Monday, February 18, 2008

Heritage Foundation tries to scare us, but its spelling is all that's scary

How do you know someone's fit to have their cart full of groceries violently slammed into lest they block you in the aisle at the store? If they're one of these freaks who go around babbling that Bush's warrantless wiretap program is so great and claims that anyone who opposes it is a traitor. If they think the country is at risk if the eavesdropping program is halted, they're pretty much a lost cause and a loser.

Admit it. Anytime you hear some Nazi saying that Bush's illegal wiretap program keeps America safe, you find it very hard not to let it come to blows. (Their whole ideology is practically a deliberate incitement to make you lose your cool.) But if you ask them how safe Bush kept us back in September 2001, their only reply is a few gallons of spittle. (Luckily I don't think I've ever met anyone in person who praised the phone spying program.)

The unconstitutional law that passed in August that illegally allowed some of these peculiar wiretaps was introduced by Mitch McConnell, the nasty little asshole from my state who I'm proud to say I've never voted for. The law expired yesterday under its 6-month sunset provision. Just prior to the law's expiration, the Bush cult cried that if the law wasn't renewed, America would be exposed to the elements of this Wide, Wide World Of Sports they fear so much. Regarding the loss of this law, bubble gum connoisseur McConnell sniffed, "What will happen at midnight tonight is much more significant than stump speeches, steroids, or superdelegates. On Sunday, the terrorist tracking program ... no longer will be fully operational."

Actually it expired because the Republicans bungled it so badly, so if the lack of the wiretap program is such a threat, they have nobody to blame but themselves.

The Heritage Foundation, a right-wing think tank, is making the most of conservatives' own fascism streak. Just before the law expired, the foundation's website featured a clock that counted down to their fantasized doomsday:

Ooh, we're rilly rilly rilly scared.

After midnight struck, things got stupider - as is so often the case in the fucked-up world of the conservative intelligentsia. The Hitlerage Foundation replaced the first clock with this clock, counting the amount of time the law had been expired:

"Extention"? You know, most computers these days have spell check software. You'd think Heritage Foundation would use it for something as important as all of us suddenly dying because Congress wouldn't extend Bush's law fast enough. (That's sarcasm, people.)

Now they've fixed the spelling error, but the clock is a day off.

This whole clock deal just keeps on giving, doesn't it?

Nobody gives a shit about this clock anyway, except the raving horse's asses who stick by the wiretap program. While these armchair chickenhawks call everyone else traitors, their friends at the Heritage Foundation have just released a ranking declaring the right-wing dictatorship of Singapore to be the second-freest country in the world (several notches ahead of the United States). Throughout the '90s, Singapore had one of the most anti-American regimes anywhere, but conservatives back then blasted Bill Clinton when he refused to adopt Singapore's repressive "quality of life" measures.

The real enemies of America are the likes of the Hitlerage Foundation and their fellow drive-by rightists. They're under strict orders to go fuck themselves.


1 comment:

  1. I don't think I've met anyone in person who praised the spying program either.

    I think there's a decimal point missing when we talk about the "22 percenters". Or maybe it's just that we're all adults and we're old enough not to stick around and listen to their ravings.