Misuses of the newses

Since this is another slow news day (oh, if this blog was around in 2004!) allow me to regale you with one of my pet peeves.

I can think of at least 3 things that are never a justification for breaking in to a TV show. Some news stories are important. For instance, if the toilet at that old furniture warehouse on Licking Pike overflowed and threatened to flood Newport with a wall of poo water, I'd consider that an emergency that should preempt most other programming. But some things aren't worth disrupting your programming for:

1) If some baseball or football player gets traded, it's not worth interrupting regular programming for. I don't think I can name more than 3 current NFL or Major League Baseball athletes, so I don't care to hear about every player who gets traded. But there's at least one TV station in my area where, every time a player gets traded, they run their "BREAKING NEWS" graphic and go to the press conference about it. So whenever you see the "BREAKING NEWS" bit and the sports anchor appears, you might as well shut the TV off, because this shit monopolizes the dial for the next hour as they show the entire press conference.

Even 'The Jerry Springer Show' is more important than that boring nonsense.

2) It's not worth disrupting programming to show a local college sports team getting off the plane while returning home from a tournament they lost. I won't forget the time in the early '90s when my mom had to miss her favorite soap opera because of this garbage. It's not like I'm a big soap fan, but anything beats a bunch of whiny players from a team nobody gives a damn about in the first place boo-hooing because they lost.

3) Stock market plunges. Unless it's something like what happened in October 1929, don't bother me with it until the regular news hour. Yet they always do. Usually the local stations let the networks break in when something like this happens. But since I don't have stocks, every market dive does nothing except confirm that the economy is terrible, which is something I've known for 20 years. If some investors lose their precious, precious money, don't bug me about it unless it starts hurting me! (Dunks back inside trash can and slams lid down.)

I've missed several hilarious scenes in court shows because Brian Williams was so worried about wealthy investors losing all the money they got from a system that's built on the backs of people like me.

Weather reports for Missouri don't exactly have a place disrupting Cincinnati airwaves either, so that makes 4 things.

It really is time to bring back TV Brick, isn't it?