Chuck Norris goes completely bonkers

Twenty years ago, Chuck Norris was one of the most admired celebrities in America. So it's truly sad to see him become the babbling mess of a man he is now.

Quite frankly, I'm almost in tears to see how far Norris has declined. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels the same way.

Lately, some of the kookier neighborhoods of the wingnutosphere have demanded that the U.S. military refuse any order President Obama gives them. This would be illegal, of course, as the President is Commander-in-Chief. But this demand underscores what a bunch of sore losers the wingnuts are.

Now it's getting beyond the point where it's no longer funny but simply sad.

Now Chuck Norris has joined this call by claiming there are thousands of right-wing cell groups willing to back him up in a revolt against the government.

In an appearance on Glenn Beck's talk-shit radio show, Norris said he might "run for President of Texas." Norris said he can do this because Texas never was part of the United States in the first place. He said Texas is actually a separate country.

Well, if Texas was never part of the United States, that means the Bushes didn't live in the U.S. when they ran for President. The Constitution says you had to have lived in the U.S. for at least 14 years to be President.

I guess that means we can erase everything the Bush royal family did in the White House, huh, Chuck?

It was conservative politicians who broke the social contract in the '90s, so if anyone had cause to secede, it was the less conservative areas - to avoid being hamstrung by illegitimate America-hating "leaders" like Newt Gingrich and little Georgie.

And believe me, they were illegitimate. The electoral events of 1994 had little more legitimacy than Bush's bogus 2000 "win", and it is our duty to say so.

We were force-fed leadership we didn't like for decades, and if we dared to criticized it, we were ignored, ridiculed, fought - before most folks realized we were right. Now it's Chuck Norris's turn to have to live under leadership he doesn't like.