'G'! Lee! (Bubble Gum Weekend)

The specter of bubbling in advertising isn't limited to gum commercials. Gum has long been used as a gimmick to advertise a wide variety of products.

Such is the case with a commersh for Lee Press-On Nails that bears a date of 1987. The only reason I'm giving this ad its own entry is that it's connected with an incident from my high school years that still brings laughter.

When I was a freshman, someone coined the battle cry, "'G'! Gum!" It was like a 'Sesame Street' mantra about the letter 'G'. It began when the school made us move tables in the bingo hall and we kept noticing there was gum stuck all over the bottoms of the tables.

This saying was an overnight sensation. During the multiple-choice standardized tests (which are Kentucky's state religion), I kept hearing one of my classmates whisper, "'G'." I thought he was going to say, "Gum." But when I heard him whispering other letters, I knew he was actually facilitating cheating by giving out the answers.

One day in the locker room after gym, one of my classmates declared, "'G'! Gum!" Another student responded that it sounded like a line from a Lee Press-On Nails ad: "'G'! Lee!" I had never seen the ad, but I burst out laughing because I failed to see the connection between 'G' and Lee.

Not long after that, I saw the commercial in question. It didn't say, "'G'! Lee!" But it did announce, "Bubble gum!" amidst a variety of catchphrases and colorful lettering.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume Lee Press-On Nails are no longer sold. Every mention of this brand of press-on fingernails that I can find on the Internet is in connection with the '80s, and Amazon doesn't even seem to be selling them. Because this product seems to no longer exist, I have no objection to embedding the uproarious commersh here:



The ad is rife with goofy '80s fashions, strange music, and infantile rhymes. The background looks like someone just pasted a giant sheet of Reynolds Wrap to the wall.

It's unclear if anyone ever purchased this product, for most who saw the commercial were probably so doubled over in laughter at this garish jumble that they didn't even know what was being advertised.

It would be a shame if Lee Press-On Nails were still sold while it's so difficult to find lunchmeat that isn't spoiled or bread that doesn't taste like Clorox. It wouldn't be entirely unsurprising though, because BushAmerica means millionaires complain about not getting free cosmetic surgery while I had to go 11 years without seeing a dentist.