Attention Newark youth!

Hey-hey, kids!

If you're old enough to use the Internet, then you're old enough for a little advice from a wise old dude like me.

If you live in Newark, New Jersey, you're probably boiling mad right about now because of the new school uniform policy. Especially after the school system in your city wasted valuable tax dollars buying billboards boasting about it. I'd be furious!

Well, guess what? This so-called mandatory uniform policy is just a paper tiger. Yes, I know everything these days seems like it's mandatory this, mandatory that, but I just discovered a little secret.

A new article in your hometown paper, the Star-Ledger, reports that there are no penalties for noncompliance with the uniform policy. None. This factoid is buried deep down in the article, but the article does reluctantly admit that this is the case. (Considering the pro-uniform bias of the article, I bet the Star-Ledger is practically in tears over that fact.)

Your family might not believe you without proof, so here's the link so you can show them:

http://www.nj.com/newark/index.ssf/2008/12/dress_code_begins_in_newark.html

In other words, you can keep coming to school out of uniform, and no punishment applies.

Tell all your friends! This was a secret your school has been hiding from you, and now it's been blown wide open!

So much for that 85% compliance rate now, huh?