Flushing out 3CDC

I attended Tuesday's protest against 3CDC's removal of restrooms at Cincinnati's Washington Park. It was a lovely event, with a row of about 7 sparkling-new toilets lined up along the street across from 3CDC's HQ.

I notice that if you want to get The Media to cover your rally, make sure it's about toilets. Usually The Media ignores protests I'm involved in, but since The Media knows mentioning toilets garners ratings, they couldn't resist this one. Channels 5, 9, 12, and 19 were all on the scene, and I know that at least 5, 9, and 19 aired a report on it.

I take it seriously when public facilities lack restrooms. I've had kidney stones and irritable bowel syndrome, and my underpants budget doesn't allow me to go without access to that awesome beast that we call the tinkletorium.

Ironically, I encountered a problem strikingly similar to the Washington Park woes on the way over to the event. After getting lunch, I stopped at Fountain Square on the way to the protest. Fountain Square was left in ruins by 3CDC when they rebuilt it several years ago. I can't find a single improvement they made. All they did was close it down for a year, move everything around, and post signs listing the many things people aren't allowed to do. They also violated the Americans with Disabilities Act by not giving wheelchairs comparable access.

I tried using the restroom on Fountain Square on Tuesday - only to discover the doors were locked. There were dozens of people out on Fountain Square that day, but not a single open restroom. Another day, another 3CDC failure.

I attempted using the lavatory at Arby's on 6th Street, but it required a special token. And the restroom at the swanky Westin Hotel (where the Tea Party thugs stayed) required a room key card - and they look at you funny for being beneath their station. I seriously considered urinating inside the hallway of the building connecting Fountain Square with 6th Street. If I knew I wouldn't have gotten caught, I would not have hesitated. It would serve 3CDC right.

So that's Fountain Square - the bustling center of one of America's largest metropolitan areas. It is to Cincinnati what Times Square is to New York. And it has not a single known restroom in working order anywhere within a reasonable distance. Gee, thanks a billion, 3CDC.

In the meantime, folks are defecating in the street because 3CDC won't reinstall the bathrooms at Washington Park.