Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Conservatives call Craig arrest "war on the West"

Man, conservatives are hilarious, aren't they? After one of their own was caught with his trousers down around his ankles (literally), they cry that the whole thing is a big conspiracy.

According to the misnamed American Land Rights Association, a conservative group, the arrest of Larry Craig is the first shot in a "war on the West." The ALRA calls itself a "property rights" group, but that's one of these phrases trotted out by self-righteous conservatives to mean the opposite of its real meaning. The "property rights" movement claims to fight "land grabs", but their idea of a "land grab" doesn't mean taking old houses in working-class areas and illegally giving them to Wal-Mart. To the ALRA and their ilk, a "land grab" is when the government fails to give public land to wealthy landowners or bars rich landowners from using their land for unreasonable purposes.

The ALRA's claims to support "property rights" are further dashed to smithereens by their opposition to allowing Native Americans to build more casinos on their own land.

Now the ALRA says Craig's arrest at Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport for his behavior in a public restroom was nothing but a big frame-up designed to persecute Craig for his conservativeness and that the airport has declared a "war on the West." So they're calling for a boycott of the airport. But an airport spokesman contends, "We believe that most people will be appreciative of the fact that we try to keep the entire airport safe, including the restrooms."

Chuck Cushman, who heads the ALRA, said, "Frankly, I've been in that Minnesota airport many times. Virtually everything Sen. Craig did, I have done." Oh, so you tried performing sex acts with undercover cops too? Or do all conservatives just like to tap on bathroom floors and claim they're picking up pieces of toilet paper that only they can see?

Hopefully the boycott by conservatives will make them miss their own Republican National Convention next year. That would be so funny.

Not only is the ALRA urging a boycott of the airport but also of Northwest Airlines, for some reason.

Keep making us laugh, ALRA.


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