Warning to Oktoberfest vandals

After I put new pro-Green and pro-labor signs on the Peace Bike today, I fully expected them to be vandalized tomorrow or Sunday outside Oktoberfest in Cincinnati.

Guess what, vandals? I'm 100 steps ahead of you.

In 2004, they vandalized the bike by sticking Bush stickers on my old signs. Today I tried thinking of a way to keep stickers from sticking to the new signs. So I had to find a good lubricant so stickers won't stick.

I thought of smearing my new signs (which are made of laminated paper) with a thin coat of mayonnaise (which becomes transparent when it sits out), but I feared it may stink. So I considered Blistex instead. But there's not enough of the goo to spare. So then I considered Lanacane. But Lanacane is powerful stuff, and I was afraid the right-wing nutters would scream that it's a chemical weapon.

I settled on sunblock lotion. A good coat of sunscreen is going to cover each sign, and it'll be thin enough to see through so you can still read the signs.

What's really going to be funny is the way the right-wing vandals act when they touch the signs and discover they're all slimy! I wish I could mount the Eyewitness Cam in a secret location to record that! They're going to think the sunscreen is baste!

I can't guarantee they won't find a way to vandalize the Peace Bike again, but at least now I've reduced the odds to about 50/50.

If they want to waste stickers by sticking them on slimy signs where they won't stay up, let 'em look stupid.