More elections loom

Elections are like a big, stinky fart in that they always have a tendency to loom. But this year there's only 3 states - in the whoooooooooole country - that have gubernatorial elections. One of them is Louisiana, which somehow became a Republican pick-up, as you know.

Another is my home state of Kentucky, which looks sure to be a Democratic pick-up, thanks to the ongoing scandals and extremist views of incumbent Republican Gov. Ernie "Hey Bert" Fletcher. Fletcher was indicted last year in the merit system investigation that resulted from his Stalin-like efforts to illegally purge folks from government jobs because of their political affiliations. Fletcher also claimed evolution violates the Declaration of Independence. His only election opponent is Democrat Steve Beshear, a former Kentucky Attorney General and Lieutenant Governor, who's nothing to really get too excited about. The uncontroversial Beshear really just sort of exists. He's not as inspiring as, say, Gatewood Galbraith, but yep, he'll win.

I damn sure won't vote for Ernie Fletcher, and never have, so that's another vote against the forces of doom. (Fletcher only got his first term because some Republican county bosses rigged the election.)

The other state with a big election this year is Mississippi, home of incumbent Republican Gov. Haley Barbour, one of the worst governors in America. Barbour is a jerk who made racist comments during his failed Senate bid and was later appointed as chair of the Republican National Committee. As governor, Barbour - despite claiming to be a champion of lower taxes - actually vetoed a bill that would have lowered the state's outrageous food tax, and he also ruined Mississippi's tort system. Barbour's Democratic opponent is John Arthur Eaves, known to Mississippians for his ads for his law firm.

I don't know why Eaves isn't doing better in the polls with his populist economic views, but hey, the media thinks Barbour is just so great that they're not going to let Barbour lose. Barbour is kind of like the new Bill Owens or Tommy Thompson or maybe even Bush, in that he stinks at everything he does but can't be criticized for it.

So now you know the kind of hopeless condition Louisiana and Mississippi are in. Or are they hopeless? I've had success at distracting the Kentucky wingnuts from their agenda, so I need some folks in the other states to come down hard on their local loudmouths even after they inexplicably win their elections.