Plop plop fizz fizz...

One of the pivotal events of my life happened 20 years ago today.

On Friday, November 18, 1988, I was treated to the Plop Lecture. Many of the circumstances of this event are a blur, but we do know this: I was a sophomore in high school, and the principal was throwing a temper tantrum about the toilets getting clogged with scissors and underpants. He famously declared, "Plop! There it goes! It's gone!"

I've told this story countless times, and it never gets old!

Following that jaw-dropping harangue, I declared November 18 of every year from then on to be Plop Day. It's celebrated with lots of toilet humor, fizzy drinks, and loud music.

Just yesterday, there was a photo of the old guy on the local newspaper website. He's scowling and pointing his finger, just as he always did in my day.

The restroom mischief that preceded the Plop Lecture fits the political theme of The Online Lunchpail. The headmaster's tirade is linked inseparably with the 1988 election. No election, no Plop Lecture.

The whole thing started when the walkie-talkie got put in the toilet in October. Shortly thereafter, there was a campaign ad on Power 94½ radio for Mad Dog Bush, in which the Republican candidate came on at the end and gave a usual standard line like, "Paid for by Bush for President." It sounded as if he was speaking through a waterlogged walkie-talkie.

Inspired by that, I said something like, "I'm going to put something in the toilet at school if Bush wins." What else was I supposed to do? I wasn't old enough to vote. Why not be creative in voicing your opinion about how much Bush stinks?

Sure enough, Mad Dog Bush winned. Hence my contribution to the toilet hijinks: I put a campaign flyer for a local GOP politician in the johnnypot at school to protest the election results.

I still don't know who committed the other ploppings from the walkie-talkie up to November 18, but it would be a laugh-out-loud riot to find out now!

This is also one of these standard entries that goes on all of my blogs - except my MySpace one, of course, because MySpace's blog feature is so hard to use. Oh, what the hell, I'll post it there anyway! The 20-year anniversary of the Plop Lecture is special enough to be posted on 3 blogs!

How far have we come in these past 20 years? The country was crumbling then, but now there may finally be a glimmer of hope on the political front!

What else was going on in 1988? The Internet was only in its infancy in 1988. A state-of-the-art modem was 1200 baud. Mullets and parachute pants were in. 'Roseanne' and 'The Cosby Show' ruled the TV airwaves. Pooing was cool (and still is). The #1 song on Billboard's Hot 100 at the time of the Plop Lecture was "Bad Medicine" by Bon Jovi.

There ain't no doctor that can cure the disease of plopitis!

Happy Plop Day, everyone! And may the next 20 years be even ploppier!