Monday, September 7, 2009

Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?

For the second year in a row, I violated the exact same Allowed Cloud at Cincinnati's Riverfest.

This attempt at a public street festival, which dips into northern Kentucky, disallows people from bringing soft drinks, water, or any other beverage into the event.

This rule wasn't instituted until about 10 or 15 years ago (in the police state boom of the time). The purpose of this rule was to force people to buy beverages at the inflated prices charged within the festival. Among other things, this ridiculous diktat has resulted in police dumping out the contents of babies' bottles.

Last year, I ran afoul of this Allowed Cloud by smuggling in a bottle of Pepsi, which was stowed safely in my jeans pocket. This year, I had those smuggler's blues again, as I snuck in a bottle of Dr Pepper:


(http://i30.tinypic.com/2lm8fa9.jpg)

I strolled right past the military police on Riverboat Row - and never got caught!

When I got to the floodwall to see the fireworks, I removed the flask of soda from my pocket and started guzzlin' away!

Why do I do this? If nobody else openly challenges petty, illogical, greed-driven Allowed Clouds like this, I must. Or else they'll keep expanding, and someday we will all wake up in an America we don't recognize - if that hasn't already happened.

Local authorities monitor this blog, and the fact that I bring refreshments into Riverfest must rankle them to no end. They know they can't do shit about it, because I will absolutely humiliate them on this blog if they do.

Incidentally, I can't find anything in the Kentucky or Ohio penal code against carrying soft drinks on public thoroughfares. So what can they possibly arrest me for?

No comments:

Post a Comment