Blinded by having your glasses ripped off your face...

I think I just had the funniest dream ever!

I've amassed a couple more weird dreams lately. A few weeks ago, I had a strange dream in which I rode on horseback all over the city streets of Newport and Covington - including inside the Kenton County Public Library building. But that doesn't even remotely compare to the uproarious dream that I woke up with this morning.

In this dream, the lead singer of the Little River Band posted a message insulting me on an Internet message board about the radio industry. This prompted me to get in a lengthy online argument with him.

When this occurred, the vocalist from Manfred Mann's Earth Band ("Blinded by the light...") chimed in and also started attacking me. He posted a message that said, "Some people are like mice disguised as dachshunds. At first, Mr. Brown appeared to be a dachshund. Now he has proven himself to be a mouse."

This prompted me to track him down. I discovered that the Manfred Mann guy was lodged at a hotel in Missouri, so I made a special trip to the Show Me State to confront him. For some reason, my mom accompanied me on this trip. I entered the hotel lobby and found the Manfred Mann guy there. When he refused to apologize, I grabbed his glasses off his face and hurled them across the room.

Then my mom angrily demanded that we go back home.

But it was just a dream! A hilarious dream!

Why in the Wide, Wide World Of Sports would I have a dream involving being insulted by members of the Little River Band and Manfred Mann's Earth Band? Was getting hate mail from Ambrosia next? And why would one of the said musicians post a message comparing me to a mouse posing as a dog?

Because it bips. That's why.