An election memory and a flatulent flashback

The past few days have been slow news days. The only so-called "stories" seem to be the media accusing itself of being too hard on Failin' Palin.

So allow me (ooh...) to regale you with a story of an election long past.

It was 1988. 'Cheers' ruled the TV airwaves. Bruce Hornsby & the Range and Huey Lewis & the News dominated the music biz. And there was an election in the offing! The leading presidential tickets of course were Michael Dukakis/Lloyd Bentsen on the Democratic side and George Bush/Dan Quayle on the Republican side.

I was 15 at the time, and one evening my family gathered around the ol' b00b t00b to watch the vice-presidential debate. This of course is the debate where Bentsen said to Quayle, "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."

Somebody in our living room seemed to have an extremely low opinion of Quayle's laughable performance. This is evident because the aroma of silent but deadly bunker blasts kept hovering thickly in the room.

Everyone blamed the dog. He was relaxing on the floor in front of the human members of the household, with his butt facing us.

The fart stench recurred for some time throughout the telecast. Each time it came back, it was always stronger. It was always met with either disgust or amusement by various family members.

"Phew!"

"Go lay down!"

"Good dog!"

This hilarity continued, but then came the telltale sign that the dog was likely innocent. While Dan Quayle was gibbering, we detected yet another bunker blast. But this one wasn't silent but violent. It was loud and proud!

Dogs almost never crack audible bunkeroos. In fact, the dog lifted up his head at the sound of this particular wafto. So I guess he's off the hook as a suspect.

I burst out laughing, and my parents became furious that someone disrupted the debate by loudly farting in the middle of it. But at least it cleared the air (so to speak) about the belief that a dog was responsible.

If I was speaking at a party convention now, this story would probably be the anecdote from my youth that I'd use to illustrate my interest in politics - for it was so funny!