Another batch of weird dreams

The weird dreams have been stacking up like Tinkertoys, and I've yet to make any attempt to interpret the latest batch. So here's a list of the latest (but this list doesn't include the one where Stevie Nicks ran for President)...

• I had a dream that I visited a restaurant with a giant TV screen that was showing an old MTV clip from the '80s featuring VJ Carolyne Heldman. This restaurant's specialty was that each table had a remote control with a keypad that allowed customers to write insulting things on the TV screen about the person who appeared onscreen.

• Later I had a dream where I moved to Massachusetts and rode a bike to Maine to buy groceries. The path on the way back went through a building that had a big ditch, and I was required to remove my pants and throw them in the ditch to be allowed to continue.

• Just a few days ago I had a dream in which I lived back at my childhood home, and I was watching TV in the den with my family. For some reason, Oscar the Grouch was in the room with us (surrounded by his trash can). Somebody kept ripping silent-but-deadly bunker blasts, and whenever they did, Oscar scowled.

I think I've learned one lesson from these dreams: The ol' Osk doesn't like it when people fart.