List of demands to thwart Detroit move

I decided Tuesday I was moving out of town - most likely to Detroit. I even changed the current city on my Facebook profile to Detroit.

Then people suddenly decided they didn't want me to move. Who can blame them? If I move, there won't be anyone left to do all the work they talk about doing but won't do. They're like the kid in school who was really smart but had to be coached by the teacher to do their coursework.

So I'm coming up with some very simple demands.

Demand #1: More stable employment, because I'm not making enough money from my blogs, book projects, and other websites to justify staying in this area. I went on 4 different Facepoo pages to ask if any small businesses here were hiring for maintenance jobs, and almost all the replies I got were people criticizing my "scary" Facebook profile photo. Leftists with knives frighten the Establishment. Tough toilets. What you see is what you get.

I don't want to accept handouts to do nothing. I was brung up with the belief that almost any task is worth doing right. If anyone supports handouts and sloth, it's the fascist fucks in the Tea Party.

Demand #2: Additional pay to stay in the area. Just living here actually is work. Just living in most places in America actually is work. I mean that literally. We live in the Golden Age of Treason, and it takes actual work to clean up the Tea Party's heroin dealing and other messes. I calculate that if I'm hired for conventional employment again, my going rate for extra pay should be another $694.08 a week (negotiable). Ideally, the Tea Party would pay it, but the money has to come from somewhere.

Not being paid to stay in the area is actually worse - economically and morally - than the cancer scam that I sued over. By far. A few weeks of living here is valued at more than the amount I lost to that swindle. You can reasonably argue that the cancer scammer has a very real medical condition - drug addiction - and that there's no evidence they wouldn't pay me back in full if they cleaned up. (Not like I expect them to clean up.)

Demand #3: An official audit or legal action against recent election results in Kentucky. In anything resembling a democracy, this is how we do.

These are binding guidelines for me to stay in the area. Comply or don't whine.