Wednesday, February 20, 2008

The smell of Bushism

Have you ever wondered what political ideologies smell like?

Just now as I was sitting here, a foul odor began wafting my way. It smells like shit. It doesn't smell like a fart. It smells like somebody actually dropped a deuce in their trousers.

I don't know where it's coming from, but it ain't coming from me. It's a building with 3 apartments, so it has to be from one of the other residences. In other words, one of the neighbors must be walking around in dirty drawers.

That's what I imagine the Bushist brand of conservatism smelling like. The older faction of conservatism I envision as smelling like paint thinner or burned rubber. But Bush smells like shit.

Some of the more obstreperous conservatives who just discredit themselves every time they open their mouths are imagined as smelling not of feces, but of the gas produced by flatulence - rendering them the mere joker to King George. Some of the funnier ones smell of a dog shit fart - a rare type of bunker blast that briefly stinks of canine excrement, only much more comical. But Bushism...smells...like...shit!

Pure shit!

So the next time you smell a poopy, you may not have to inspect your Fruit of the Looms. It could mean that a Bush conservative is somewhere in the vicinity. So the first thing to do when you detect a shit odor may be to lock all your doors and close all your windows, because a Bushist - perhaps Richard Perle, John Cornyn, or even the Decider himself - may be on the prowl.

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