Monday, February 2, 2009

World of hurt

I'm in such a world of hurt that if I still worked at the library, I wouldn't even be able to show up today (even though I rarely missed work there).

I can't sleep now, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to maintain my usual schedule for this blog the next few days, because of events that occurred yesterday.

If there's one thing I will not stand for, it's being the victim of personal (and vaguely classist) attacks for events I had absolutely nothing to do with. You think you know people well enough that they won't talk smack about you in public, but sometimes you don't.

You don't make friends with people by talking trash about them, and if this smartass had made these statements to my face, I would have knocked his fucking block off. I can appreciate satire or constructive criticism, but what was said yesterday was nothing short of a personal attack.

If you want to look at the glass as half-full instead of half-empty, this is the point at which we get down on our knees and thank our lucky stars that this situation wasn't stoked further like it would have been in years past. The chorus of an old Joan Jett & the Blackhearts hit comes immediately to mind.

I'm not going to take advantage of this cruel game that was kept up at my expense, because I don't want reminders of it around. At least I'm being the better sport here.

I don't know whether only one individual is in on this game, but of all the things I've experienced, this was about the most underhanded and one of the sickest. When I came to this realization, I felt a jab in my heart, and I was shaking for hours.

I think sleep this morning is pretty much out of the question. But I've survived crises worse than this that were fanned for years. I don't expect to be taken down by this for very long.