Goofy golfer gums gooey gum (Bubble Gum Weekend)

It's another sports-themed gum ad, and you're going to laugh just as much at this one as you have at the others!

Now is the time to draw a line as to what bubble gum is. If gum is labeled as bubble gum, it's bubble gum. The only functional difference between bubble gum and other gum is supposed to be the formulation: Bubble gum is designed to be stretchier, so people can more easily bubble with it.

The real difference is often only in marketing. Gum experts lament the current state of the industry, because nowadays, even products expressly labeled as bubble gum barely bubble. Thus, it's only fair that even gum that is not marketed as bubble gum is eligible for being featured on this blog.

Such is the case with this unintentionally funny Freedent commersh that bears a date of 1989:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlAriRgY9bg

Freedent always seemed to be marketed as gum for people with no teeth. Most people I know who are over 30, however, have hardly a tooth to speak of, yet when they chew gum, it's never Freedent.

This commercial features a man on a golf course in a goofy pink shirt extolling Freedent's capabilities. I forgot about this ad campaign for years until I found that clip on YouTube and remembered how I used to think the jingle that sang, "Moistens your mouth," actually said, "Poisons your mouth."

Freedent's selling point is that it doesn't stick, but doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of gum? Gum wouldn't be gum if it wasn't sticky. People like to chomp big wads of gum, let them get stuck in their dentures, and use the gum to plug up faucets in sinks in public restrooms - so the next time someone uses the sink, the water shoots out horizontally and hits them in the crotch so it makes them look like they pissed their pants. Freedent seems to offer no such amusement.

Let gum be gum. That'll make America strong again!