Mello Yello successfully smuggled

Tonight, I once again goed to Riverfest - or as I call it, Rip-off-fest. What brand of soda did I smuggle down to the riverfront this year? Might it be Dr Pepper? Big K Cola? Grape Crush? Did I save a can of Teem from 1977 just for this moment?

Why, it was Mello Yello! Smuggled it right through in defiance of the right-wing Allowed Cloud against bringing beverages to this annual festival. It's a shame they worry so much about people having soft drinks at a festival but not real crimes like the home invasions I suffered, but that's conservaworld for ya.

Best all, a person threw up. Because that's what cool people do. Plus, a person was in such a festive mood that they bubbled. Because that's what cool people do.