucky has become a kleptocracy.

Progressive taxation is a foundation for civilization. Without it, we have no society. But Kentucky is now one of very few states without a graduated income tax.

Why did lawmakers raise taxes on the working class? The Campbell County GOP's now-defunct Tumblr blog provided a clue. That page said last year's tax "reforms" were "Biblical taxation." They provided no Bible verses to back it up though.

In other words, the Republican Party of Kentucky seems to think that by raising taxes and lying about it, they're on a mission from God. They think they're the Blues Brothers!

It's nice to know Kentucky is ruled by a dominionist party. It's hard to see how Republicans expect to win votes by raising taxes just to give billionaires free money. No wonder they lost so many seats in the Kentucky House after this happened. It's a shock that they still have any.

It's time for a federal constitutional amendment against regressive taxation. I doubt the Kentucky GOP would obey it, because they hate the Constitution, but other states might be encouraged to balance out their tax systems. Progressive taxation is a must to maintain the living standards common to modern democratic societies.

Monday, March 4, 2019

Fake "anti-tax" group shakes down Cincinnati taxpayers over made-up scandal

COAST is a so-called "anti-tax" organization in Cincinnati that supported the tax increase to fund the Reds and Bengals stadiums.

In recent months, COAST has played up the "Gang of Five" nonstory surrounding Cincinnati City Council members. The investigation was politically motivated. While COAST's allies in the press accused 5 Democratic council members of violating Ohio's Open Meetings Act, it has ignored the secret communications, backroom deals, and outright crime by Republican elected officials in suburbs on both sides of the river.

Now city taxpayers are on the hook for $101,000 to settle a frivolous lawsuit filed by COAST against council members. This comes after the city paid COAST $600,000 to settle frivolous suits they filed years ago.

In brief, an organization that claims to oppose government waste just cost the city - i.e., the taxpayers - hundreds of thousands of dollars. At the same time, the right-wing media fails to report on local government officials who are involved in real corruption.

Saturday, March 2, 2019

Amazon goes Krogering

I just received an urgent e-mail about yet another celebrity look-alike. According to this major headline news bulletin, someone who strongly resembled Amazon founder Jeff Bezos was sighted at Kroger this morn.

This same report says the Windows 10 news app showed a photo of a man bubbling at the New York Stock Exchange. The caption awkwardly said, "A trader blows a bubble with a chewing gum."

Friday, March 1, 2019

Have no fear, the March ish is here!

As The Last Word shuffles along after 26 years, the March issue is pub, and it's a beaut!

This ish blasts 'The Bachelor' and talks about a ruined Morton Downey Jr. poster, people ruining records by playing them on a Victrola, the "cheaters edition" of Monopoly, a terrible East German car, and more!

Thy pooper should be pointed plumb-bob here...

If that doesn't work, you can find the latest Last Word here...